Push up on Me
by BumbleLellie
Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty bad hand at life, he's stuck at AA with his abusive father, when he meets Beth. Maybe the only person who can understand him, Daryl sets out to save her from her own self-destruction. We'll look at family dynamics and the importance of relying on someone else. non-apocalyptic.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh dear, I know I am in the middle of another story but I really wanted playing my hand at a non-apocalyptic world for a while.**

**So I had a really fun idea of how Beth and Daryl could meet, I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, you guys tell me!**

The meeting was going well as expected. Daryl Dixon sat alone in his seat, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, the other held a plastic cup of apple juice. Ten minutes at the 'alcoholics anonymous annual summer family barbeque' and already he needed some whiskey. It was alright in about a 50 more minutes he would leave- either his father would be tired of acting nice or he would literally loose it and storm out.

He came with his father, not to be supportive. To be honest, Daryl didn't think his father deserved a rat's arse being given over him, not after all the past shit he had done. But Merle had insisted that he go, threatened to beat him up if he heard he hadn't. Merle hadn't seen their father in years, not since being a teenager, but he still made Daryl do shit like bring his groceries and drive him to friends' houses. Maybe Merle could forgive him because he was drugged up to the eyeballs most the time, like father like son. But Daryl couldn't feel anything but hate toward that man called 'dad'. He would never be forgiven, and he could never redeem himself- not after his childhood.

Daryl could hear the normal family noises going on around him. Children were squealing happily, playing on a rented bouncy castle at the end of the garden. The adults all chatted loudly, placing their hands on each other's forearms in a signal of 'I'm here for you in understand'. Ha, they didn't understand a thing about addiction.

His family was built on addiction, and no one had greater appreciation for the hold it had than he did. His father had battle alcoholism, and would drink until he got thrown out of the bar, or thrown in jail. And when he was collected by Daryl, he would yell at him too, sometimes even try for a swing. Daryl was getting to big for swings though. His mother had been a chain-smoker, and those had killed her. Set the house on fire just like she did her lungs. Merle, had followed their footsteps, starting out early with light stuff. Eventually he was doing meth and who-knows-what-else, whilst dealing to the local high schoolers.

Ah, there we are, the sweet sound of real family, not his 50's television drama. Far away in the distance he could make out two screaming women on the porch, they didn't look related. Probably arguing over who spilt the couscous. This place was a joke.

An elderly man came over, standing between them, he spoke to the taller of the two. She reeled back, storming off whilst screaming ''you always take her fucking side'' over her shoulder like a petulant child. The entire garden watcher her procession to the end of the garden with slightly aghast mouths. As she came closer, Daryl was impressed at the lack of tears. He expected her to be springing leaks, but instead he got a cold stubbornness that demanded a bit of respect. She didn't give a damn that everyone was staring at her.

Her eyes were fixed, and he watched her quietly for a bit. She was playing with children, her short cropped hair swinging round as she helped them to play. From sad to laughing in 0 to 60. The woman had a pretty face, it held a strength that the rest of her radiated. But no-one kicks up a fuss like that without reason, and this fiery brunette must have had a pretty big reason.

The sun was coming down warmly, and Daryl was getting tired of all this sitting. Unexpectedly a woman came up to him, offering him a glass of lemonade and a smile. He shook his head and politely as possible declined.

''Oh, you must be Jack's son.'' Her smile was bright, but Daryl felt his gut twist at being affiliated with that man. It was bad enough sharing DNA without people pointing it out. ''He's such a lovely man!'' Daryl was glad he hadn't taken up the lemonade because he would have spat it straight up then.

''He was just telling us about those puppies he stopped a man drowning at the creek. Such horrible people in the world, and so brave of your father to go in and stop him.'' The woman was happily chatting on, but none of what she said made sense. Is this what the old man was telling everyone? Daryl was almost sure that it would be his father drowning the puppies and being beaten up by some other guy. He probably span the story round. But these people were plain stupid if they believed his lies. And horrible people, oh, Jack knew all about horrible people.

''You must be Daryl, the one with anger issues.'' The last statement made him pay attention to her. What? The look must have shown on his face, because she started backtracking. He stood up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Daryl saw red, hot burning crimson. Knowing too well he had to remove himself from the situation, he spun around, leaving the perplexed woman alone. That was it, the last straw. The house was empty except a few women's voices in the kitchen, everyone else was enjoying the sunshine outside. Why was he even here? Screw Merle and his 'family look after their own' ideal. He felt that way, great he could get himself out of prison and look after that man himself, he was done.

He stomped up the stairs, trying to find somewhere to cool off a bit before he found the old man and forced him into to the truck. So maybe he was a little scared of his big brother still. The hallway was picturesquely American, everything clean and comforting. It set his teeth on edge. Pushing open a door he discovered what he guessed to be a guest room. The distinct lack of personality and floral-lacy accessories made him think it was alright to hide here a while.

Walking across the room to sit on the floor with his head against the bed so he couldn't be seen, he could wait out his anger there, like he had always done. Only, there already someone there. A small figure was sat with her knees up, back leaning against the bed frame. A small faced looked up at him from under the hood of her jacket. Her eyes took in his red face and tense stance, she popped her head phones out her ears.

''You can sit if you want, nowhere else really to hide inconspicuously.'' Her voice was light and had that southern tone, so she was local. He had little choice but to accept the offer, so he sat at the foot of the bed and stared at the wall. They sat there for a while, in silence.

Eventually her phone rang, she looked at the number and swore, leaving it to ring. It couldn't be the person she was here for, or the person she brought along. The noise would bring them to her if they were looking. No, his guess was it was someone outside the AA barbeque, and she was playing it off that she was busy supporting or being supported. The phone kept buzzing, her foot began to tap frantically as if having some inner argument.

''If you don't want to answer it, put it on silent, that way its outta mind.'' He didn't mean to say it out loud, he had a habit of making suggestions in his head, but he never much liked talking to people. People were impossible to understand, and either they were spoiled or spoilt. She seemed shocked at his sudden intervention, but her hand pulled out the phone and turned the ringer off. Still she was reluctant to put it where she was ignorant of being called or not, so she placed it on the floor beside her in case it lit up again.

He took a moment to observe her, she had light blonde hair that fell in soft waves. In fact, everything about her was oft, her expression and the way she held herself. Such a contrast to the brunette fireball he saw earlier, who was all edges. But, wait, there they had the same eyes. So they were related, a silly mistake to disregard them on their difference. He and merle weren't alike either.

''So you're the porch-wrestler?'' he tried to joke, she tilted her head at him, trying to figure him out.

''Beth is my non-professional name.'' she smiled slightly. ''My sister was being less than understanding, at least it wasn't wrestling- Maggie's always been able to beat me up.'' He understood why she was here now, avoiding everyone after that confrontation, and he didn't blame her. She must have sulked off as he was watching her sister do the same.

''Down side of being a younger sibling, but we do learn to run really fast'' Daryl nodded back at her, she gave a full-fledged grin and smiled. He looked over at her. Normally Dixon was all too happy to sit in any kind of silence, be it comfortable or not. But, there was too much of him in her, and he wanted to know where the similarities ended.

''This place needs vodka,'' she groaned unexpectedly, rolling her sleeves up. It must be boiling int hat thing, he thought, the middle of summer and wearing a sweatshirt. He laughed at her and agreed, leading him to ask if that's why she was here.

''No,'' she snorted, ''my daddy he's 'recovering', though he's so many times off the bandwagon I'm starting to think being on it is only when he sleeps.'' Her voice was heavy, this was obviously an exhausting topic, probably years of hope. But some people just never really change.

''Mine too. Though he's a right ol' git.'' Daryl's venomous voice surprised even him, Beth was looking at him with an awkward look of puzzlement. He didn't want to go into it, but years of bottling it up spilled out to this little blonde haired angel. He told her only of the less bad things Jack did when drunk, stuff like tying him to a tree for the night and breaking his mother's coffee table. She only nodded and added in words of parallel with her own life. Rubbing her dotted arms.

Letting it get off his chest. There was something calming about her, like she was a locked bottle, he knew she wouldn't tell anyone.

''One time, my dad had drunk so much he saw Maggie sneaking a guy into her room and walked off saying she was as much of a whore as her mother had been. Took her weeks to look at him without glares and even longer to talk to him. He stayed off for a whole 4 months that time.''

They had been sat there for almost an hour, exchanging stories. He hadn't felt this close to anyone in years, he understood her, and respected her. It wasn't easy to live the life she had, but somehow she came out of it unbitter. And he couldn't fit her into either category.

Beth wasn't spoiled. Her father's verbal abuse was counteracted by his gentle sobriety, from what he heard Herschel was a god-fearing and apologetic man in reality. That allowed her to retain a lost innocence to the other children like them. He had turned cold, his brother vindictive and many more of his friends shared their problems. But she kept up the good graces of normality, whilst shining an understanding.

And she wasn't spoilt, the world hadn't been kind enough to give her everything. She had a pretty face and that kind of dominating cute appeal, but years of lacking hope or love, left her humbled. He suspected there was greater reason for the heavy sadness in her eyes, not just her father.

The phone lit up again, Beth sighed knowing she had to go this time. A text flew up almost immediately after the call ended.

''I have to go, it was lovely meeting you. See you at the Christmas do, I guess.'' She shrugged, playing it off as a small deal, and got to her feet. Her hair fell over her shoulder in a bright cascade as she leaned over to offer her hand. He shook it and nodded, moving her legs so she could step over. God, she was so small.

Something didn't sit right with him, her pale forearms were dotted with dark prints, and her eyes had that hollow look in them. His history was before him in this girl, only she wasn't going say anything, just like his mother. His mother had trying to get love from that man downstairs, all she ever got was deluded pain. He couldn't let her leave without acknowledging it. Sure, it was none of his business and if it were him he'd punch the guy who brought it up. But the yellow healing bruises and then the overlaying fresh, noon had noticed had they? And if no one else was going to save her, he'd at east give her a place to turn. After all he had someone do the same for him.

He stood up, rummaging through the bedside draw a second. Then ran down the stairs getting her just before she got in her car. He hadn't realised how short she was, she barely reached his shoulder, and he wasn't a tall man himself. Her jumper sleeves were rolled back down and she looked at him expectantly.

''Whoever did that to your arm, they don't deserve you. He does it again you call me.'' Daryl passed her the scrap of paper with his number on.

**_So, what's the verdict?_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_There's going to be a lack of Bethyl or Deth together in this chapter, instead I feel like playing around with them as individuals. I'm terribly sorry._**

**_This is Beth's chapter. To answer queries indeed Daryl is about 30 and Beth 23-ish_**

Beth sighed and rolled over away from the man beside her. It was way past midnight, and she had been waiting to hear his snoring which signalled being able to move without him noticing. She stared at the framed photograph of her family on the bedside table, the streetlights outside hit it perfectly, so she could make out her sisters face. I'm so sorry, Mags.

''You're never around anymore.'' ''You're such a selfish brat.'' ''Why even bother turning up, Beth?'' ''You're the reason he's drinking again.'' ''Stop apologising to me, you don't mean it.'' ''I'm so sick of Beth-this and Beth-that.'' ''Don't bother coming for Christmas.'' ''It's better that way.''

There were a thousand things she wanted to say to her sister, but they were a thousand unspeakable things. Maggie couldn't understand Beth weakness. Wouldn't understand that Beth deserved this for being a bad person. Besides, he didn't mean it, she made him.

I wasn't always like this, in fact it was worse. At least she had a roof over her head and someone who loved her at her side. And that was enough, it had to be enough. Beth didn't like to contemplate the idea of deserving better, that couldn't be a possibility. She imagined if she believed long enough that this was her fate, then one day it would hit her and she could be at peace. The hitting had been normal to her for years, before Zach her father had hit her twice in a drunken fit, and before even that the girls at school would corner her. It's how it must be for everyone.

Then that guy today had made her feel like hitting wasn't normal, as if he couldn't understand. She had torn up his number and thrown it away.

She looked over her shoulder at Zach. He was bigger than her, but most people were. It was hard for him to touch her without making bruises. His entire hand prints were on her hips, but it was because he loved her. She grimaced at the cold air and as she sat up. Maybe some gin would make her see clearer, or fuzzier- she wasn't picky.

She didn't bother getting dressed, just walked down the stairs in vulnerable solitude. Monsters can't hurt you anymore than his love can.

The light of the fridge illuminated the room, she rummaged for something. They were going to need to shop soon, and that would mean asking him for money. Calculating in her head, as she sipped out the milk carton. Two days ago, asking for gas money. Beth rubbed her eyes, knowing this wasn't going to be easy.

''Bethy, wait up!'' The tanned legs of her sister ran toward her, Beth only grinned and ran out into the empty fields. The long grass tickled her legs, but she kept running, knowing Maggie wasn't far behind. The fields were luscious and green, the farm stretched on to the edges of the woods, and pens of animals were slowly decreasing. Beth wasn't old enough to understand economic issues, but she missed the herd of horses they had, now they only had around 20.

Maggie and Beth were ignorant of the problems, but they would grow to be quiet like Shawn and Annette, but this was a time before that. When they could afford proper food and to play around outside.

Her hair was golden-white in the summer, the sun bleaching the curly waves. At the age of six, Beth Greene was already becoming a heart-breaking beauty, and that was going to open opportunities for her. She and Maggie spent all summer playing by the creek, climbing low branches of trees and feeding stolen hay to the horses in the fields. Beth liked to feel their soft breath tickling her hands, but still had that childish fear of having her fingers bitten.

This was the age of Beth and Maggie, thick as thieves. It's difficult if you didn't have that sister bond to understand it.

The next morning Zach woke up alone in bed, the sheets were cold at her side. What was the point in having a woman if she didn't wake up pressed against you. The thoughts of Beth's small willing body against his did nothing to help his morning problem, which in turn only made him angrier. Getting dressed and ready for work he stomped down the stairs, expecting to find her staring out some window at other men.

But she was in the kitchen, her blonde hair was tied up, tickling her neck. She wore a small sundress, an apron cinching in her waist. It was times like this he loved between them, when she was doing things right and not messing it all up. He could smell pancakes and grinned, taking a chair and admiring her long pale legs.

''Morning honey,'' she kissed his cheek clumsily, biting her lip as she put the plate in front of him. She took the chair across from where he was sat and watched him tuck in.

''These are real good sweet, but ain't there any bacon?'' His eyes glanced over piggishly to the stove, stretching to hezar the sizzle of a proper amercian breakfast.

''You see there ain't any bacon, so I-'' her voice was soft, trying to creep around him, and somehow that made him angrier than if she shouted. She was being dishonest, no saying he wasn't treating her right, when obviously that's what she meant. She was going to get too big for her boots and leave, what would he have then?

''Blamin' me are ya? Don't I do enough? I work day and out fer you and you're never satisfied!'' he grabbed her wrist from across the table, pinning her there so she couldn't run. Last thing he needed was another meeting with her nosey-parker sister, like after the 'I fell down the stairs' debacle. He tightened his grip, breathing heavily.

''No, no! I won't blaming you, I wasn't.'' She looked pleading into his eyes until his grip loosened. Shaking she stood up and wrapped her arms around him, muttering how it was her fault there was no bacon and that she knew how hard he worked. He kept eating his pancakes, letting his anger leave him slowly as she stoked his neck.

He was the man, and because he was the man he knew he had to make his woman happy, no matter how unreasonable she was being.

''I'll pick you up at lunch, take you to Wal-Mart. We gave have ourselves a right little date.'' He looked up at her expectantly, and instantly that fixed smile beamed at him. When he looked away it dropped again, but he wouldn't see.

Her daddy called just before noon, as she was pulling on some strappy heels. They did a usual scripted greeting, asking after each other and their contemporaries. Then he got to the point her called over. Her daddy was a man who could talk, he had his own ways and often those were imposed. She'd automatically listened to him for years, now she was careful to not take his advice, simply because it hurt that part of her heart she didn't let breathe.

''I'm glad you're alright. Maggie didn't mean what she said. We just miss you, Bethy. Come over for tea next Tuesday, we hardly get to see you- it's all she meant. You know she's bad with words, takes it personally. But this old dodderer knows you got a right to a life too

''I understand, I'll swing by real soon. Bye daddy.'' She hung up the phone, wishing there was a way to feel less guilt, but it settled in anyway. She made sure she wasn't specific about when she visited, make no promises, that way you don't disappoint. So what after all these years of knowing what he let her do, suddenly he wanted her to let Maggie back into her heart.

But one day long ago Beth had shut that door in Maggie's face, the day she lost her virginity. And it was too painful to open it now and let all the past seep in. No, she had to keep it out. The guy she had been with gave her pills that made her head feel light and told her that was love. She believed him. And she kept going back, until one day he was gone, didn't even say goodbye.

Maggie wouldn't have understood, would have shouted at her. She didn't need anyone else to make her feel small. Beth thought she had broken her heart, years later she would realise it was just the grip of addiction being starved.

She spent the next week sitting from dawn to dusk at the sky in the empty paddocks of their farm house. Tears topped coming, if her mother had been here maybe Beth wouldn't have given everything for nothing, or maybe something more than a hollow need. The summer sun turned her skin to pale gold and her hair to whitish blonde, the Midas touch. She used the gold to buy more love, it was fleeting but it was cheap.

He checked her over when he picked her up, then told her to put on more lipstick, he wanted the world to know he only got the best. Beth felt suffocated in tight dresses with their floral patterns. She wore her hair up, the way he liked it, 'so he could see all her pretty face'.

They shopped together, buying what little they could afford, but saying nothing about what they had to miss out on. Beth always felt love must be secluded to outing with Zach. He would hold doors for her, and compliment her with a genuine smile. It felt normal, like it had all the time at the beginning, they would laugh and joke for the world to see. He bought her a smoothie to drink, kissing her cheek with a tenderness her never could show here when they were alone. He was too angry in private.

They carried the groceries in to the kitchen, she got him a beer out the fridge and opened it. He smiled at took it, leaving her to unpack as he caught the end of the game. She was putting the meat in the fridge, feeling that it wasn't such a bad day after all when she heard the glass bottle of beer smash against the door frame. Glass rained down a metre from where she stood.

And he was there, face red, holding the phone.

''Bethany, why isn't the phone on the hook?'' he yelled at her, walking forward till he was centimetres away, his breath heavy on her.

''My daddy called, just as I was puttin' my shoes on, that's all sweetie.'' Her voice shook slightly, and she raised her hand to put on his shoulder. He caught it, twisting her fingers painfully so she couldn't help but yell out. He pushed her back hard against the fridge, and started yelling words she was too lost to hear.

The first slap was result of her ignorant look, it came down with the word 'whore'. He gripped her arms and shook her; slut, worthless, slag, bitch. Her tears started flowing down her cheeks, she shook her head, promising she loved only him. There was none else, she wanted him. Then prove it.

She let him pull her upstairs to where the sheets were still twisted form yesterday. She knew better than to let him wait, and helped him take her dress off. He pushed her down, straddling her, and she couldn't breathe.

He couldn't be gentle with her, not after she had called another man. But when he finished, he looked at her red face and purple hips, and brought her in close.

''I'm sorry, Beth. I just love you too much, I won't hurt you anymore.''

If she had a penny for every time he told her that, she would have enough money to buy her freedom. But instead, she let him hold her, stoke her hair and whisper lies.

Tomorrow she would find concealer, fix up the bruises and wear a new layer of lip gloss. After all she was a southern woman, and mama always told her to look her best.

**_I didn't want another great-life Beth, so I thought I would make her a bit more lost. More Daryl in the next chapter, I will hopefully update soon._**

**_I'm trying to incorporate aspects of domestic abuse, but I'm actually rather ignorant on it myself (thank God), so I'm using the 'signs of abuse' I taught a group of 7 year olds at a primary school. So like keeping money, hitting and emotional abuse (etc.)- if there's anything you feel I'm missing do tell me!_**

**_Tell me what you think, or any suggestions?_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Wooo! So we shall move across to more of a Daryl focus now? What is that dear children!? Ok, ok stop clapping with excitement. Geesh aren't you lively today!?_**

Daryl rolled over to the sound of his phone beeping. He groaned loudly, the cream sheets wrapping round him as he rolled to shut it up. Clicking 'end call' to his father, his head connected heavily with the pillow. It still smelt of cheap perfume from the blonde he picked up at a bar after the disaster of the family barbeque. There must be an irony to the fact he had to drop off his sober father to then drown his own sorrows at the bar. He had to stop this behaviour. But on the bright side, if he didn't' stop, his liver would be useless to his father when his own gave in at the end of teetotal day. One more thing Merle couldn't force Daryl to give. That made a grand list of one.

Great, now he was too angry to sleep anymore. So instead he lay there staring at the ceiling, he heard the apartment door open and close. He yawned, lazily getting out of bed. Leaving him room in his pyjama bottoms, Daryl was instantly run into. He stumbled, holding on to the wall, smiling at the small girl wrapped around his waist.

''Uncle Daryl, look I got my first big tooth!'' Sophia smiled a goofy grin at him, showing all her small teeth. Daryl chuckled, patting her back. Sophia was nearly seven now, God, that made him feel old. Her hair was short and still wet from a morning shower, flicking water on the floor making it slippy.

''Did the tooth fairy come fer you?'' he couldn't help laugh at her continuous chatter, slowly moving her to the kitchen, where her mum was fiddling with the stove.

''Good Morning, Pookie. Mind if I make some breakfast?'' Carol smiled at him, she came over to give him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Since the divorce, Carol spent odd days of the week at his-whenever Sophia wasn't around and she felt too lonely. The majority of the time he would be in and they'd have wine and talk, or watch the news. If he wasn't, she would do his dishes or laundry, feeling better about caring for someone. He didn't mind so much, carol knew everything about him, his underwear was hardly going to matter. She was the only friend he really had. And every Saturday morning she would bring Sophia round for cartoons and pancakes, it was something he looked forward to all week.

''As if you weren't already heating up a pan.'' He smirked at her, she lightly laughed back at him, shooing him round to the other side of the counter. He leant against the wall, feeling the coolness press against his naked back. He hated people looking at it, but carol and Sophia was family, they accepted him as he was. They fell into banter, quickly summarising the last few days.

''Uh!'' he groaned, when she asked him about the barbeque. He gratefully took the mug of black coffee from the counter, swallowing it down.

''That bad, huh?'' she gave him a sad smile, shaking her head. ''Jack is an arsehole, don't let him get to you- it's what two months before Merles out?'' She gave him a comforting hand squeeze before turning back around. Merle wasn't going to do shit for either of them when he was out, but I was defeatist to say because carol knew that.

Besides, his anger at his father was expected, and as usual totally justified. It made it easier to hate him when he remembered there was a reason. As a kid, a monopoly of mind games from hi dad made him feel deserving of what he got. He didn't deserve it, carol was right, he was just an arsehole. It was that blonde girl that made him pause, something stuck in his mind. It wasn't his business, and his damn conscience should remember that.

Daryl helped Carol carry the plates and drinks, settling himself on the floor. They ate quietly watching cartoons. It's easy to pretend things are normal in days like this, like this was what he always had. But each week became more and more about living for the next Saturday, where he could breathe and stretch his wings. It was the only day he allowed himself to think, 'I want this myself', when looking at Sophia and her mum.

When it came to tidying away they all pitched in, Daryl smearing bubbles on Sophia's nose, then looking around like it wasn't him. Carol would 'tut' but grin at their antics, sure this would take twice as long, but her babies needed playtime too. Daryl was an accidental friendship, he knew her husband through work, and they saw each other in passing a few times. The day came when he found Ed hitting her across the cheek at the shop, Daryl had seen red, beat him up. He made her feel human, helped her contact people to go see and watched Sophia when she went for counselling or court dates. And that little girl loved him, she begged to see him all the time, after the divorce was through. Carol couldn't not give in, and Daryl seemed just as eager. So ice-cream shops and arcade games turned to these easier Saturday mornings, and this had easily turned to mutual best-friendship.

''Hey, Pookie, who's Andy?'' Daryl looked across at her, letting go of tickling Sophia, he was perplexed. Carol held up a napkin with a scrawled note and red lipstick stain. His blush told her everything she needed to know, and he only got redder when she winked at him.

''She a keeper?'' She wanted to sound casual, but in reality she was desperate for him to find someone and stop being so defensive around girls. It was obvious that it wasn't since he didn't remember her name, but to reinforce the point he screwed the note up pushing it in the bin. She couldn't leave it there, so she started a teasing song of 'Daryl and Andy sitting in a tree', which Sophia joined in with. He feigned annoyance, shaking his head at them.

The house was always too quiet when they left, too big and cold. Time and time again Daryl thought about making the place look more lived in, it might comfort him some. But he had no cute family pictures on the wall, because there weren't any from his past. He didn't own much, and what he did had practical purpose. It was hard to attach to things, even if that thing was only a lamp.

The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. His mind raced to Carol, she probably left Sophia's coat here again, and would ask him to keep it safe until she swung by next. But the answer was from a stranger.

''Hello, is this a mister Daryl Dixon?'' once he confirmed the speaker continued, ''great. My name's Hershel, I'm a friend of your father's. He told me you might be interested in helping me fix my old barn up in the week, said you were handy with tools. Now, I will pay you what I can afford, but I'll be straight with you it won't be much- '' his voice broke off, letting Daryl take in the information. Somewhere in the distance the man was having a hushed conversation, ''I'm sorry that was my wife she says she'll make you a pie if you do it, it's in a dire state and we need it set up 'fore winter.''

The man sounded honest, and obviously had a family to care for. It didn't matter if this was his father's doing for popularity points, Daryl wasn't the kind of man that turned down the desperate offer of a homemade pie. He agreed to the man, telling him Tuesday was the best day for him, since he hadn't got any cars booked in the shop yet. They exchanged pleasantries and details, Daryl noting down without much thought.

He was watching some heist film later on, take-away box on his knee and beer in his hand. Daryl liked to comment on the stupidity of characters actions, pointing out mistakes and plot holes. Then it hit him. His father didn't have any friends.

That meant that guy on the phone was either from the bar or from AA. Greene farm, Greene farm- ah! That blonde girl said she was raised on a farm. Her daddy would've known his, and how many alcoholic farmers could there be in this town?

It turns out his thinking was proven right, but she wasn't around. However, there were many family photographs of her in lace dresses and boots, her hair like sunshine and smile like nothing else. The next clue was her elderly doppelganger in the kitchen, who greeted him with a tight hug. Personal space invasion was something Daryl hated, but the woman seemed used to hugging unwilling participants. The family were overly nice, and even if he didn't know they had had their share of past issues, it reeked form the way they carefully spoke to one another.

The brunette with short hair was sat at the table, hugging coffee and probably a hangover. Glitter still stuck to her cheeks and smudged mascara under her heavily lidded eyes. Daryl watched her nearly doze off a few times and he waited for Herschel to make with the tools they would need.

The farm itself was pretty, but falling into disrepair. He suspected a neglect of love on their part, rather than the natural passage of time. Inside was homely and suffocating, filled with all the stuff he needed in his own empty apartment. School pictures hanging on the wall, lost toys on the tops of shelves and small shoes still in the closet. It was lost in time. The most he had was a drawing Sophia had made him on the fridge for his birthday, but the look of their fridge made him think Herschel had kept every picture they had even done him.

The door opened, Daryl propped himself up, looking more assertive for when Herschel came back. Instead a small slip of a girl passed by him.

Beth Greene was totally unrecognisable from the jean and hoodie wearing girl he met. Here she stood her long blonde hair shining out against her pale skin, her tiny frame was hugged by a long-sleeved summer dress, cutting mid-thigh. She wore too much make-up and the heels must have killed her feet with their height. Her beauty was intimidating, her face frowning already.

Annette pulled her into a reluctant hug, and Maggie only filled up her cup and removed herself from the situation. Wise choice. He saw her glare at her little sister a moment, and sneer at how easily their mother was taken over. He couldn't help but agree as Hershel joined in the hug, asking how his sunshine was. Her act was impressive, but cold, there was no heart there. None at all.

When was the last time, she showed them what she really felt?

Feeling his eyes on her back she spun around, eyes widening at him. Her father spoke behind her, unable to see her glare of 'oh it's you', he explained the predicament. Daryl wasn't sure how to play this, but he didn't have to.

Beth walked over, tilted her head slightly and gave him a cold smile, offering out her hand.

''how pleasant it is to meet you, I'm Beth Greene.''

And indeed she was the perfect southern belle. A polished little doll, so filled with imperfections it had boiled over to a man she didn't know. Now that man wanted to see how far she could run from the truth in those heels.

**_I had to literally take a break from this because I am so lame that I started laughing at 'wait, his father had no friends'- I should go out more._**

**_Hope you enjoyed xxx (makes comment subtly promoting you to review) _**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I think I'm in the appropriate mood for a confrontational chapter! Which is probably the only good thing about being upset!**

**Hope you enjoy my constructive frustrations! xxx**

**I actually like this chapter- I feel it went well.**

Daryl smirked, so this was the game she wanted to play. He stood up straight, taking her hand and shaking it.

''Daryl Dixon, helping yer daddy out.'' He gave her a slight wink, before brushing past her, grabbing Herschel's tool box and walking outside. He knew exactly what she was doing, hiding behind that façade of sundry happiness, pieced together by memories of the past. He walked over to the barn, leaving Herschel to greet his daughter properly, but his mind still trialled off to the blonde mystery. The makeup hid her well, let her put on this aloofness, that's what Maggie hated. He agreed with Maggie. But he was all too used to knowing that feeling of not wanting to be a disappointment. If Beth Greene didn't smile, she wasn't being Beth Greene. But when Beth Greene smiled she was lying.

Beth huffed under her breath, who did he think he was? She felt he was forcing himself into her life, giving his number and now just turning up on the farm like he lived here. She couldn't help but take it personally. Well too bad, she didn't need him. She didn't need anybody, not really. Beth Greene started lying about people years ago.

The truth was she had a list of people she loved. And a shorter list of who she didn't mind being around, and this list, it got shorter year by year. It doesn't matter how you feel, it only matter how you look. Ignoring the undeniable urge to take something, smoke something or drink something, Beth turned to her parents. The smile didn't even flicker as she poured her mama a glass of lemonade and seamlessly offered to take over the baking- 'you do too much, you should be restin' like the doctor said.' Her father smiled, kissed her forehead and left.

Her apron was still there on the hook, prize place next to her mothers. When she was younger Herschel put it there as a treat, Beth had always loved baking with her mother. She rarely got to do much nowadays. Occasionally she would do fancy dinners for Zach. But fancy dinners had fancy price tags, and he was a simple man who liked simple food. It was simple. But under the façade of helping out, Beth tied on her apron, and started small talking with her mother. Lies, all lies- not now head, I'm talking to my mother.

Daryl and Herschel were out in the barn all morning working up a sweat. The heavy lifting was mostly done by Daryl, Herschel had a prosthetic leg from an accident some ten years ago, and besides he was an aging man. Daryl was used to the labour, and was a junkie for the pain and satisfaction that a project brought. Once he fixed up Merles old triumph after a motorcycle crash. Took nearly a year of lazy Sunday afternoons, but Merle was speechless for a whole two minutes when he saw it done.

The barn wasn't in too bad of a shape really. It needed reinforcing here and there. The rafters needed new planks to stand on for the hay loft, and a few holes needed patching up so the animals couldn't get out, and the cold couldn't get in. After that a good sweep, spit and polish.

By noon they heard the approach of Hershel's eldest son Shawn, he apologised about being late. His wife was expecting their first child, and he found it hard to drag himself away when he could feel it kick. Shawn was around Daryl's height, lithely built like Beth. He had the same softness and he did in his childhood photographs, but there was a hardness around him from years of putting up with crap.

He put down a tray of lemonade, which they both accepted readily.

''You'll never guess who's dancing round the kitchen singing to Doris Day.'' He smirked at his father, patting him on the back lovingly.

''Bethy's dancin'?'' Herschel looked up in dazed disbelief, he laughed to himself. Shawn joined in the guffaw.

''Singin' too, I ain't lying. Maybe she finally turned a corner.'' He smiled at his father, whon looked like a load had been lifted. Daryl felt like he was intruding on a special moment of hope for them both. He felt awkward stood there thinking 'that corner ain't been passed', when these men clung so readily to any sign of normality. So he went back to work.

The kitchen at the farm was still a little slice of heaven. After everything that passed being here with her mother felt like she was 13 again- the music, the laughing, the smell of fresh pie. The happiness cuts more than the sadness. Reminds you of what you had, you could have had, still could have. If only you hadn't done what you did. She shook her head, spinning her mama under her arm, sining out the words.

Maggie's head popped round the door. Her face was unbeknownst to Beth, who wasn't paying attention, and one of surprised reminiscence. She missed the days she'd come down to shout at them for doing this on a Saturday when she was still sleeping. She missed hating Beth for the things she'd love Beth to do now. But this woman, wasn't her innocent sister, and she hated how no one else could see that.

Her mother caught her eye, offered out a hand. No matter how badly she wanted to take it, dance along and pretend it was alright, the child inside her won out.

Twenty minutes later the news was shattered to Herschel. Screams could be heard from inside the barn, but the voices got closer. They went outside to check out what was happening. Beth was storming away from the porch, and Maggie was having none of it.

''just let me go! I don't wanna fight you- your breakin' momma's heart!'' she tugged her arm away from Maggie, cradling it close. Beth's voice was pleading, tired of confrontation. Her eyes shifted to Annette, who held a tissue to her heart.

''All you ever do is run, Beth. You not tired? Tired of running from being a whore-''Maggie's voice was just as quick to play dirty, not letting Beth back down.

''Says the biggest slut of high school?'' Shawn had to cover his mouth to stop a cry of amusement and shock, at Beth's brazenness, obviously she didn't usually stay around to give the dirt back. Maggie looked shocked for a moment, then her lip curled. This was obviously going to be the clincher.

''At least I didn't drug and drink my own- Shawn get off me!'' whatever Maggie was going to say was stopped forcefully by her brothers hand over her mouth. Beth ended the sentence in her own head, her eyes brimming with stabbing tears. Maggie's heart broke a little bit, her shoulders dropped.

''That's enough! We have company, and Maggie, you made your mother cry.'' Herschel went over to hug his wife, gently asking her questions, and leading her back to kitchen. Shawn was having a serious conversation with Maggie who looked disappointed in herself like a child in the wrong. No-one noticed Daryl slip away.

She groaned at his shadow, not even opening her long lashed eyes to look at him. He was impressed, he expected to come over here finding her crying. He simply sat down in the grass beside her, picking the grass and twiddling it around. He wasn't the type to bother himself with peoples mess, but this girl needed someone up in it, and the rest were too ignorant to take the dive.

''How did you find me?'' she grumbled, rolling over to her belly to look at his face. There was still a childish curiosity in her big blue eyes. His stomach twisted the make-up really was too much. Then he realised looking closely, it wasn't there to hide behind, it was there to hide that hideous bruise. Don't look too close, and you don't see the fractures in the china cup.

''You told me where you go when you're havin' a strop, remember.'' He took out a cigarette, taking a long drag. Hell, did he need that. The field was just as she said, long tickly grass and right by the wood. She hadn't been hard to spot, lying there, her blonde hair fanning out around her.

''Worst decision I ever made,'' she murmured to herself, taking a calming breath. She ignored all the other 'worsts' of her life. Thoughts flickering to the lonely sanctuary she could have at home. She could sneak up to the main floor bathroom, and steal some of Maggie's weed, then bake for a while on the sofa back in that house. Better than thinking. Zach would be out at his friends watching the game, only to pass out and wake up in the morning covered in his own vomit. She wrinkled her nose at the thought.

''Yer pa's worried about you at least. Brother is too, I bet my bottom dollar that Magg-'' he felt the need to justify something. Wanted to know if she cared, or if she was past that point of saving now. If she was he'd just double his efforts. Did she even see how hard they were trying to reach her still?

''I don't care what you bet. Let me guess, daddy told you I was 'sick'. Wasn't calling addicts sick when he was boozed up to the eyeballs though was he? No, the one person who should understand thinks I'm a whore and a junkie.'' Her voice shot back, not missing a beat. He finished his cigarette and rubbed it to the ground.

Whereas Maggie and Shawn had an inbuilt fire to dealing, much like Herschel. Beth was all poor Annette, who willingly believed in the good of everything and let herself be ignorant to the hardships so she didn't break. Annette didn't have the fire to cope. But Beth had been exposed to truth, and hurt and she wasn't born to be a fighter. Yes, she could show the Greene fire, but it was all an act. Deep down, Beth was sitting in a corner crying to be set free.

He took her arm, pushing the sleeves up, tracing the lines of abuse and drugs. Her arm pulled away, unused to gentle touches, anyone seeing. The reliance on others blindness was being torn to shreds.

''Why?'' it could have been unheard, dismissed. She could have left him there waiting on an answer until the day he died. And when he turned over in his grave, she still wouldn't tell. He deserved nothing less.

''If I pretend it's alright, one day it will be.'' Her voice grew softer. She hated this feeling of giving him something to play with, she didn't want to be pieced together by him. He already let himself in, she didn't have to tell him anything. But the truth had slipped out.

Beth was the face of innocence, the body of an adult and a mind of too many years. The complications of her character were created to keep people out, but it trapped the wrong ones in.

''That day won't come.'' The truth stung like salt on a fresh wound, it did its job.

''What the fuck do you know?'' She spat back at him, her voice full of forced venom. She wanted out, she wanted him to leave. He was playing with the sharp balance of reality she had, this was something she had to take. She started to walk away, expecting a hurtful comment to the wind. She could brush it off, fix her make-up and drive home to the empty house.

Instead he grabbed her arm, pulled her down and straddled her, wrapping a hand around her throat, lightly squeezing. Beth didn't brace, she didn't struggle and although she looked surprised, and her body didn't even flinch.

''Enough to know you ain't fightin' it anymore, that you're giving it away.'' He whispered it in his ear, his voice dripping with sad truth. Daryl leant in closer, she could feel his tickling breath on her lips, just like every night since she was 15. The ignorance of her understanding was plain of her face. ''This ain't love. Love shouldn't hurt you like this- he, shouldn't hurt you like this.''

And he saw her face drop. And for the first time in years you could see Beth Greene properly. Not the dolled-up southern belle, or the hooded reminiscent, or the defensive fireball. But lying there weak of giving. Tousled hair, red eyes and oh, so pretty still. She could break a man's heart in one hit, because she had no more heart left to give.

Her request hung out, he took her hand, leading her there.

''Show me.''

** I hope this was alright! And we got a bit more characterisation down! Sorry about any mistakes.**

**And remember a review a day keeps the doctor away. xxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**_So here we are! I'm so happy this is finally done! I was having a rough time yesterday, hence why I didn't update. Although, I feel like I'm not too bad at the whole writing and updating thing as a whole- at least I hope not! I made cupcakes yesterday instead though...sorry guys...this is your treat xxxx_**

Beth woke up the next morning in a different bed, been a while since that happened. She stretched and groaned, she was in her underwear. The rest of the bed was empty, so she sat up. It was so stark and naked. How did anyone live here, it felt totally untenanted. She half expected to roll over to see little motel notebooks on the sideboard. Then she'd dress, and have to flirt her way out of the bill- yeah, that had happened a couple of times. The sheets were all pulled up around her, but for once she didn't wake up stinging all over. She wanted so desperately to wrap herself upon in this cocoon of softness and warmth, happy to be away from people for another twenty hours undisturbed peace. But that wasn't her life.

As she got to her feet she noticed her reflection in the mirror-yikes. Rubbing away excess mascara and pinching her cheeks a little, she looked around for something to wear until she found her dress, which some sixth sense was telling her was in the living room. She slung on a pyjama shirt that looked like it had never been worn, but the matching bottoms were missing, and that had to be a good sign. He wouldn't be found naked. Yeah, again that had happened on occasion.

The cold hallway lead her to the kitchen, she leaned in the frame watching him fiddle around the kitchen. He swore periodically to the stove, and then the fridge- when he caught his toe on the counter, he swore at that too. He caught her snigger, and looked up to see her watching him.

''You're doing that wrong- if its omelettes you're making?'' Her voice sounded way more confident than she felt, which was very little at all. She went with her front of bravery and marched over, taking the whisk out his hand. Whereas Carol went free-reign on what he owned, Beth had a bit more trepidation. He could sense her trying not to waste anything, and she asked about everything she did use, sometimes twice.

He tried not to watch her eyes light up, or more importantly his shirt ride up on her pale legs. They perfect until the top where they were dotted with bruises and cuts, he told himself that's what he was looking at. Not the soft curve on her hips, or the flash of pale silky underwear. Her lips looked practically kissable as she swallowed some aspirin- no, don't think about that. She had handed Daryl a plate and was busy cooking the other omelette, when the door opened.

''Pookie, I just came to get coffee.'' Carol walked in holding a travel mug, her face slackened from smile to surprise. Daryl looked over his shoulder, mouth full of food. He waved a hand.

Carol stuttered out an apology, taking in the small blonde wearing his shirt. She was pretty, and blonde, which was his type. She had always theorised that he went for girls that looked like they weren't sticking around. But this one, she was on the fence. The girl looked back at her with equally curious eyes, lips slightly pursed. When the girl went back to her cooking, Carol mouthed a quick 'Andy?' at Daryl, who quickly shook his head.

''Did you want any?'' The girl's voice was soft. Huh, a cute girl. Usually Daryl's women had that sexual purr in everything they said. Carol denied her offer, whilst Beth filled her mug with coffee. This was awkward. The girl was dressed like a cheap lay, her blonde hair tousled, make-up smudged and lace underwear on show. But paradoxically she had wide eyes, an honest smile and she was making food. Perhaps he had finally found someone serious. It all depended on that omelette. She leant over and took the next bite off Daryl's fork, to which she got a 'you just said no' protest from him. Damn, that was good.

Finishing off the next bite ('get yer own, woman!'), Carol took her mug, nodded silent thanks and goodbye. When she was out of the apartment, she looked back. Yup, definitely the right place. Ignoring the feeling of being Alice falling back out the rabbit hole. She wondered absently what possible could have forced them together, I mean, Daryl didn't breakfast with anyone. He barely breakfasted with himself.

''Carol.'' Daryl spoke afterwards, muttering into the silence. Beth refilled his mug. ''She's a close friend.'' He took a small sip. Beth mirrored him, letting out a small hum of satisfaction

''So, you sleep together or-?''

''No! no, no. no. '' His fork made a loud noise as he dropped it, gesticulating with everything he had. Beth for her part just smiled, trying to contain a small laugh of mirth. She imagined it must be a proper friendship if he couldn't contemplate sleeping with her. A 'close' friend. Close. As if reading her thoughts needed to be clarified he continued, ''only ever been friends.'' He obvious was content with the way things were, and they looked comfortable. Is that the kind of friendship people had when you rusted them. The nearest things she had to friends were Zach, the pervert at the coffee shop and the lady whose baby she watched.

Beth leaving

Daryl

Last night

He couldn't lie and say he wasn't a little glad to see his apartment free of people. But that was mostly the part of him that wanted to push everyone away and lock the door. He smiled a little though, it had been fun.

They started out in the living room. And honestly it was awkward for all of two minutes, they soon fit into an ease of watching television. She hogged the remote, flicking on to some trashy shows. He could tell she was doing it because she wanted the control, so he learnt all about Tamara and Gretchen's new best friendship instead.

This weird comfort turned into her leaning her head on his lap, and they bitchily started arguing about any topic that came to mind. He heard her laugh, and it made him laugh. Particularly, after several 'you can't be serious' and 'you sound like a clown'. He offered her peach schnapps of Carol's, and she took a glass of whiskey.

Somehow they had the fallen into an argument about the price of houses in this town, he was complaining about how he had paid too much for this place. Living in the city would be more, but you paid to live somewhere close to all amenities. This place had nothing, just a high street of self-owned stores and a few farms enclosing them together. Surprisingly she had gone into a rant about how the small town prices were increasing with inflation and explained how everyone wanted out of towns. Turns out Beth was kind of a money expert.

And that is how they ended up playing monopoly. On the floor, drinking the schnapps after all. Her voice got lighter and less tense, there was total belief in him. And it had been a long time since he had so much fun with anyone new, particularly not swearing over a board game.

She had giggled when he stood her up, someone wasn't going to make it home tonight. So he helped her stumble into is room, and then left. There was no way he was helping her removed any clothes, she'd find the bed, and if not the floor would probably do. She was going to be out cold.

He moved to his bedroom, fresh from the shower. Leaning in the door way he smirked at the unmade bed. It was the only sign he had that she had ever really been here. Tonight the pillows would smell like her rather than Andy or cheap fabric softener, and he could live with that. Walking to the draws, he saw a small note with number and loopy letters.

Call me for monopoly advice, Beth xxx

**_I would appreciate it if you would review xxx _**

**_The next chapter will be up in a few hours after I finish the middly-bit that's taking so long…_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_This is so hard because I wrote this chapter first, and then had to majorly back-peddle to do the previous one! After this I really want to go back to Daryl and Beth together, but there's still some groundwork that I needed to get down._**

No-one ever tells you that it will be easy. They will lie and say that it will get better, that you will be happy, that it's just a phase and it will pass. But lying about the difficulty of such thing? No, that, for some inexplicable reason, is below the line. So, you tell someone, as Beth did Daryl. And you open up everything you ever thought perhaps, to yourself. Maybe not out loud, but you acknowledge it. Every bad thing you've done, when problems started and how different it might be if you had known. Had she known that those pills of 'love' would lead her to the next man who told her fake accounts of affection, and passed her to the next? As a child, you would never realise that your biggest attribute, the ability to love, could be sold. But Beth knew it now, and when all else was invaluable…It's not something to judge her for, and she would never call it anything than desperate.

It had started as a fairy tale, and ended like a nightmare.

Beth Greene was eighteen years old. And she had nowhere to go, her family was crumbling around her, so she had left. She wasn't the type to watch things burn slowly, no, she'd rather die than see any resemblance of her old life crushed. Three years ago she had it all, potential for college and a fresh outlook of optimistic youth. Then there had been parties and drink and drugs that made her heart race. For the first time she hit that impeccable high of running through the grassy fields barefoot in summer- without having to see it all fall. The dizziness didn't let her fall, and if it did she could buy more, find more, and take more. Then she could fly again, on impenetrable metal wings.

She had her smile, fuelled by the lightheaded feeling. Making men fall for her. And she was needed again and wanted, and for a few hours they had their own family. But he day came where she realised you couldn't live off friends sofa's, not even her sister let her stay at her dorm in Atlanta anymore. And she was homeless.

People like Beth shouldn't be homeless, they should be cared and sheltered. She was like a kitten fighting for it in a dog eat dog world.

Once upon a time, there was a princess named Beth. Only she didn't know she was a princess, so she sold what she had twice. Not all the way, some dignity retained, but she still couldn't feel clean again. Winter was approaching and the fear of either doing it again or going home panicked her. The princess was a beautiful child, her golden flaxen hair was kept shiny and new, her makeup perfect with free samples. Standing in the gym showers, it could almost feel normal, but harbouring warmth wouldn't matter if it snowed. The world was yours, if you were a princess. People want to believe you've forgotten your purse and pay for your coffee, they don't believe you took those things from their store. You are beautiful, and so you are flawless.

Jimmy, the prince found her. She knew him vaguely from high school, would probably have dated him. Only, she hadn't stayed ion that path, she went down the rebel route without knowing it. Princesses aren't meant to rebel, their conformity and stereotype protects them. Maybe that's why there isn't a happily ever after to this tale.

He took her dinner, 'catching up' he said it was. She evaded too many questions, lying smoothly. But the prince was open and young and honest. He paid for her meal, and kissed her chastely. Beth could almost remember this being what a date was. No quick rush, dirty dancing and a dirtier night. Jimmy led her home, to an apartment block she said she lived at. She waved him away and went back to spot at the local dive. They knew her well enough to let her sleep on the bar, most nights she would double their income with fancy cocktails from strange men.

The prince came back to the park where they had met, there she was again reading on the bench. Her pale legs up next to her, her rucksack near her feet. It was her chain, the reminder that all she had was nothing. He wined and dined her, even took her to salsa in the week. She thought she was in love with his kindness. She wasn't in love at all, just craved the gentle attention and feeling human again. When she gave it all to him, he gave it all back. It felt natural and it felt right. Together they were swept up in a world wind romance. She missed Jimmy, the months she spent with him in motel rooms. Sometimes they'd just laugh and talk about nothing, she would make them meals and kiss his neck because she wanted to.

Right now our Beth in sitting at home. Everything had been polished and her head rests heavily against the wall. All these memories won't do any good. She had Zach now. There's nothing to do, the plants are watered and everything is clean. Wednesdays are the day that Zach works nights, it's why he drinks on Tuesdays. Soon he will come in, change his clothes and go out again. As much as she liked not having him around, she missed having someone there. It was 10 am. These days usually blurred into one, a long day of loneliness. Yesterday she had escaped, gone to her father, and then gone to Daryl. Shit. Zach would know. Even if they hadn't done anything, he'd be able to tell.

She braced herself when he came in. there were no accusatory looks, no screaming 'you whore'. He didn't even know she'd slept at another man's house. He waltzed in still groggy, saw her sitting on the floor and made an attempt to care. She brushed off slurred words, letting him pull her up into a hug. She smiled like a dutiful doll and he patted her bottom affectionately. There, all better. Remember who you belong to Beth.

She kissed him then. And he smiled, taking her in. It had been months since she did anything to start their intimacy. Finally, she was kissing him. She loved him, he thought. But it was guilt.

When he left she went back to thinking about Jimmy, sliding down the wall to her old space. From here no one could really see her, and the kitchen looked like home if you squinted enough.

She missed the dancing more than anything else. At the high end places, where he would hold her close and say that she was beautiful. So yes, he paid for her company. Without being told he would slip her twenties and always pay for the outings. But no one had looked in her eyes the way he looked at her, they had a massive shot to make this work. They would grow old together, walking in the park. And she would build her life with him in the way that her parents had tried for her, but she would make it work.

Half an hour later, alone again, the doorbell rang. Beth opened the door the Lori, practically her only female companion. And she didn't even like her that much. This was a busy day after all. Over a cup of coffee, Lori trivially gossiped about other people that Beth didn't know too well. Carl was at school and Judith was balanced on her hip. The small child reached out chubby hands to Beth, who made faces at her, whilst humming in acknowledgement with Lori. It took her twenty minutes to get to the point.

''I'm meeting friends for coffee in the city, but Judy has been peaky- would you mind-?'' She offered Beth the baby, and it took all she had not to snatch her up. Holding Judy, who giggled, she rocked her gently. This was the reason she was nice to Lori, who she suspected had few real friends at all, even less so since the thinly veiled ''meeting of friends'' happened.

Rick, her husband, was the type of man to stand by his children. Beth suspected 'meeting with friends' was an excuse he got a lot of as well, was he as sick of it as she was? And did he actually consciously think about the affair his wife was having with-wait for the drama- Shane. Ricks best friend. She wasn't even subtle about it anymore, coming in with love bites and pricking up when she heard his name.

He was a police man, heck they were both police men. But Rick was an integral police man, a sheriff with honour and the right attitude. It would be a lie to say Beth didn't have a slight crush on Lori's family, and it annoyed her that the woman risked everything for lust. Real love was their little boy and girl. Carl was at school, and despite the occasional tantrum, he always behaved for Beth. But Judith had her heart, the little girl loved curling her fists into Beth's hair and falling asleep on her shoulder. Beth would sing to her and tickle her and play even Mozart. Better yet, Lori would pay her for babysitting, understanding that Beth sometimes needed a bit extra for groceries and supplies.

Judith had a wide smile, which Beth couldn't help but smile back at. The kind of unrequited love of a child. Judith could be anything, she could have been anything. She sighed, at least she was a warning to the little girl. Washing up the coffee cups is harder when there's a child on your hip, but the kid was stubborn and refused to be settled down. She spoke out loud to Judith, sometimes. About what they were going to do, about her life and sometimes even about what Zach did. It always felt like he would know, this sense of paranoia that if she spoke out loud about what he did then- she didn't even know. Something would happen, she guessed. That's lame, you're scared because you don't know how he'd react.

Today her and Judy spent time singing rhymes together and baking cakes for the neighbourhood kids after school. If she sold them right she could earn a few dollars. Judy likes to pat the flour, making little clouds on the worktop. Beth kept an eye of her, making sure she didn't fall. When she first started looking after her, Beth treated Judy like glass, so scared of breaking her. She soon learnt kids are resilient and cause more harm to themselves struggle for freedom, than when they have it. It was the kind of responsibility that Beth didn't have for any other aspect of her life. Judy was her job, that and looking after Zach. If he let her work they could do so much more, but Zach had to 'look after his own woman'.

Occasionally when holding Judy, she would pretend it was her own. She wanted to be a mother, but not with Zach. If he did something, she wouldn't be able to keep it together. It was stupid anyway, she was messed up enough herself and she couldn't imagine any man she could have as her Rick. Except for Jimmy. Honestly, there had been a time she believed he would be the father of her children, they'd have a normal marriage and a little house on the edge of the ton they grew up in. it would be their happily ever after.

But there was a problem, Jimmy had already unbeknownst to Beth found his happily ever after- with his wife.

**_ Hope you enjoyed! Please review for my undying love!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_I'm admittedly loving the Carol and Daryl relationship dynamic (if I do say so myself), and yeah I'm selfish so I'm exploring it :D enjoy!_**

Daryl got to work with a sharp questioning of why he was an hour late. He shrugged off the question and gave T-dog a wink. Rolling their eyes the guys got to work fixing up the cars. The place was messy and cold, but the guys always had fun teasing each other. It was what made Daryl not want to find a 'real' job as his perpetually unemployed father would say. There was a time Daryl would have been contented to run off and live in the woods. But reality hits you down real fast when you realise squirrel loses its appeal after a week or so.

He still spent summer up in his grandfather's old cabin. It was only an hour away but it was so isolated you felt you were on the moon.

''You workin' on Chinese take-out tonight?'' Daryl called across to the other side of the car they were fixing. His mind went back to the omelette, if that wasn't reason to not beat a girl he didn't know what was.

''It's a pizza place, for the final time I'm Korean- and no. Make your own food Dixon.'' Glenn got childish, which was the main reason he was picked on the most. Damn squeamish too. Once the guys put a plastic spider on his car seat. The screaming had brought the manager in, who tried to reprimand the others though a laughing fit.

''Whatever.'' Daryl rolled his eyes. He was making his own food then, he'd stop by the supermarket later and pick something up. The manager was a dick though. The kind of prejudiced man who hated Daryl for his father stealing his girlfriend some thirty years ago.

At the end of his shift Daryl got into the car. He had to nip back round to Greene farm, to say sorry to Herschel and collect the money he earned. Not that he really deserved it anymore. The place looked exactly the same as it had before, no reason it shouldn't really. But it was nice to know Maggie hadn't actually exploded.

She definitely hadn't when she opened the door. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously but she let him in calling her father and walking away. The Greene girls had good asses. Daryl made sure he wasn't looking as Herschel came down the stairs. Surprisingly, he smiled and pulled Daryl into a hug. Daryl pulled back, but Hershel just patted his hand gruffly on his shoulder.

''Sorry about all that yesterday.'' He nodded to the upstairs where he had just come from, ''Annette's in bed, she's getting too frail for the shock of family life. I'm sure you understand.'' Something told Daryl that Herschel saw through his father's easy AA lies. He walked them to the kitchen, handing a boxed pie and an envelope. Damn, the man knew he was going to come back.

''I don't know how well you know my daughter, Daryl, but she made a fair few bad decisions. I admit I blame myself for pushing her away during my alcoholism, but this –woman- she ain't who she is'' Daryl totally understood, Beth was a kind soul wrapped in a self-made cocoon of hatred for the world. There was no reason for her to trust people they never gave her reason to.

''As much as its worth, sir, I think she's just perfect.'' He didn't know why he said it, but the man had to let go of old Beth and accept the new. Herschel looked into Daryl's eyes, giving him that look fathers give when talking about their most valuable possession.

''If you see her, tell her to come back soon. Not, for us, she can ignore us- we deserve it. But my wife-'' Daryl cut him off with a sharp nod, taking the money and box of pie. He said his goodbye and got into his truck.

Being here made him think about the young blonde. Having thought about it all day, he finally texted Beth, he was smart enough to sound innocent as possible. 'Hey Beth. Just letting you know your father's barn is fixed, it's all in working order if you want to visit. Daryl'. There, that sounded normal, right? Hopefully she would pick up the message and call her dad. He checked the phone every few minutes, it was a good thing he met no other cars on the way to the store.

He called Carol when he got to the super market, he had to balance her on his shoulder as he picked through the vegetables. The fidgeting and checking the phone wasn't going away at all.

''Pookie, didn't expect to hear from you.'' Her voice was light and biting back laughter. Obviously she was casting her thoughts make to what she had seen this morning. He put the apples into his basket.

''Shut up carol.'' His voice was sharp and childish, letting her know he wasn't being that serious at all. He continued picking up odd items, stuffing them non-committedly into the basket.

''How's the little lady?'' This was going to be a fun call. He groaned at the cheeky voice and mentally swore at the fact Carol had to see anything. They hadn't even done anything!

''The little lady is fine, and at home -with her boyfriend.'' He didn't know why he had to clarify this. But it felt wrong to make it sound like anything had happened between them. It hadn't not at all. And you didn't want it too either.

''Oh Pookie, you didn't.'' Her voice got into that conspiratorial girl whisper, it dripped with a disproving disbelief. Great. This call was going to be the reason for his high blood pressure, stress in everyday life. Besides, Carol should know better than that.

''He's a dick. But, wait, no, no we didn't do anything Carol. Just played monopoly-'' he rubbed the bridge of his nose, to other shoppers it looked like this conversation much be on some difficult life decision. They looked at him with thinly veiled curiosity. So he tried to keep his voice quiet as possible, especially after a small child looked up at him when he said the word 'dick'.

''Is that the new name for it?'' Carol started laughing again, probably making people around her look at her in startled fright. Carol wasn't one to laugh quietly or half-heatedly. But with reckless abandon.

''Carol…look I have a serious question to ask,'' Daryl stopped, looking at a packet. His voice was softer than its usual growl and serious. Instantly carol stopped laughing.

''Yes Pookie?'' she sounded bright still, but much more subdued. At least you could believe she was a mother now, not a giggling teenager.

''What's stroganoff? And when you comin' over next?'' he heard Carol sigh loudly in disbelief at his trickery, his attempts to move the conversation were going to be short lived. Still she muttered out a quick explanation of what the meal was, mostly 'you'll like it'. And then she told him she would swing by tomorrow for wine and catch up. Hearing this Daryl quickly walked to the alcohol isle to replenish the schnapps. That was what he needed to remember.

''So you and this girl?'' Her voice went back to the conspiratorial teenager, but it was edged with grown up curiosity. He couldn't blame her he was acting weird. He couldn't answer to himself why he cared so much about this person

''She's just havin' a tough time of things, being a friend that's all.'' He shook his head, trying to explain what he couldn't even to himself.

''Since when did Daryl Dixon be a friend for the sake of it? You're hiding something.'' she sighed heavily before she continued. ''but you'll do right by her, I mean, you saved me right.'' She voiced exactly what he as thinking, which wasn't the first time. But the poignancy of her grateful deliverance made him realise that Carol had finally gotten over Ed. She had stopped blaming herself, and if she could then maybe, just maybe, Beth could too.

Carol made her goodbyes to pick Sophia up from her dance lessons and Daryl headed out to the checkout. He got in the car, no message from Beth still. Sighing he swung out the supermarket with a realisation that he was headed past the school, he might see Carol anyway. He could make note of what she was wearing and scare her slightly via text. Yeah, they had a strange relationship.

He purposely kept an eye out when he was near to the school, stopping at the traffic lights he glanced out. No carol, but a flash of blonde hair. Beth?

There she was, selling cupcakes to mums and their children. Definitely her blue eyes and definitely her fake smile. Only, she was holding a baby on her hip. A little girl twirling her fingers in Beth's long hair and nuzzling her face into her shoulder. Beth looked down and bounced her happily on her knee, whispering something and kissing her forehead.

How hadn't he seen this? And how the hell didn't she tell him?

And that little girl was happily holding Beth and being protected. A horn blared behind him and he started driving away.

But all he could see in that baby was Sophia.

**_Hope you enjoyed as I always do, anyone with a spare moment could review? xxx_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_So this is a busy chapter, it might be a bit upsetting so please don't read if you're of sensitive mind. Hope you enjoy xx_**

It was the next night, and Carol called out that she was here. She kicked off her shoes in the hallway near the door and mad either way to Daryl. She came into the kitchen and made a face.

''What is that smell?'' she made fake gagging noises and the nauseating smell.

''Yesterday's stroganoff… you were wrong I didn't like it.'' They burst out laughing together. Grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine, Daryl headed to the living room. He sat down on his side of the sofa and waited for carol. Sure enough she came in, witched the television on and lowered the volume. Then she made herself comfortable.

Meanwhile, Beth sat at the table in the house she was entrapped in. She was finishing off her dinner. Zach had told her she was too slow and had left as soon as he had finished to the television to slump on the couch. He hadn't said anything about the spotless house, but he never noticed anyway. She was used to eating alone, or missing meals entirely and still sitting at the table for twenty minutes to keep some form of breakage of doing nothing. Only now, there was something nagging at her.

Damn, that man. She was getting too big for her boots again, thinking she could do better. She was worry about things that needn't be worried about in some desperate attempt to forget this feeling. Had anyone taken the pie out the oven after hers and Maggie's fight? Then she thought about her mother, who was growing weaker by the day. She should visit more. Only she couldn't because of- oh, damn it. All the thoughts were like that. Cyclical, all coming back to her mistakes. No wonder her father hated her. She was like her mother, her birth mother, not Annette who raised her. Joanne Greene was Hershel wife when he started the drink, he was cold and she went and got pregnant with another man's baby. But that didn't matter, Shawn was still her brother. And sometimes Herschel seemed to forget he wasn't his entirely. But that hurt more that he couldn't ignore her faults.

She pushed peas around her plate, non-committedly thinking about eating them at all. Zach's voice called out from the living room, searching for her. She sighed, c'est la vie.

Getting to him, she smiled sweetly. A thick hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her on top of him. She looked up at Zach who only smirked at her. He started pulling her top over her head. And for once those little voices started saying, tell him 'no'. In a sudden panic, she pulled her top back down. He started at her.

''The curtains are open, Zach.'' She tried to justify it, try to calm that fire in his eyes. His hand connected her face before she could hold her hands up. The sharp sound rung in her ears and she couldn't place where the noise was from. Sitting there literally struck dumb, tears started welling in her eyes as the pain hit. Don't cry, she thought. If you cry he wins.

He was watching her, part of his thinking she deserved it. The other part so scared at the look she was giving him. This was more than fear and submission, something had changed. What if she left? No, that couldn't be an option. Why would she go? Another man. The little slut.

He grabbed her hair, tugging it back sharply. She bit out a small whimper of pain. He was yelling out questions, needing to know who she'd slept with. He couldn't even hear himself over rushing ears. Her eyes grew wider and she tried to shake her head, wincing t the pain it caused. Forcing her off the couch and onto her knees, he held her head to look up at him.

''You're going to show me how you love me, Beth. Tell me I'm the only one.'' His voice was low and threatening. She cried out what he wanted to hear, it didn't convince him. So he began tugging down his trousers, loosening the belt. Her eyes widened and she shook her head. So he hit her, then grabbed those strands of blonde hair pulling her back up to her knees. She would obey. She would love him.

Daryl got a second bottle of wine out the fridge, he and Carol were in a giggly mood. Like tow damn teenagers, he thought. She was on the phone ordering Chinese, which Glenn couldn't get him for free. He didn't know why that really pissed him off, but it did. Maybe it was the fact he hadn't eaten a proper meal, since yesterday's disaster. He tallied in his head and laughed, her turn to pay. Free dinner.

They collapsed back on the sofa, sipping refilled glasses and falling back into a discussion about the new perm of Carol's boss.

Beth tried to push him away, her hands on his thighs, forcing distance. She tried to softly tell him everything he could possibly want to know, how she loved him, wasn't going to leave, would give him her if he calmed down. It wasn't working. And then Beth realised something had changed. She had changed, and it was written on her face. The cracks in the glass prison started pouring light in.

He looked at her face, streaming tears. She hadn't cried in a year, not over this. He wanted to hold her, try her eyes and tell her he was sorry. But his fist connected with her shoulder instead. The rage took over and he couldn't tell himself to stop. He needed to stop, he kicked Beth. Please, offer her comfort, he snarled out 'whore' instead. Her eyes and cries weren't enough anymore. He needed screams so he could make her see how much he loved her.

It was suffocating and fucking scary. Pain from everywhere on her body was screaming at her, but still those voices were saying 'fight'. She felt his weight on top of her, and waited for him to pull her clothes off and just do it. Then he'd calm down, fall asleep and she could finish that gin. Instead his hands wrapped around her throat, smoothly apply pressure. That was new.

It was time for a choice, the lack of oxygen left only two thoughts. Fight or submit. When her small hands pressed their nails into the backs of his hand, they shared a look of surprise. And suddenly her knee was in his groin, and he was the one in pain. It felt good, but sickening at the same time. There wasn't time to make a plan, if he got up there was little chance she'd stop him squeezing the life out of her. So she ran to the kitchen, grabbed the ten dollars she had earned looking after Judy, and ran out into the street.

They opened the door for the Chinese, carol was searching for her purse to pay. Daryl looked out to make awkward greeting, but his eyes fell onto a red-eyed Beth. She was dressed in shorts and a vest-top, red bruises already forming around her shoulders and arms. A bright red cheek and purplish tinting to her neck told him how close it had been. Fuck.

The journey here via bus and running had kept her mind focused on the goal. But she realised she had nothing at all to say to him, or if he wanted her here, or if he cared. So she looked at him shocked face and burst into tears. There was an awkward pause. Then she felt his arms around her, tight and warm. So unlike his. She shuddered out a small wail. He carefully slid an arm under her legs, picking her up and taking her in.

He smelt like wood and warmth, his breathing was slow and controlled. He settled her on the sofa, crouching down on the floor between her legs. Softly stroking his hand on her face so she looked at him, his piercing gaze made her sobs slow. They just looked at each other. She flinched in un-expectance at the sharp sting numbing of an icepack being pressed to her face.

Daryl looked up at Carol. They only needed one look to say 'thank you'. Carol was slightly pissed that Daryl hadn't told her this was the girl's problem, I mean, that was something she could definitely identify with. Maybe he thought she couldn't deal with it, or maybe he didn't trust anyone knowing. Whatever the reason, it didn't mean anything. So she turned and went to the kitchen.

He held the icepack to her face for her, letting her winces guide him. She didn't want to talk about it, and he wasn't going to ask. She offered him only one thing.

''I-I-'' her voice was small and raspy, also painful as hell, but she didn't care, ''I fought back.'' She looked into his eyes, and sparkling back was a pride she hadn't gotten in years. She felt like crying again but instead wiped her eyes. She was safe here.

''You sleeping over, princess?'' His voice was soft and full of hurt. Looking at her like this stabbed him, but he was scared she'd see how much it meant to him that she had run here. She meekly smiled, asking if it was ok. He nodded back at her, looking up at the figure in the door.

Carol came back in with mugs of hot chocolate, not sure if she should stay or go. Daryl smiled slightly at her, moving out her way. He saw immediately there were only two mugs in her hand, so he refilled her wine glass. Carol took it and had a large sip, replying to the invitation. They settled back to their places on the couch, pulling a blanket over Beth, who was in the middle.

Half an hour later, Beth's head was rested against carol, who was stroking her hair softly like she did when Sophia was upset. It was so soft and warm, the perfumey smell made Beth drowsy. This could be her own mother. She wasn't crying anymore, the pieces of strength slowly coming back to her.

Daryl came back from collecting the Chinese, and smiled at the sight. After another hour she had managed to sit up, and drink the now cold hot chocolate and have a mouthful or two of chow mein. After two she was fully fledged in the conversation about stroganoff for some random reason.

She went from strength to strength, managing smiles and even a few snotty laughs. Daryl watched her closely, he left only to get the Chinese, and the rest of the time felt too protective to leave.

Eventually Carol said she had to leave, the clock struck twelve. She kissed Beth on the unbruised cheek, and said something soft in her ear. Beth's eyes filled with tears and she nodded, the said something back and they giggled together. Carol then pulled Daryl in for a hug and kiss, patting his arm and giving it a sharp squeeze. This man was amazing, and he didn't even know it.

The settled back on to the sofa, watching the news. He didn't miss her yawning, and smirked to himself. There she was again, being so old and so young at once. The weight of the world on her shoulders had been relieved for a night, he could see it. She was slowly relaxing, no-one would find her here. He offered his hand to her, and she took it squeezing it slightly.

After a while his brain caught up, he looked at her.

''Hey, is the baby alright?'' he wondered if this was going to shock her into realisation. If so, he knew where his shoes were and he wasn't too sacred to march over there and beat the crap out of him. If it wasn't for her needing him here, he would be there already.

''Baby?'' she looked confused, and even looked down at her stomach in questioning.

''I saw you at the school with a kid- figured you were too embarrassed to say anythin', protectin' her or some shit…so yeah, is she ok with him?- I guess'' he was beginning to ramble and only her small finger on his lips made him stop. He looked up, she was smirking slightly, and head tilted trying to work him out.

''Babysittin'.'' It still hurt to talk, but his was clarification that was desperately needed. He was such a great person. Obviously he had his problems and a scary exterior. But that was the opposite of Zach, for some reason his potential power didn't scare her. And that's why she was drawn into him.

After yawning again she was pulled down the hall to his bedroom. Daryl threw a new pyjama top at her, taking the matching bottoms out for himself. He left to go to the living room, taking a pillow from the bed, his neck hadn't appreciated the lack of support the other night. Her hand caught his wrist before he was fully out the door.

He stopped to turn around and gazed at her face. Her eyes pleaded him to stay, but honestly, how could he? Once again he was struck by how small she was, as she leant up to him. Expecting to hear a secret or explanation of some sort he leant down to meet her.

He hadn't expected her soft lips against his. He was kissing back before he knew what was going on, and then he was too busy fighting with himself to stop the kiss. She tasted sweet, her lips were gently and inviting. He let her lead her further into the room. This was bad, he should stop her.

She broke the kiss for him, holding him round the waist so he couldn't run. Was he that easy to see through?

''Please just let me do this,'' her voice was small and broken, he realised this was years of hurt pouring out. ''I need to know it can be more than pain.'' his heart broke then, burying itself a grave next to his resolve. It had probably been years since she had any control. He could give her that.

She stood back, keeping her bright baby eyes on his. She breathed deeply, before sliding her hands to her shorts, undoing them slowly. They were pushed down her legs, and he could see her perfect heart shaped knicker-clad ass in the wardrobe mirror behind her. She bit a lip that sent sparks down his spine. Torturously pulling up her vest top, more and more of that creamy tone was revealed. She was covered in small discoloured bruises, flawing the stretch of innocence. She radiated beauty even so. Her blonde hair falling down her back, clothing her in sunshine optimism. Her face was serene, letting him see all of her. She was perfection.

It was like hypnotism that made her able to guide him toward the bed, she gently undid his buckle, slipping him into nakedness with far too skilled hands. She kissed his shoulder, worry dissipated instantly. She was magic, and he couldn't say no. she got on her knees between his legs, needing to do this. His noises spurred her on. For the first time she felt she had the control, and this gift or pleasure was being given not taken. The power made her smile, he could see it in her large eyes that fixed on him.

Daryl's only thought was that she deserved everything.

Beth's only thought was that she could never deserve him.

**_Woah. So, cough, tell me what you think? Seems like Bethy still has some issues to iron out, also it's gonna get a bit rocky for the Dixon soon…._**


	9. Chapter 9

**_So first off, I would like to say a massive thank to all the support I've received from this site, including a few very nice and lovely constant reviewers (if you're thinking 'me?' right now, then yes, dear, yes, I mean you). It's weird to think how scared I was to join this site with my first story, and I expected very little positive response, since I wouldn't call myself a writer. So thanks. _**

**_Also the last chapter was so busy and heavy (I actually quite enjoyed it), that for the first time I planned a chapter! I know where I'm going, so I shall go write it! Enjoy!_**

Beth woke up in the same bed she had just days before. Her head felt heavy like it did then, figures. The room was as blank as ever, but somehow more filled by Daryl's presence and their clothes on the floor. She smirked, it had been a long time since she woke up in a guy's bed and been guilty of undressing him in a fit of passion. Daryl's arm was rested over the cover and lying across her hip, so she could feel the warm weight. His breath tickled her neck.

There was time for regret, but Beth had learnt that time had to be after they left. Her skin was dotted I heavy purple bruises, her cheek sting stinging. Silently she wondered if she wasn't covered by Zach, if Daryl's hot kisses would show crimson on her skin instead. She scoffed quietly at what Daryl would think of that thought.

Suddenly his lips pressed against the back of her neck, making her shiver at the tickly stubble. She twisted round giving him a devilish smile, pushing herself closer. His blue eyes were swimming with being half awake, once he woke up fully there might be that creeping awkwardness between them. And she didn't want awkward. So she pressed her soft lips to his, like she had the night before. He groaned, pulling her in tighter, slowly coming to life.

His lips still stung, but hell it was worth it for this. Little vixen Beth Greene. She gently tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth, forcing him to push her down and straddle her. She giggled slightly, as he kissed her neck, slowly trailing down. He loved that sound, but he loved her other sounds more. She murmured contently under his gentle kisses, the best fucking noise he had ever heard. There had to be something he could do to get her to hit the decibel level of last night.

''Daryl!'' Her eyes snapped open and looked down at him, he gave her a cheeky smile and went back to his ministrations. They stayed in bed for another hour or so, before his phone beeped at him. He switched the alarm off and kiss her cheek gently. Pulling himself over her to get out of bed, he could feel her eyes burning into his bum. Then the noise of Beth sitting up sharply, leaving her lethargic state. He turned round, expecting to see her smiling face, but she was frowning.

''Daryl, your back-'' her voice was small and soft. After all she wasn't an idiot, those marks were vast and healed, the skin twisted and bruised years ago. Ah, he had forgotten about that. Feeling naked all of a sudden, both metaphorically and literally, he pulled an old flannel shirt out the wardrobe pulling it on.

''Yeah, my dad was a dick.'' The tone held the end of questions. Maybe one day he'd feel alright with her seeing them, and perhaps he'd share a tale or too. But right now he just needed her to see him as someone more whole than he was. He put up a good front for sanity and dealing, but Daryl knew he was twisted inside in a way others wouldn't understand. He was a time bomb the therapist had said. But he simple told the therapist to fuck off and that damn social services had it all wrong, he wanted to go home.

He told Beth to stay at the apartment for the day, catch up on sleep and watch some TV, she had nowhere else to go. Besides she needed time to think things through. He dodged the banter of the guys at work, his mood crashing from this morning. In bed it's easy to forget what happened in the real world.

His mind drifted back to Beth, but he didn't want to think about what he was meant to mean to her now. Or what she meant to him. They were practically strangers. He didn't want to think about family, or he'd think of his own and that was not an option. Sex had never unhinged him this way before, so he thought of nothing.

Just after noon, a police car rolled up to the shop, in a moment of complete horror Daryl panicked and thought the worst. It wasn't a ridiculous thing to do, police cars weren't odd sights for Dixon's luck. There were millions of things to consider; his father, his brother, the slightly illegal car part Daryl knew nothing about officer…and now he had Beth too. Shit, what if he'd found her?

Sheriff Grimes stepped out the car, he threw the keys to T-dog, who held them up like victory spoils. How had he forgotten? Daryl had hardly looked at the book for today, just wasted his time tinkering with the greengrocer's truck again, honestly it would be cheaper to buy a new one. He needed a break, he was tired and irritable. Leaning against the fence at the end of the parking lot, Daryl took out a cigarette, letting himself sigh with the first breath. The fence sagged slightly, and Rick was there beside him, casually leaning back. Of course he would follow a stalking off Dixon, only man stupid or brave enough to do so.

''Y' look tired'' Daryl commented. He saw rick's dark circles, he looked like he hadn't slept all night. He offered the packet of cigarettes to rick, who took one, sure sign he was stressed. Rick had given up smoking to keep up playing football with Carl and to please his wife. But Daryl would offer when it was needed. He passed the lighter, savouring his own first light-up of the day.

''Yeah, had some lunatic banging on our door at two in the morning looking for his woman. The girl, she's a friend of Lori's. Missing, poor thing don't blame her for runnin'- gave Judith a reason to test.'' He chuckled to himself sadly, shaking his head. He took a long drag from the cigarette.

Daryl and Rick had become sort of friends long ago. Rick was a training officer dealing with some of the incidents the official police men didn't want to do. A lot of those were the Dixon family. Rick met Jack through his infamous pub crawl that resorted in public indecency, disturbing the peace and bar fights. He was a lost case, it took two weeks and a fractured jaw for rick to learn that. Some people were plain mean. Merle Dixon was no better. He was always in the wrong place at the wrong time, most probably for a reason. Whether it be stolen goods, drugs or prostituting drop-out teenagers. As far as rick was concerned the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree.

When Rick first encountered Daryl, he was convinced he would be exactly the same. And he wasn't getting another fractured bone from a Dixon. Wasting no time Rick had arrested Daryl on very little evidence over some weed in his car, which to be fair had belonged to T-dog. The old sheriff and his supervisor had been surprised, and said so over pouring a cup of coffee. Saying that Daryl was usually straight as a rod, a bit defensive and had a hell of a mouth on him, but he was the good one. As far as Dixon's did good, so only minor felonies. Turns out this boy still paid for the hospital bills for stomach pumping and groceries for his father, and picked him up after every court date and let go from prison.

It was during these times that he got to see for himself. They started brief conversations in the hallways when collecting Jack, tipping heads to each other in the street. Never hurts to be nice to a police officer. Then one day there was a radio call from an elderly neighbour, jack was killing his son she said. When they arrived Daryl was bloodied up, bottles had been smashed over him and punches thrown. He hadn't even defended himself. And then Rick saw his back as the ambulance team pulled thick shards of glass out his shoulders. Daryl still brought his father home and paid for his dinner, and that was a respectful man if ever he saw it. So Rick drove out to jacks house, threatened him to a degree of his worthless life. Jack never touched Daryl again.

''You look no better,'' Rick looked at Daryl who blushed, ''ooh a lady friend? You sly fella, hope she's good enough for yer stupid ass.'' Daryl shook his head smiling at a grinning Rick, who was raising his eyebrows suggestively. Rick threw his butt to the ground, treading it in along with the others, standing up from the railing to walk back to the squad car. He had gotten most the way across the parking lot when-

''wait rick-'' he spun around to a serious faced Daryl, ''about the girl-'' Daryl bit his lip looking like a guilty kid, debating whether to say anything at all. This girl must be special then, if she's making Daryl think of what he says.

''You gonna marry her? I'm the best man?'' His voice was light and teasing as ever. But Daryl didn't share the smile.

''No, it's Beth Greene.'' Time stopped. Ricks face dropped in puzzlement, a totally look of shock on his previously grinning features. The girl was with Daryl? Small world or something like that.

The same Beth Greene was just getting out of bed. She had caught up with the hours she missed, and then lay there feeling numb and cold. She took interest in moving her jaw from side to side and twiddling with her messy hair. This wouldn't do for long.

Beth had no problem being naked, she stood up and gathered her stuff off the floor. She pulled the forgotten pyjama top on, buttoning it. She'd have to wash these things, and while she was at it the bedding too. The noise of the washing machine was distracting, she had made herself some coffee but doing nothing was boring her half out her mind. Don't think about it, don't think.

I cheated on Zach. She felt a disgusting power inside at that thought, a smug pleasure from the pain he was going to feel when he found out. Then she thought of Jimmy- no, Beth, please stop. Don't think anymore. How Jimmy had totally broken her heart and snapped her in two pieces with his betrayal, worst of all she was the cheatee. Zach was going to feel the same, she was a horrible person. He had always been right, in the end she did exactly what he feared. This is entirely your fault Beth, her nails dug into the skin on her arm, small red crescents forming.

She was a slut like the mother she never knew, a cheater and a whore. Now no one could ever love her. It was irrational, surely someone was out there. Or maybe if she apologised to Zach, told him everything promised to never leave again. His dark eyes flashed in her head, the pain he had caused her, his hands around her neck. She didn't want to go back. A rush of panic washed over her. Everything was too close and moving, she was moving. The counter was cold but it held her up, her eyes squeezed closed as every bad thing filtered through her head.

The pain of being hit by Zach, being pinned down and touched forcefully. Jimmy and his wife kissing on a park bench. Her father calling her a whore, hitting her across the cheek in a drunken rage Maggie pushing her away. She wasn't wanted, she wasn't needed, and she wasn't welcome back. She would never see Shawn's baby. And when Lori knew what she'd done in the past, Judith would be gone. And the men she touched for food, the boy at the gym she kissed for free showers. One night stands and the pain of coming of drugs to the realisation you fucked everything up. Lying in the hospital, your shame being told to your family. You should've just died then.

And suddenly it was like Zach was in the room, he could see her. She was sure of it. Judging her, and throwing his love away. He would laugh and move on, because she was nothing, but she was too scared of him to ask for anymore love. A knock on the door made her jump, it was him. She was sure it was him. He legs shook and she feel to her knees, curling up and ignoring the noise.

Rick sighed as he sat against the newly fixed squad car, he was waiting on Daryl. They had finished a conversation about hay exactly Beth Greene was with him, which he promptly explained, leaving out the worst of the details. Rick had listened and then patiently asked if he could head over to Daryl's to check up on her, not that he wasn't sure Daryl was doing a great job. Of course Daryl had nodded, but when no one answered the door, Rick had no choice but to call Daryl for the key. He was reluctant to get the police involved at this stage, even if he was an officer himself, the girl had to want help.

Daryl jogged up the steps, clicking the lock and waking inside. The television was off and the bed was stripped from his poking his head round the doors, she wasn't responding to his calling out of her name. A coffee mug had been knocked over on the island, trying to quell the nausea in his stomach, Daryl thought. Where would she be? The door was locked, she was still here. Abused and upset, and I should have never left her. He felt sick, he knew how good she was at lying, how did he even fall for the 'I'm alright go to work act', for fuck sake Dixon.

Rick was stepping in the house, wondering if he should call an ambulance, or back up. He helped call out her name, giving her brief details about him, like he had tried shouting thorough the door to no avail. Daryl was pacing frantically around, then he suddenly stopped like an animal being hunted, and made off on a bee line. Time to follow.

They ended up in the bedroom, Daryl was running round the other side of the bed and he crouched down. Beth green was curled up in her hiding space, eyes squeezed closed and hands over her ears. She flinched and moaned at Daryl's hand being placed on her shoulder, and started crying when it was moved. He pulled her hands from her ears and blue eyes met blue. She was still crying. Looking up at rick she pulled away, pressing back against the mattress.

Beth refused to move or speak anymore, everything was numb and noting made sense. And even Daryl had to agree there was nothing to do but take her back to her family.

**_So it turns out I can't do plans….totally changed my mind half way through…..was I right to? What're your thoughts?_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_So here we are, next chappy! Xxx_**

It was like she was under house arrest. Beth was forced up into the relic of her room, which to her surprise had been all but unchanged since the last time she was here. She had curled up and sobbed the night before, ignoring everyone and everything. Even Daryl, she hated him for taking her here. She hated him. And she hated Rick too, even if she crushed on the way Lori spoke about him. He had made small talk with her in the car, as she wrestled Daryl as soon as she knew where they were headed. Daryl was hatefully stronger than her, the tightness of his grip making her panic more, but she would have hit him if he wasn't. Maybe she didn't hate Rick, just disliked him for being an accomplice to this. But oh fuck, did she hate Daryl.

At some time in the night she was woken up by the chill of an open window, and groggily kicked her uncomfortable jeans off, pulling the duvet to her chin. The mattress provided the soft familiarity of childhood that Beth resented right now, she just wanted to curl up. But her tears had stopped, leaving her numb. That scared her more, she felt like she could do anything, and it wouldn't matter. She could stop breathing, and who would give a damn? Not her, that's for sure.

The little blue flowers on white could make you believe everything was entirely a nightmare. But it wasn't, it was all true. Every last sordid detail, true. Beth pulled herself up to a sitting position, bring her knees up to her chest. She was still empty, putting her weight on the white wire frame, looking round the room. All the books were neatly piled on the shelves above her desk, the flower box she begged her mother to let her have still healthy and growing wildly and the bottles of floral perfume lined up perfectly against the bottom of the mirror. All memories of the past, looking so whole and honest. But they were just like her. The biology text book had emergency small white pills taped in a cut out, cigarettes and a lighter hidden in a zip-lock bag between the flower box and the sill, and the third decorative bottle held vodka not perfume.

She must have sat there hours, not moving. The sun was high and bright and eventually her mother came up, face with a soft smile and a tray of toast. She settled the tray on Beth's lap, and perched on the edge of the bed like she did when Beth was little and ill. Beth swallowed, she would never be mean to her mother. She couldn't even say no, that's why they had sent her up here first. Damn it all, she bit into a piece of toast, marvelling at the taste of home grown strawberry jam. She felt filled and then guilty that she hadn't managed to be here for helping make it this year.

''Bethy, please talk to me- I don't know what happened, you were so happy-'' It sounded ridiculous, her father obviously hadn't told her about the drug problems, the drinking, the prostitution. She wished she could be where her mother was, this incomprehensible state of understanding that little girl who lay in the fields. Her mother simply stroked her hair, coaxing her to eat and drink.

''I'm sorry that I messed up,'' Beth's voice was small and weak, it sounded pathetic to her own ears. There was so much anger inside, but she had no energy with which to expel it. Annette seemed to perk up at the sound of her voice, softly brushing away a tear.

''oh baby girl, you don't need to be sorry.'' She pulled Beth into a gentle hug, which Beth couldn't help clinging back to. The smell of comfort was perfectly on spot, unlike with carol every muscle could unwind. She let herself sob slightly. Annette was muttering about how there was nothing she wouldn't do, and Beth just enjoyed hearing soft words. Though she would never admit that she needed this, in fact it was long over-due.

Daryl felt awful, he had wrestled the girl to her father's house. His job was doing little to distract him. It had been three days and he had opted to take the Saturday shift as a way of filling is mind. Of course Carol and Sophia had been over that morning for a breakfast of waffles and fruit, but even the kid had picked up asking if Uncle Daryl was sick.

Glenn walked in mid-afternoon, it was his day off, but he came whistling over to Daryl. He perched on the hood of the car Daryl was working on, taping the metal in time with his inner-song. Happiness was pitiful to Daryl. Having given it two days and no answer from his texts to wither Hershel or Beth, Daryl had caved.

''Seems tense there, man. There was this old guy who snapped at me and this super-hot girl.'' Glenn was using his hands to talk, speaking quickly. Obviously feeling a rush from playing spy, freaking noob, thought Daryl. The good thing about working here was the can-do attitude. You asked a favour and it could be done, no questions asked, only a promise of compensation for anything illegal.

''The girl what she look like?'' Daryl's voice was quick and to the point. Glenn snapped back into the task, where his mind had obviously wandered. A girl, hot too, sounded like it could be Beth. If she was walking around that would be good.

''Why you got an eye on her?'' Glenn smirked up at Daryl, giving him a wink. But his face simply dropped at the severity of the look he was given. ''Alright, alright. Uh, small-ish, brown hair like short but swishy...and an arse like a peach.''

''No, not her. Blonde, small-'' Daryl shook his head, trying to visualise Beth and explain her without the words 'beautiful' or 'broken'.

''The like wisp of a thing? Caught her running up the stairs away from peach-arse. She's like what 12? That's not your thing right, cause I was gonna invite you to ours for Chinese new year and my cousins only like 6-'' He grinned, Daryl punched him in the arm.

''But you're Korean,'' Daryl felt more relaxed that he did in days. The weight off his shoulders must have shown as Glenn patted his back before stalking off. So she was alive still, and at home, and getting enough energy to go upstairs. That was enough for him. It was enough for him now.

It had been three long days. Beth had attempted staying in her room for the remainder of her detainment. But her mother had tempted her out for 'just a bath', and then 'just a movie with me', and then 'a family dinner like old times'. She was currently waiting to pull her old hair out. She reverted to teenage-dom, slamming doors and running away to the fields to calm down. But she refused to talk to anyone other than Annette. Not that they hadn't tried. In turn they had all come up, sat on her bed and given their versions of events.

_What's up? Hey button-king you gotta stop frowning- oh shit, sorry was that your foot? Don't glare, I said sorry! Oh I brought you up a picture of the ultra sound, but I didn't know if- well y'know- I'm so bad at this- it's not to jackass of me, is it? Shit, Beth I don't know what to say, daddy told me to talk to you and I just know I'm gonna put my foot in it. I love you, Beth. I guess that's the bottom line- that and 'tween us where had Maggie moved her smokes to- it's too stressful to be in this house without it. I feel for ya button-king. _

_Hey Bethy- still not talking to me? Only your mother then. Thank you for that, you don't see how bad she gets after these rows- not that I blame you mind, your sister starts most of 'em off. We're just scared Beth, scared of where you're going. You haven't told anyone anything that's happened, what a guy I barely know drops you off in tears and leaves again, it's hard for a father to remain calm. You won't look at me either? I don't blame you. I said horrible things, things I didn't mean- all that time ago. I never tho- I just – my father was a man I thought I would never be, but when I drank I became him. I don't want you to be me, you're not this person. I'll leave you to sleep, you can stay however long you want. Visit more. And Bethy- you've done worse than that redneck._

_Beth, I- can I talk to you? Beth! Please don't shut me out. …You always were meant to be the baby. Remember I used to take on the bullies for you and take your fruit cup as payment, and we'd play all summer just you and me- I was so jealous of how easy you had it. So blonde and pretty and 'oh Beth, you sound like an angel when you sing.' And everything was falling apart, Shawn was with that veronica chick, mums health went and dad- dad went off the deep end. I needed you, I needed you to be you, Beth. But you weren't you anymore- you weren't there when I spoke to you- I'm guessing that was drugs now, only then it felt you were being a bitch. I didn't want to leave you alone in the world, I tried! Gave you my sofa in Atlanta, but you used it as a crutch when your ankles were fine, I had to tell you to stop. And then I lost contact, and then you weren't you anymore. _

She was getting annoyed at the special treatment, she wasn't made for staying this long indoors. Beth felt like a trapped prize bird, too weak to do anything. She was resigned to sneaking cigarettes late at night. But night four after day three, had seen the last smoked, and the agitation kicked in. she began rooting through draws and old purses for any, at this rate she was going to throw herself out the window with that last cigarette butt.

She pulled out an old cardboard box from under her bed, the ancient laptop was sat heavily on top. Lifting it she thought, someone needs a diet. But still curiosity made her turn it on. She sat cross legged on her bed, flicking through an old slide show of her at parties. Both church and slightly rated. The internet came up with a homepage of Facebook, god it had been years. Humouring herself with thoughts of 'let's see who got fat', Beth typed in the old password like it was nothing.

She spent time checking old messages she never received, and looking up people who might have a fat person inside her. Just as the heaviness of her eyes got her to nearly close the site off, a small beep made her look up.

''I'm so sorry, I'm getting help. I never meant to hurt you that way, please meet me for coffee tomorrow. I can change. Zach xxx'

**_Ooooh! Review?_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Oh dear, so this chapter is rather involved, it may upset some of sensitive natures. _**

**_So excited for the return tonight, except I won't see it until tomorrow, so no spoilers guys! _**

She couldn't say no, or rather she wouldn't let herself. Maybe if she went back to Zach, everything would fall back to normal, she could hate her life in peace then. Still, everyone would be disappointed. And albeit the most frustrating place for her to be, being loved by her family again made her want to take the past back. They were willing to forgive what they knew, and what they didn't know need never to pop up into conversation. It could be a new start.

She loved them, even Maggie. Hell, particularly Maggie, that's why it had cut her up so bad when she said those awful, awful things. She wanted to be part of this functioning dysfunctional household, but that voice inside her told her that she was cancer to them. They worked without her, and that meant they probably wanted her gone. If not now, then certainly sooner rather than later. After all, who had ever stayed and not given up on her? She couldn't name one person.

The one person she forgot wasn't sleeping well, every task he undertook was pointless, stupid and a bastard. Particularly the driving of his father around for a flu-jab and then groceries. Jack had moaned the whole time about how often Daryl didn't call him, and for once it wasn't on purpose, he had been too busy worrying about Beth, or seeing Beth or sleeping with bed. He shook his head at the last thought. It meant nothing to her, nothing at all.

His fist clenched the covers, no matter how many times he washed them he could smell her, or maybe his brain could. Just one more person to use him, and leave him then. It seems no matter how far away you try to distance yourself the truth only comes back to haunt you. He wasn't needed, not wanted, and not loved. Once again, he gave everything in return for nothing but wasted hopes. He didn't know why _she _was the one to set of his neurosis, not Andy or some other cheap blonde from the bars. Weren't they the same? No, don't call Beth cheap.

He got out of bed, giving up the pull of unfulfillable tiredness, for cigarettes and bourbon. _I thought you could love me. _The thought was ridiculous, unthinkable and impossible. Beth and Daryl were both too damaged to love. They looked out their respective windows, giving up on meaning, so they could focus on life.

Daryl's mood could only darken with less sleep and a pounding head, the phone ringing after he finally dozed into drunken stupor did little, if anything to make him fix it. He swore the entire way to the phone, convinced his neighbours would be rolling their eyes at their shared walls. Courtesy of living neck door to 'redneck trash'. He picked up the phone with a disgruntled 'what?'.

''Good morning to you too, Pookie. Take it you didn't sleep well again?'' Carol's voice was full with fake cheer, an act she had learnt during raising a child in rough times.

''Carol, please, I just want some time.'' Daryl's voice was pathetic. But the way he felt right now, not even Carol was someone to see. She was the same, another person he had failed. How long until she hated him too? In his head, pushing her away was the only thing that would keep her near him. Flawed logic for a flawed man.

''Pookie, for god's sake, it not like the girl dumped you.'' But she hadn't seen the way Beth looked at him, the way she fought and screamed at him in the car, and she hadn't called since. Every text was unanswered, he had no idea what happened to her. And this shouldn't be affecting him half as much as it was, he barely knew her anyway. But for some fucking inexplicable reason, he cared about Beth, something about her wanted him to gravitate around her.

''Just- I'm fine, and I don't need no fancy-ass poncy doctor neither- so stop leavin' leaflets on my kitchen table when I'm at work.'' Carol winced, it was true she had started doing that after he stopped smiling at all, stopped eating properly and the man stunk of smoke. Daryl was irritated at her caring, mostly because it reminded him off those nosy freaks at child services. They would pretend they care, make you talk to some guy in an office that smelt like bleach and send you back to where the drunk man hit you. He had no trust in therapy, and it would if some people learnt to remember that.

''Pookie, I haven't seen you this bad since last time Merle was here and I found you lying in the bottom of the tub not breathing.'' Her voice was small and pained, showing the causation needed for this subject. That hadn't been his highlighting moment. But it was over three years ago, and it was different, she wasn't getting away with that card.

''I drank too much, fell asleep. Stop lookin' into that woman.'' He knew logically that she was only looking out for him, that she was scared for him, the same way he was scared for Beth. He didn't trust himself or Beth, if he was honest, to not do the volatile thing.

''Daryl,'' the use of his first name was a serious indicator he was in trouble. Carol could give off some serious mummy-vibes to him. Her voice wavered, outside of Sophia's school with the phone rested against her ear, Carol tapped her temples in thought. There were so many things she could say now she had his attention. He wouldn't take any compliments or confessions of how she loved him like a brother. She wasn't going to liken the situation to her own life. And the entirety of what was left to be said was too heavy for over a phone conversation. So she went with, ''I'm bringing you coffee. What do you want- latte? Americano? You sound groggy- I'll get something strong.''

Daryl began to protest but the phone beeped. Damn woman had hung up on him. He slammed the phone onto the holder with more force than strictly necessary for such actions. He both loved and hated Carol in that moment. He was made to be a solitary figure, but as the days creeped by his mood had only deteriorated. It was true that given a week more he might just snap like those people on TV and go murder his father. So he stormed off to take a shower, one less thing for Carol to complain about.

Beth didn't know why she was here. She had wanted the chance to leave Zach for months, and now she had her freedom she decided to meet up with him for coffee. She knew the reason. If she gave up on Zach, that would mean she was like all those other people had given up her. He deserved to be heard out, at least to be given some closure. No harm could come from that right.

The escape had been easier than anticipated, she had waited a couple of days. By this point Shawn was back with his precious family and Maggie was back to her volunteer work. Today Hershel was off at his AA meeting, she knew this from him telling him he was picking up Jack Dixon on his way, trying to spark conversation up. That left her and her mother at home. And Annette was always too trusting. Beth had beautifully performed a one-sided phone call with 'Macey' from high school, who was begging her for a little girl catch up time. Annette's heart was tearing at Beth's pathetic traumatised excuses making in the next room, so much so that she leant round the door mouthing that she could go. Beth's bright smile was all she wanted.

And here she was, and her mother need never know that Macey was actually Zach. She could be back before Hershel, but screw that she childishly wanted him to worry. It felt strange to be waiting so anxiously for a boyfriend. She had known him so long but still it felt like they were meeting again for the first time.

Zach looked tired and miserable, dark bags ringed his eyes and his entire complexion was waxen and pale. He took in her makeup less face, bruises still fading from her cheeks and neck like a statement. So she wanted power, he could do power. Beth wasn't very clever to have left him, never had he been so close to hurting her indefinitely, and her resistance to dress up the way he liked was just another way to defy him. But still he gave her a sheepish smile, and bought her a drink. He said his piece about how sorry he was and how he was getting help, though he didn't mention this help was small yellow pills form his friend Axel.

''What is it now, I don't want coffee, Carol.'' Daryl said as he picked up the phone again, a towel was draped haphazardly around his waist where he had had to leg it from the bathroom to the phone.

''Pookie, I just saw Beth.'' Her voice was quick and to the point, it made Daryl pause and his heart pound. What did that mean? Was she alright?

''So what do I care?'' He hated his response, trying to make distance again, as if admitting he needed to know more was unacceptable.

''I think she was with the guy who hit her, I don't like the look he's giving her right now, and they walked off together,'' Carol couldn't help give off chills at the tight way Zach had got Beth's arm in his hand. Beth was being an idiot for believing anything he said, but having been there herself she knew how hard it was to realise you can do better.

''Shit, what am I supposed to do?'' Panic hit Daryl's voice, he felt small and useless. But Beth wasn't going down without a fight from him. ''Swing by and pick me up, I'll get the address.''

Hanging up on her, Daryl headed to the bedroom, pulling clothes on and the dialling tone sounded on loudspeaker. He asked Rick the simple question and a quick reasoning but was told that 'there wasn't anything on this earth that would make a policeman tell Daryl that they lived at 28 Broadwalk, off Rydel street, take the second turning on left for quicker access'.

The second Carol knocked and walked in, he threw the spare helmet at her and picked up his keys. The shut the door and raced down the steps to the motorcycle, it would be quicker in the traffic. It had been a while since certainly Carol had been on this thing, but it was natural as a push bike to Daryl, who swerved in and out of cars and raced long stretches of straight road to their location.

Beth was collecting her things in the bedroom, she was promised that she could take whatever if she promised that they could try again over dates. Maybe they could make it work, if he could change that was. But for now, she was at her parents' house, wearing old denim shorts and band t-shirts from her early youth. For Zach it was just another instrument of torture. The strip of stomach on show and tightness of the shirt was due to her teasing him, her wanting it, not because it was bought at age thirteen. He sucked in through her teeth and she looked for the other shoe under the bed, her arse in the air in those tiny shorts.

He came up behind her, kissing her neck, like they did in those romantic films she would make him watch sometimes late at night on the sofa. She stiffened and pulled away, saying something about how they weren't doing that. So he apologised, though he was sure he did nothing wrong. She went back to shoving underwear into the bag, and that was obviously teasing, right? She was so playing hard to get, but he'd play if that's what she wanted.

She picked up her make-up, shower stuff and other toiletries, he followed her from room to room. Trying to show her that he wasn't going to leave, that's what she was scared of, if he remembered the first time she opened up to him. Any moment now she would turn around and kiss him for being so sweet, he was sure of it. But she only brushed past and headed down the stairs. He watched her arse as it disappeared to the kitchen.

Carol held onto Daryl tightly, she was too old for this. They slowed when they got to the area, Daryl called for her to look out for number 28. When she saw it she tugged at his coat, they slowed to a stop and dismounted together. Both a bit unsure about what to do, what if Beth wanted back and there was no pressure from him at all? Or even worse, there was a possibility the guy might not have been Zach and she was at some guy's house to hook up. No, Carol knew that look on Beth's face. She looked up at the house, I was a rundown area, but small flower boxes were well cared for despite their week of being neglected, and it had a false security feel around it. They walked up to the door and knocked loudly, agreeing not to break in unless they heard a noise, after all they could be out.

In the kitchen Beth was pulling out her favourite baking trays and cake making kit, her mother would appreciate another muffin tin in the house. When the door went Zach went rigid.

''Who did you call?'' His voice was sharp and he spat the question at her, glancing into the hallway to see the shadow of a man through the net curtain. He pulled back t kitchen so the man wouldn't see him.

''What no-one,'' Beth's voice was perplexed, and the look on her face made him feel a bit better. But he still couldn't trust this girl, after all look at her past.

''Kiss me then,'' he took a step closer, reminding her how small she really was in comparison. He had been so nice today, which would still be the case.

''What?'' she sounded incredulously, stepping back against the counter, effectively pinning herself.

''Prove it's not your lover come to get you.'' The logic was entirely ridiculous, but his tone held no humour.

''That's ridiculous, I don't have a lover- and I ain't going to kiss you Zach.'' Her voice hitched at the world 'lover', she thought of Daryl. Zach's eyes flashed, she was transparent. The little whore really had someone else. He grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss, she tried to pull back, squeaking slightly. There wasn't much to do but bite his lip sharply.

''Bitch,'' he spat, wiping the blood off his chin. Just as she opened her mouth to scream, his hand covered it. He started muttering in her hair, and they mixed with thoughts in her head. _Little whore aren't you, you deserve this. _She whimpered against his hand as he grabbed her bottom with the other, pulling her into him, hoping to let her know how much he needed her. He moved his hand, resting it on her throat the same place he did the other day, letting her know what would happen if she made a noise. _Is that your lover come to save you? _He led her noiselessly to the floor, making her lie back against the cold tiles making the cold seep into her body. _You're mine, and he'll be out there whilst I have you._

Daryl and Carol knocked again, louder. There was still no answer, the curtain on the small glass window at the top of the door obscured his view, and Daryl was looking for any sign she was there. Something didn't sit well for him, but it was inexplicable and no reason to break into a house.

Zach began to strip her, pulling the tight top off her body. The tears racked her small body, making his job harder. _I thought you didn't cry anymore. _Her bra was torn off next, her arms hanging limply by her sides. Giving him no help, but not fighting either. _That's it, can't wait can you, whore?_

As his hands fumbled with her short buttons, Beth looked up trying not to look at his maliciously excited face. _You can't escape, this is who you are. _His breathing was hot and wet against her stomach, as were his disgusting kisses down. He lifted her legs to remove the shorts, one hand still on her throat as an unmoving threat. _You like this. _She thought of Daryl and how it hadn't felt like this at all, it was sweet and hot and she wanted it. She didn't want this. Breathing in deeply she saw the trays she was collecting stacked on the counter, peering over the edge. Biting her lip, and swiftly before she changed her mind she used in-air legs to knock the trays.

The resounding crash and small yell of one catching Zach's head, made the hand retract slightly from her throat. Then she screamed. As loud and long as she could, still pinned under Zach, he soon silenced her. But the damage was done.

Daryl was almost ready to call Rick and check this was the right place. Then there was a crash, Carol looked at Daryl. It was the question of if that was enough to break into a house or not. Then there was the scream. Oh, yeah, that was enough. Using a brute strength Daryl hadn't used in years, he crashed the door in, running through the hall to first open door.

Lying on the floor was a red-faced Beth gasping for air, she was only in her knickers, and limbs flailing to hit her attacker. Zach was pinning her down, trying to undo his trousers and finish the job still. She wasn't having it. He raised his hand to strike her across the cheek again, but just as he went to come down, a think hand wrapped around his wrist.

**_I had quite a lot of fun with a delusional Zach if I am honest, maybe too much….review to save Beth! xxx_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_I am so happy the walking dead is back, had a right little hyper day counting down the hours to watching it- only had to pick up my new glasses so it was like another hour of torture! I can't even see out the new glasses they're too strong DX…I blame them for any mistakes xxxx_**

Daryl's fist connected with the hard cartilage of Zach's nose. He reeled back in pain, Daryl's hand still holding his wrist tightly, like he had done so long ago to Beth. The fist caught the side of his face next, then busting his lip making blood spatter slightly over a very naked, shocked girl.

The rage in his eyes was scary, as he tore Zach off of Beth's body as if he were simply a doll. Daryl's fist clenched in his t-shirt, holding him up to breathe in his face. There was already a high possibility that Zach would learn his lesson from this, but the yelps kept coming and Daryl wouldn't stop, even as his opponents shocked fight never really started.

Carol had rushed over to blanket Beth in her arms, pulling her up from the lying position to sit up, forcefully pulling her close. She wasn't even in it anymore, just watching with morbid pleasure as Daryl did the deed. She must have been cold, or ashamed, perhaps even embarrassed- but that moment somehow suspended from a string. Hanging in front of her, no longer attached with her reality. A beautiful world where she was saved was made of glass and all too easy to lose. If she moved it would smash, if she breathed the very earth would tremble. So she only stared ahead.

The crashing noise of sirens only made Daryl stop, he pulled himself away, though his broken knuckles were indication enough of his guilt. Oh well, he'd be happy to go to jail with this mother fucker and introduce him to some friends. Shane stormed in, straight past the busted door, obviously called by alarmed neighbours. He looked around, the youngest Dixon was tense and breathing heavily, a guy on the floor in bad shape. It didn't take a kindergartener to put two and two together. But there was also another woman, holding a small blonde shaking girl. Shane only stared.

Rick rushed in behind his partner having turned the car off, his eyes met Daryl's and then Beth's. He sighed, this was going to take some cover up. He shrugged his police jacket off, throwing it at Carol to pull Beth's arms through. It smelt like expensive cologne and spice, and was warm form the body heat. Where it came above Rick's hips, it comfortably hugged Beth's thighs, large and spacious but the most intimate thing in the world. Her eyes were wide and unmoving, only just settling to reality. He helped her up shakily along with Carol, and everyone's eyes were on the broken figure of Beth Greene.

''Son of a bitch,'' where her soft voice spat out such hatred, her own small fist cracked harshly against Zach's nose, the precise place he had already been punched. His head flicked back against the cupboard which he leant against. Eyes wide in shock as hot blood gushed through his nostrils once again. Then she stepped back in the role of a timid victim, her shoulders shaking and eyes glazing over as her breathing became erratic. Carol pulled her back into a tight hug, brushing her loose hair behind her ears. She looked so young.

Once Rick had taken Zach away, with a promise to put him in the more sensitive inmates' cells, Daryl slumped. It was finally over. He wondered if she felt the entire world lift a little bit, and she must have done because the face that stared back was no more a grieving woman but a lost child. He took a bag of frozen peas out the freezer, the only thing usable in there, and began pressing them to the back of her hand.

''You take it, yours are worse.'' Her voice was small and jarring, it stopped everything he knew. She was caring about him after what had just happened, it wasn't right. Carol removed herself to get the bag of Beth's things, finding some old jogging bottoms for her to slip into. She pulled them on in the kitchen, no worry about being decent. They had seen it all anyway. Daryl knew they should go back, but also that he wasn't able to put himself through dragging her there again. One look and she seemed to read his mind, slipping on her pumps and grabbing the back pack. She nodded at him, accepting harsh reality, though it made her cold all over.

They arrived on the farm in half an hour, Beth holding tightly to him from the back of the bike. Carol had left to get Sophia walking the distance easily to the school, as Beth had once dozen to sell cupcakes. The ferocious roar of the engine made Hershel open the door before they had even dismounted, and Beth simply hid behind Daryl like a schoolgirl in trouble. Any other situation he would have laughed. They were lead silently to the living room, made to sit on the sofa as Hershel convened the rest of the family. When your daughter comes back in sweats and a police jacket, it's a story you don't want to have to repeat.

''I'm sorry.'' Her voice was soft and comforting, like honey to sweeten tea. Hearing her voice for the first time. It was impossible to hold the angry lines of worry any longer, the old man slumped, finally letting all the hurt show. He ran a hand through his white hair pushing it back, this is when Daryl realised Beth had told him nothing.

''Bethy, what happened today?'' his voice was small and calm, but she shook her head at him.

''I met Zach at church, remember, back when he used to do the organ for Mrs Tucker on Wednesdays. Well, he asked me for coffee some 8 months ago, and I had nowhere else to go, my health still not quite right. We ended up living together- but you knew that, Maggie told you I was livin' in sin-''

''I didn't mea-'' Maggie's voice was detached, thick and so unlike the sarcastic snides Daryl had only heard as of yet. But she stopped at a pointed glare and a finger held up my Hershel, nodding at Beth to continue. He was going to let her finish before the spell wore off.

''he started sayin' stuff, hittin' me and making me do- well, things.'' Beth looked under her lashes at her father, who sucked in air controlling his anger. He had never asked what Zach was like because he honestly never wanted to know, fearing it would be love or this that made her stay. He didn't want to hear either, but he needed to hear one.

''I tried to leave, but he said that he loved me. And he did in his own way- but he kept getting paranoid and sorry wasn't enough.'' She paused to take a gulp of air, ''he asked me to do something one night, and I didn't want to, so he put his hands round my neck. That's when I ran to Daryl, and he brought me back here.''

Daryl felt the weight of everyone's eyes shift from Beth to him. He didn't know why he was still here in this meeting, he should have left after dropping her off like before, but her small hand found his by his side. He felt the painful tickly of her thumb brushing over his bloodied knuckles and strangely it only gave him comfort. Hershel's eyes held an unspoken pool of gratitude, and frankly that threw Daryl off.

''Zach asked me to meet him today, I'm sorry I lied to you,'' she looked at Annette who shook her head. ''He promised me I could get my stuff and leave, I was going to come back here, but-'' Beth's voice reached an unnatural high. Her voice cut off, her body trembling.

''I got her, he's in jail.'' Daryl's voice interjected, the eyes all flashing back again. This time including her thankful glance.

''Oh Bethy- I swear I never meant to say those things, I never thought he was-'' Maggie dissolved into tears, and surprisingly it was Beth who stood up shakily to wrap wiry arms around her sister. Beth didn't cry, but let Maggie sob it all out.

''I'm sorry, I wasn't-'' still small and meek, but louder than any beating heart.

''Don't be sorry Beth, we should've known-'' there was fight over guilt. Always in families, eventually it got down to shifting the blame, and no one would correctly pick up the guilt football.

''No, this is my fault. I shouldn't have left here-'' She looked at Annette, pleading for incomprehensible judgment, needing to hold some responsibility.

''Don't you dare blame yourself-'' finally the family were getting it.

''And what if I do?'' Beth's voice wasn't shouting, but it still sliced the room to silence. They all looked at her finally seeing the little girl left behind in this, encased in the monster of insecurities. She tore herself out the room, the kitchen door slamming shut. Both Hershel and Daryl left to watch her traipse in loneliness across the fields.

''Did that boy rape my little girl?'' Hershel's voice was dark and loathing, his eyes staring straight into Daryl's a coldness that only a father on a rampage can possess.

''Yes, but I got there today.'' There were no lies to say, nothing to keep. Hershel nodded in morose understanding, pinching the bridge of his nose to dislodge the thought.

''I can never thank you enough,'' he patted Daryl gruffly on the shoulder, to which Daryl only shrugged, pulling on his boots and leaving the room. He turned before he left.

''We just get each other.'' He didn't know why he had to say it, but his actions somehow needed to be justified to this man. There was a long way for their family to go, and Daryl needed him to understand that he was around for Beth or anyone should they need it. Hershel got the message, clearing his throat and taking off to sort out his distressed wife.

Daryl found Beth lying in the fading light of the field. The sky was painted bright orange and pink, as if blushing at them both. He lay down next to her wordlessly. And there they remained staring at the highlights on the clouds, filing away events of the day and a potential future that they weren't locked into.

Beth was pretty as a picture. Wonderfully put together even at rock bottom, her cheeks only rosier from freedom and angry emotion. Those sinfully wonderful lips humming out lazy tunes to the slight sway of her propped up knees. A vision in all colours. A little china doll with a broken china body, concealed deeply under the lascivious velveteen and silk splendour. What it would be to see herself through his eyes.

As if sensing his unguarded staring, she turned her head. Pausing to contemplate a moment.

''Thank you, Daryl.'' To think that this morning she hated him, he still had given her another chance. He came and took her away from the damage she was forcing on herself. She could see it now, how all her choices ran into the next. And the jump from bad to worse to Zach and back again. She needed something good to make it count. So she kissed him.

Her small lips were warm and gently, pressing carefully for acceptance. And in wild misunderstanding he took her in, letting her feel comfort like that night. She could use him, and she would. Not maliciously nor with force, but a soft need he couldn't deny though it broke him to the core.

She kissed his cheek and pulled Rick's jacket back on, standing up to leave to the house. Brushing grass off the backs of her legs as he buttoned his shirt up.

''What is this- for you?'' His voice was small, and in this subverted nightmare his heart was made of crystal and hers of metal. He could finally see it in her eyes, that bit of her that was still dead, waiting to feel. He made her feel when she was sad, not him really, his body. And she used him again, and would leave with piercing, stabbing footsteps. She'd come back the next time, and the next time, taking tiny pieces of him away, but he'd receive nothing in return. And fall for it every time. He knew her tricks too well, they were his tricks once a blue moon ago. Now she was the spider, and he the fly in his own web.

''Beth- am I just- I don't want to be just some guy you sleep with when you're hurt.'' His last ditch of honesty, the clearing of the air. She simply looked at him with curious child's eyes, the long lashes drawing him in, the small pink smile repulsing him.

That little vixen Beth Greene. Eyes like an angel, lips like the devil.

**_So, your thoughts? (Hopefully there was a bit of unexpectedness) xxx_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Hehehe so the last chapter did throw a few people off, and that makes me extraordinarily happy for some inexplicable reason- I don't know I felt it was getting a bit too predictable, and I don't want it to be look 'ooh looky now it's all good.'_**

Daryl told himself he wasn't going to sleep with Beth Greene again. And when she came over with an apple pie two days later to say thank you, he said it to her face. Beth looked genuinely shocked at his refusal to kiss her, she went back onto the heels of her feet and looked at him. He may as well have two heads with the look she was giving him, and he didn't blame her, he was questioning himself a bit. She was obviously a gorgeous and willing face, and he doubted many men had turned her down.

She sighed biting her lip a little bit. She was obviously calibrating the information into her brain, trying to piece it somewhere. Then smiled the kind of smile kids give you when you they know a secret. He even heard a throaty giggle from her before she poured him more coffee.

''I've never had just a guy friend before,'' her pleasant surprise was heart-warming, and Daryl could entirely believe it. She slipped her shoes off and sat with one leg underneath her on the stool, resting slim pale arms onto the island work top. Her blonde hair was down and loose, swaying with the breeze from outside coming in through the open windows.

He didn't mind having her here, in a way she was another Carol- a younger, hotter, up-for it Carol. She was probably at this stage as broken as he was, and he also knew that although the Greene's were on mending terms, she needed the occasional break. He felt the same way three days after when she stormed in unannounced at half past ten.

''Maggie is a cow,'' she huffed heavily and fell onto the sofa dramatically. He tried to hide a smile but her childish antics mixed with seriousness caught an unexpected spot. Slowly she shuffled round to cosy up on the sofa, closer and closer to him, testing the proverbial waters. ''Can I stay here tonight? Promise I'll stay on the sofa.''

''Spare duvets in the hall closet.'' He remained staring a head, wondering if this was what it was like to be in a relationship. You know, that bit where you did stuff together, not just have sex and say goodbye. His cheek burned under the quick kiss she gave him as she bounced off.

''You have way too much energy for this time of night,'' he called after her, shaking his head like an old man. And god, he felt like it. Five days of hard working on the job, trying to bring in a bit extra before Merle was let out next month.

''You could help with that!'' her face reappeared to give him a flirtatious wink, but he threw a stray pillow at her, making her disappear around the wall again. He heard her shouting something from the hallway but it was cut off by the noise of his phone ringing, who was calling at this hour?

Beth watched Daryl hold up an apologetic finger and rush off the bedroom, phone pressed to his ear and series of low murmuring. She idly wondered who it was, probably some broad. She made herself laugh, the small white pill doing its job. What could she say, Maggie just really annoyed her. She hummed to herself as she set up a little camp on the sofa for herself, but her mind was racing far too much for sleep. Oh well, just let the little white magic to come down.

When Daryl didn't come back in twenty minutes, and she was in her blanket tossing and turning, Beth began to think something was wrong. She hadn't heard any noise for a while, so she strained her ears. It didn't sound like he was on the phone, but then again, his voice was often quite soft. She crept down the hallway, he'd be pissed if he thought she was spying, but sometimes persistence was needed. Waiting outside his door a moment, she paused once again to check for noises. Nothing. Unless you counted her own breathing. She moved her hand to knock, but on the first rap the door swung open.

Daryl Dixon was sat on the edge of his bed, forehead in his hands and staring at the seemingly endless floor. He hadn't made any motion to noticing she was there, and she wasn't entirely sure she knew what he would want her to do. Stay or leave?

She risked it. Carefully stepping forward, saying his name. He looked up at her, eyes rimmed red, shaking his head. She of all people knew to just wait, so she did. Sitting on the bed next to him, leaning slightly against his arm so he could feel her presence. She would wait as long as it took, for just his nod to remain silent or a rant about the call. Slowly he began to twitch.

''Merle's coming out sooner than I thought,'' his voice was restrained, angry for future events. The name stirred memories of the first time the spoke, backs to a bed they didn't own- sharing stories with their saviours. Daryl was afraid merle would mess up again, and it would drag into his perfectly constructed front of 'normality'. It only took the removal of one brick to bring down the palace walls. She leant a bit tighter. And he shuddered, letting himself feel the rage, hot angry tears escaping the stoic front. She didn't care, neither did he, just letting it go.

''How do you do it?'' his voice was quiet, her small queering eyebrows made him answer, ''deal with it all.'' He sounded so honestly needy that Beth could only think of something. She couldn't tell him about the little pills of joy, or the alcohol, or the self-loathing he needed something more. So she thought back over years of issues, to a more innocent time. A time where she would have a fight with Shawn or Maggie and go upstairs.

''Dance.'' She gave a small grin, jumping up. He looked like he wanted to run away.

Beth tilted her head at him, offering a small hand and pulling him up. He felt like he was three times bigger than he was, something so small offering his clumsy ass to dance. She hummed breathlessly, slowly gaining strength to the point of being heard. **What can I, what can I do for you, honey? **Her voice was soft and like silk, honestly it sent him reeling, not even noticing that she had pulled him into an awkward sway. His feet moved in accord to their own movement, following her lead, but he couldn't care. **Walk you to Times Square, walk to the moon? **Couldn't care, because her bright face was staring at him, judging his thoughts as he got lost at her eyes. He span her out suddenly making her giggle, as if they were in a crowded place. But two was enough for this room. **You're looking like you need a kiss or a fight. **

Her blonde hair caught the low light so that she could have been Aphrodite herself, that devious twinkle masked behind genuine affection. **And I know you're alone, most of the day. I know you spend night the very same way. **She twirled back closer, their chests touching, he soft breathing being felt by them both. His hands moved down from her hands to where her small waist and flare of her hips met. Never had he felt for fragile, like he was made of nothing but paper and he would be dissolved in simple waves of her existence. Like a siren. **And I know you say you would change that night.** Pulling him in to only drown him for her own pleasure, that's what she was good at. That's what she wanted to do to him.

But something had shifted, palpable in the moment she pulled him up. **But I was never yours, and you're no longer mine. **A release of some sort, or reluctance for him to be just another man. The same way she would never be just another bimbo. **And I'd like to love you, but our love is spent. **But he was broken, and she was too. So they stared into each other's eyes, letting the longing sit at the front. Both knowing what a bomb-shell the combination of the two of them would make. Opposites attract, my arse, and it was true they were different. She was a child of cold ice and water, whilst he was born ready to fight in the army of flames. **And we wasted our wishes, hurt our best friends, made a home in heart ache, and now can't pay the rent. **But their difference pushed them to be the same. He held her tighter, moving around the room in wide circles as she whispered her song.

Beth shared a smile with herself, feeling the heaviness of contended eyelids slip down, in the perfect moment. Before it was all over, she had to enjoy it. **If you want perfection look to somebody else. **She stopped moving, her small feet resting to a timed stop, his own falling with her. Looking at her, but she simply stepped away, giving him the appropriate space between them.

Daryl told himself he wasn't going to sleep with Beth Greene again. But his arms found her without any caution, he looked into her eyes. Bright and electric aqua to deep dark sapphire. There had to be more to this than need, but neither questioned it. Letting a small nod drop, before feverish kisses, Beth let Daryl do exactly what she did to him. His hands pulled her vest top off and unclipped her bra in practically one move, and she only helped by holding her arms up for removal. His kisses were like morphine, strong and numbing.

For Daryl, Beth was a delicious craving to be satisfied. Her willing, soft body and experience, seriously negated her age. There was so much hardness to her, a demanding streak needed for her rough survival, but that was only consequence of this world. The real Beth came out in glimpses, gently, caring and velvet. A young old lady wanting to be held, wanting to be loved in the most innocent way. But wanting her rough satisfaction too.

In his life there had been gentle [fake-]love making and rough hurried lust, mostly the later. Beth was a mix of the two, a devilish angel. Ah, ah fuck if she did that again this was going to be very unsatisfying for her. He pushed her into the mattress, sitting on top, their frenzied movements stilling. Eyes met again. Her sin filled beauty hit him, as the emotion hit her. Beth Greene let a tear escape her, as his lips met hers softly. He lingered only a moment, before continuing.

After, when he fell asleep heavily next to her, it was on his stomach an arm across her, keeping her near. Idly she thought of her promise to remain on the sofa, but shook it out her head, snuggling up to the warmth of his body. His long hair rested over his eyes, and a small pout like a child. This was getting dangerous. The drugs must just be wearing off, she felt light but her heart felt so heavy, as if only that was pinning her down.

She thought of his soft lips lingering only a moment in soft honesty. The most intimate gift she had experienced as of yet. Girls like her don't get kisses like that. This was getting dangerous. She was toying with feeling something she hadn't wanted to contemplate as a possibility.

She thought of that simple chaste kiss.

Simple and yet so dangerous.

**_I quite liked it! The song is an Emily Kinney one- yup Beth singing Beth- called Times Square. Xxx _**

**_If you like it, please tell me so! Or if you didn't like it, please tell me so! I'm sure Shakespeare himself used fanfiction comments to improve his writings on the star cross'd lovers that is Bethyl. _**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Possibly going to be able to hit 30,000 on this story today! I was going to write last night but was on the road at 6.30 got back at 21.30, then had two hour long phone calls…and then I was too tired! But this week should be very updatey since its half term! this is the last chapter of peace before drama!_**

Saturday morning rolled round, and having knocked for five minutes and rung his phone, Daryl was yet to contemplate answering. This didn't sit well with Carol, she knew he was down over this whole Beth situation, and his father was getting more demanding as of late with the threat of Merle ever more usable. She sighed, taking out her emergency key. He could be blacked out drunk on the sofa, which she prayed was true. But even so she held a finger to her lips, and Sophia caught on smiling at the idea of surprising Uncle Daryl.

Carol checked in the living room, there were blankets and an empty beer bottle on the side. She looked at Sophia, and asked her to tidy those up as she went to go get Daryl. Smiling Sophia agreed bounding across to get tangled in trying to fold sheets, which would hold her up for a while.

The hallway was empty as ever and the door firmly shut, Carol pushed the door open. Surprisingly Daryl was totally alright, maybe not in the head, but he was safe. Carol hid her smile. Daryl Dixon was laying naked on the bed, sheets entwined in his legs from torrid affairs, his manly pride hidden by the small smooth white hip of Beth Greene. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her close, and in the night she had moved to face him in a gently embrace. Beth's sunshine hair was splayed across the pillow beside her, the roots nuzzled close to Daryl's cheek, who had a small satisfactory smile on his lips.

He had never been so happy. But then again, beautiful women do beautiful things to scarred men. There was only one thing to do, she walked out the room then called loudly and knocked that she was coming in. this seemed to revive the sleeping lovers because as soon as she set a foot in the room for the 'first time', Daryl hunched over and pulled the sheets up.

''Oh like I haven't seen one before,'' Carol tried not to smile at Daryl's embarrassment. He moaned at her like a hormonal teenager, which to be fair was all he had displayed this morning, as of yet. ''But, Sophia is in the living room, and I'd like her to wait a few years before seeing one. Get dressed, I'm making pancakes. Ah, same to you please Beth.''

Beth had turned her head to the sound of Carol's voice, and then felt Daryl move in panic. Trying not to smirk at the embarrassment she sat up when Carol left. She felt almost like a youthful teenager again, staying over at boyfriends houses with liberal parents. Beth stretched her arms above her head, yawning widely. Daryl moaned slightly at the sight, the noise reverberating in the back of his throat. She was all cream and strawberries.

He pulled himself out of bed, pulling on stray jeans and boxers. Normally he would wear his pyjamas but he didn't trust certain morning parts of himself with Beth around, and that's the last thing he wanted to show a six year old girl. As if on purpose, a still-unclothed Beth leant over to pick up her discarded clothing from the floor, the reflection in the mirror caught her perfectly. A thin bar of golden light where his curtains didn't quite reach fella cross that glorious arse, and once again Daryl was reminded how he should wear jeans, indefinitely. Get your head back on focus.

Beth dressed herself in yesterday's lilac vest top and a bouncy floral skirt, it was all of modest length, and made Daryl want to simultaneously cry at her innocent perfection and snort derisively at the wolf in sheep's clothing. She pulled her hair into a messy bun with a bobble on her wrist, wiping under her eyes with small fingers. Pieced back together before he had even picked out a shirt.

She left the room, leaving him to try and string himself together. He sighed, rubbed his face and looked into the mirror. He looked just like himself, perhaps a bit stubblier than usual, but where his entire world felt like it had dropped suddenly, nothing at all had changed. His whole face was just as he left it, though it felt foreign to him. Daryl was simply Daryl staring back. Maybe that's how the world goes.

Making his way to the kitchen, Daryl leant in the doorway. His three girls were all helping to make pancakes. Beth fit like a missing jigsaw piece, breaking eggs into the mixing batter and giggling loudly with Sophia over random things. Sophia was smiling with her missing tooth, flour across her nose. A crude apron had been made from a tea towel tucked down her shirt, which was proving necessary from the batter. Carol was heating up the pan, she looked over shoulder and smiled at Beth and Sophia, then instinctively up at Daryl. They shared a look of weighty understanding.

''Uncle Daryl-'' (Beth snorted loudly on her coffee, making Carol pat her on the back) ''-I made pancakes'' Sophia beamed up at him, wide smile and flyaway hair like a halo around her. She was the only one of them still whole. She bounded around the kitchen to hug Uncle Daryl, he managed to rip off the tea towel before he got covered in batter. She had barely managed his waist with her small arms, and for one ridiculous second he thought of Herschel's little farm girl pictures of Beth. One thing was sure though for Sophia, she even thought about letting a man hit her and that guy was meeting with Uncle Daryl's fist, if not Mummy Carol's.

Daryl sauntered in, settling himself at the bar to watch them busy around they spoke about random topics: the new supermarket, best kind of cupcakes, and the power rangers. Beth laughed and smiled along with Carol, seamlessly working together to put the milk away and set out plates. Daryl picked up the newspaper and began reading through the jobs section, taking one of Sophia's crayons to circle an advertisement. A plate was pushed I front of him, holding the largest tow pancakes, as the others tucked neatly into a single one. The chattering continued between Beth and Carol, muttering about thin English pancakes to thick American. It ended with Beth making an English pancake to test Daryl. He could agree with neither Carol nor Beth, they were both nice, and the friendly competition was already resulting in Carol asking how to flip with a larger frying pan.

This could be his new Saturday. Sophia obviously wouldn't mind, she stared at Beth with a small smile.

''Is Beth your wife?'' Sophia clambered on the chair next to Daryl, leaning against his warm arm. Her eyes were big and blue, questioning innocently. He shook his head at her gently, to which she frowned.

''but she's pretty and was in your room.'' The unflawable childhood logic, made Carol laugh and Beth's cheeks went red at the compliment and

''She was uh- helping me make the bed that's all.'' Daryl was soft, but Sophia's faced drooped slightly, upset at not having an Aunty Beth. In her small head it was so obvious. Carol muttered another, 'is that what they're calling it now', to which Beth poked her in the ribs for.

''She should be your wife.'' The bluntness of the sentence made Daryl choke on his coffee, which he was using to cover up his reddening cheeks. Daryl avoided the eyes of everyone for a moment, finishing the last of his forth pancake.

Beth blushed at the exchanged and collected the plates, taking them to the sink. Daryl's newspaper was stuck underneath, glued on with water and sugar from the careful baking prowess of a six year old. Easing the paper off, a small red circle caught her eyes. Daryl was leaving his job? But the ad wasn't for him.

**_Needed, young singer and performer for local bar gigs. Fri-to-Wed.  
Lucky Ty's Phone: 0800 6574 8229_**

''Is this meant to be me for me?'' Beth looked across at Daryl, her voice was small and undetectable, holding up the sodden paper.

''Well, I just- I- you wanted a job, help you get on yer feet-'' Daryl stuttered unsure if she was angry or upset at his presumption, he was just trying to help. But women, he had learnt, didn't always see it that way.

''Oh you can sing, Beth?'' Carol popped her head over Beth's shoulder to read the article, smiling proudly with inquisition. Beth opened her mouth, already shaking her head. But she was too slow to replying, only being able to glare at Daryl.

''Yeah she can.'' His voice held no argument, and the rare compliment of faith in an ability made Carol look up from the paper to Daryl. His eyes held a dreamy quality of a memory, obviously this girl had made an impression on him. But why on earth was she singing to Daryl?

''Ooh, you're even more like a princess.'' Sophia had gotten to Beth's side, pulling on her hand with a sense of awe. At least he wasn't the only one head over heels with her, he thought. Beth was being pulled down to Sophia's height, being whispered into her ear. Beth smiled gently and whispered back. On her way to standing up a small nod at Carol to tell her later.

''I should get going, Daddy is probably pulling out his beard by now,'' Beth brushed off her skirt, hugging everyone goodbye, with a small kiss of everyone's cheek. Daryl's cheek burned. She headed to the door, leaving the apartment with a definitive shut of the door. It would take a bus and a walk through the woods to get home, but she'd done it many times. It was sad to leave Daryl, but she needed the space still. Her head was reeling with the confusion of what he meant, he was a friend, obviously. But something else was there for them both, and that had to be extinguished before it grew to anything. She was cancer to relationships, and Daryl couldn't handle that. But instead she thought about what it would be like, if every day was like that morning.

Back in the kitchen, carol made a small face for the sudden surprise. And they all thought one thing: did she leave because of me? Carol had to take Sophia to Dance Class, so they soon followed after helping clean up. Later Daryl would have to visit jack, tell him about Merle coming out on Wednesday. That was four days. Daryl snorted to himself what possible 'good behaviour' would have a Dixon let out of jail a month early?

Beth clambered up the steps of the porch, her legs burned, and she silently cursed herself for neglecting her health so often. Herschel was sat in the kitchen anxiously tapping his full mug of coffee when she walked in, he stood up ready to shout. But Annette was there already, holding her baby's cheeks in her hands asking questions. Beth batted off the questions, and smiled. The genuine smile almost knocked Herschel over, and he couldn't do anything to make a move toward saying anything at all that would dampen that look. Wherever she had been, had tied her heart back in place.

Beth set about helping Annette wash up the breakfast plates and prepare the vegetables for dinner. Hershel watched her talk animatedly for the first time in years, twirl around the kitchen twittering about anything at all. She refused food saying she had eaten and ran off to her room to get showered and dressed in new clothes, even kissing Herschel on the cheek.

The buzz in her body was, for the first time in a while, totally natural. Where the drugs maintained hyper smile where everything seemed overly hilarious, and the pain couldn't bite only try to get past the protection of chemical love. But this was real, and so when she stepped into her room and the door closed, she folded. Beth managed to only get as far in as to slide down the door into loud sobs. Because she was never going to have Daryl, and even if she did he would leave her. The helplessness filled every part of her that the fear hadn't.

**_Hope you enjoyed (if you REALLY enjoyed you know what to do) xxx_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_This isn't a very long chapter, but it's a nice indicator of where it's all going, and no spoilers or anything but the ice queen in thawing. xxx_**

Beth's mood fluctuated greatly over the next few days, every other move was bursting into tears or laughing. Maggie had begun to completely avoid being in the same room, Herschel was contemplating doing the same, and only poor Annette was prepared with a tissue or a smile. In her eyes the only good thing was that she managed to get Beth to eat at least one full meal a day, be it comfort eating or helping make biscuits and cakes during the day. There wasn't much else that one could do to try and fix the problem.

The time with her Bethy was all she had wanted for years, and nothing on this earth was going to let her have a moment apart, not even emotions higher than when they had two teenage girls in the house. Besides tears she could do, watching her daughter destroy herself had been a million times harder. And what that boy had done to her baby, well she would never forgive herself for not being approachable enough for her own daughter to talk to. Herschel had told her she was silly, but that's because he blamed himself, they all blamed themselves. Including Maggie who was having a real tough time of it.

Beth had promised herself that she would stop with the drugs and focus on getting her head in place for her audition later that night. She had called up earlier, and the manager had been all too helpful in giving her a time to come over and sing. The lack of other jobs only made her more nervous, and in turn the anxiety fell into loud wails of 'I have nothing to wear' and 'I'm never pretty enough'. Telling her she was being stupid, Annette curled the soft golden waves over one shoulder, and zipped up a little black dress, long forgotten from the back of the wardrobe. If tonight went well, there was a chance she could stand on her own feet. If tonight went well, maybe Beth could get back to being that little farmer daughter with the world in her hands.

She looked in the mirror, smoothing out the dress, and trying on different pairs of black heels. She felt like she passed as someone who had some clue at what they wanted. She could almost fool herself to thinking nothing at all was broken behind the façade. And people generally liked to believe the best in others. And the weeks tear stains could be easily hidden by blushed and winged eyeliner. After all mama always said you have got to keep it together, even when you fall apart.

Uncle Ty's was a small bar and lounge near the centre of town, it was the only non-sports club available and so seemed to make a decent profit. Herschel dropped her off at three minutes to five. She stepped into the still closed shop, hearing the door shut behind her. And suddenly she felt trapped, like a little bird behind a glass window in a cage of leather seats and oak tables. The owner came round with open arms, pulling her into a hug, and assuming she was indeed Beth. A small smile played on her face at the completely non-judgemental welcome. If he knew half the things you'd done, she thought, you wouldn't be considered. Trying not to show that her mood had dampened, they began to talk.

''No offence little lady, you can do the hours and willing for the pay, not to mention tips- but you are quite soft spoken. You sure you can be heard?'' He said it softly, but Beth knew it was him asking if she was up for the work as well as the fact that he hadn't heard her sing yet. But that was nothing new, people always saw her as a quiet person.

''Yes, sir.'' She nodded, and mirrored him as he stood up, brushing her dress down.

''Tyresse, please. And alright, up on the stage- go when you're ready.'' He nodded to the stage, where she calmly walked to. He hadn't given her anything to sing, she realised, and she had no idea what kind of music he wanted. As she stepped up, the entire place seemed up more daunting. I can't do this. Tyreese what wandered to the furthest place from the stage, probably as a test. She would have a microphone, but the initial volume and ability needed to be judged.

I can't do this. It's impossible, she felt sick, and her stomach was churning. So she held her head in her hands and thought about all times that she could have done something but didn't. You let Zach hit you, you _could_ have stopped him. You don't tell Daryl it hurts you too when the sex means nothing, because it _could_ mean more. The thought of him stood there in hi jeans with that look on his face spurred her on, and before she knew it she was singing.

''_You called out my name at the opening party, we met the next weekend and you bought me coffee_,'' her voice trembled slightly but built strength, slowly getting loudly. Soft and so full of hurt, that it knocked Tyresse back. He expected pop songs and upbeat music, the type girls her age listen to. This was soothing, but heartbreaking. Simply from her tone.

He looked across at the stage, her eyes had fluttered closed and fists clenched to her chest. _You threw me your keys, and I let you in. _her hair caught the light like a little angel, and everything about her intrigued him for a moment. Where did she learn that depth? And he didn't care, because he was sold and he wanted her pain filled past and all. _  
_Beth pulled from every experience she had ever had, letting the pain and resentment wash over her in this sweet escapism. It wasn't an audition anymore, it was a healing session. _But I didn't mind because you're all that I wanted, Ignored broken glass, forgave each small sin. _Everything Zach had done, fuck, everything Jimmy had done. All the lies and broken dreams, and finally she wanted something for her. And suddenly she thought of Daryl. _You bruised up my legs in my one person bed._ And he was stuck there for some reason, like an invisible feeling she was trying so hard to suppress. She wouldn't love him, she couldn't. There you go telling yourself that you're not worth it. _I_ _can't chase you out though I've tried and I've tried. _He infected everything, made her stomach feel heavy with weightlessness.

Tyresse felt his sister settle next to him, she whispered a few questions about Beth, nodding and making a 'not bad' face. The girl was obviously perfect, she just didn't know it yet. _I step on the stage, my head finally clear_. She swayed a little with her internal music and the honey coated beauty kept hooking them in. soon the other bartenders and waitresses gathered along the back to watch._ I'm scanning the audience thinking you might be here. _The girl was beautiful and shamelessly hitting it, so much that Amy felt the need to say so, passing it down the line like Chinese whispers.

Her mind floated finally to sitting in the field, the side of bed, his sofa. Suddenly there by her side like it had been years not weeks, and he stopped the stem of tears. And took down the problem and built up the broken fences for her, because even if she didn't let him in to live, he cared enough to visit. _What could this broken love be all about_? _I've let you in, now I can't get you out. _She opened her eyes with a renewed sense of purpose. Letting the last note die, she sudden realised the other staff were leant against the back wall watching and nodding.

She was met with a round of applause and thrown into pats on the back and welcomes. Her face felt like splitting apart with the smile she got from, 'start on Friday'. Tyresse gave her quick introductions to the other staff, who she blushed and said hello to. Amy, tilted her head, she was so small and cute. Where did that voice come from? But wherever it had, her mind was there again.

All Beth could think about as she sipped champagne, was how Daryl had done this for her. This wasn't ever free form his reach, and he should be celebrating with a gruff well done and cheap beer. She wanted to know if he would've wanted to be here, to hear her and see her do something constructive for once. But you did it, Bethy. You did it, see you can do things. And if you can do this, then why couldn't you, say, tell him-

She ran over easily from the centre of the town to his apartment, head still on course despite the champagne of a job well done. Her heels chattered loudly on the pavement. A few stragglers gave her a look for running in heels like some lost damsel, but shrugged and got on with their lives. The steps up to his door never seemed longer, but she had to say something before she lost this recognition. Either she would fuck it up now, or potentially start something lasting.

Her knuckles hit the door and after a few breathless moments, the door swung open. An angry Daryl Dixon let himself de-tense at the sight of her, he looked over his shoulder and stepped out shutting the door behind him. He sighed heavily, releasing steam.

''Whatcha here for Beth?'' His voice was soft and raspy, he had obviously just finished shouting. But for some reason as soon as he saw her the anger he felt had vanished entirely. Especially with that smile on her face and made up like the real thing.

''Wait, what's wrong?'' her smile dropped a bit, along with his heart. She searched his face, knowing something was wrong. But there were no words to explain the problem to her, she would just know.

''My brothers back, that's all. Look I'm glad to see ya, like, y'wouldn't believe-'' he moved a bit closer to her, in case merle was listening, and he was ready to make an excuse to delay her ever meeting his messed up family, but she got there first.

''-I'm glad to see you too-'' he paused at her interruption, looking into her baby blue eyes, wondering if she was hinting. The honesty was there, he only had to man up and say something, and this would become something more. His recent fantasies coming true. Ok, he thought, let's hope I don't fuck this up. But he didn't have to, merle was always better at fucking up Daryl's life than he had been.

The door opened behind him. Damn nosey brother. Merle had the thought and inclination to gate crash any of Daryl's life, and when he heard a woman's voice he couldn't resist. So he watched through the peep hole, but Daryl was in the freaking way. When he stepped out with some sarcastic remark on his lips, he looked at the girl. She was small and shining, the kind of face you never forget, and he certainly hadn't. Merle's sarcastic comment was forgotten.

''Beth?''

**_Review to find out how Merle knows her….xxx_**

**_The song is another Emily Kinney- In (one of my favourites) also there's a line from Miranda Lambert, which I have now used twice… :D _**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Dun dun dun! Here we are- I think it was better in my head._**

Carol had left at 2 am that morning, since she knew that Daryl would be pacing the floor if she didn't come over and make dinner and talk to him. The more days that pass by to Merle's release on Wednesday the more wound up he was getting. Not that she couldn't blame him, Merle had a tendency to mess up anything Daryl got sorted in his life. And however annoyed Daryl was now, which was pushing the limits of not wanting to even text Beth back, this was barely even the tip of the iceberg.

Daryl Dixon was a calm headed man, until he wasn't. He was ideal in a crisis, only if he wasn't emotionally involved. And he didn't get emotionally involved in a lot of things, but when he did- well, it was better to just let him cool off a bit. It wasn't that he was unreasonable, it was that he cared too much and his heart once invested was a lost cause. For example look at Beth, slipping under the radar unknowingly, so much so that he broke into her exes house to beat him up.

Daryl rubbed his face, he felt tired and old. After Carol had left he had barely slept a wink, but it didn't matter because he had to pick Merle up today and he could only feel shittier from here on out. If only he had been an only child, if only he was born into a different family actually. The drive would take an hour and a half, so Dixon pulled on a flannel shirt and rubbed his face again. The truck seemed as reluctant to start as he did, but grumbled the entire journey without breaking down, as if it sensed it wasn't a good day to pack in.

The process of getting Merle was lengthy and annoying. Merle felt the need to try and hug Daryl, then swear colourfully when Daryl pushed him off, shouting about the lack of respect. This added another twenty minutes to which Merle had to be calmed down, and only threats of being detained pacified him. In a bad mood, Merle made filling in necessary forms harder, not that Daryl wasn't used to doing this between his brother and his father.

The journey back gave Daryl a headache. Merle wanted to talk, so Daryl told him about the shop. Merle wanted to listen to music, so Daryl let the radio go on. Merle wanted to eat, so Daryl bought him a fast food lunch. It would take a month, based on the past, for Merle to fall back into taking drugs. That would subdue him and take up the time, making his existence almost bearable for until he got arrested again. Unless he drank, the worst kind of Merle was vivacious high-on-life fresh from prison Merle.

When the turning for their fathers came up, Merle refused to let Daryl take it, putting a strong hand on the wheel. Daryl swore loudly at him, getting beeped from the cars around him.

''What the hell, Merle?'' Daryl shouted, his accent coming out more pronounced in his annoyance.

''Come on baby brother, spend a night on the town wit' old Merle.'' The voice was like a perverse child, wanting to go to Disney land. Nothing would dissuade him now he had the idea. Maybe if something worse came up.

''You gonna get drunk, and I ain't got a spare room fer yer ass.'' The rule was down, Merle was not vomiting all over his apartment. In fact he wasn't finding out where his apartment was, he'd start crashing there, bringing women and ruining happy Saturday mornings for him. God, he hated Merle.

''If the plan works I won't need no bed at yours.'' He wiggled his eyebrows disgustingly, and before any more detail was shared, Daryl turned the radio up. Maybe he could deafen himself and this would all be over.

They ended up being kicked out of the bar half an hour after arriving. Where the initial group of bikers and other town assholes celebrated Merle's return and began cheering and buying him drinks, it could never last. Turns out, Merle still owed his dealing a vast amount of cash. Daryl learnt all about it as he leaned against the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey. Merle was getting beat up pretty bad, he was outta shape. Daryl sipped his drink. He wasn't getting a flyway punch for Merle. Besides it's not like Merle ever stopped punches for him.

They ended up at Daryl's. Although he tried to delay it as much as possible, Merle's nose simply wouldn't stop bleeding and the scary looks strangers were giving them, made it impossible to not head back. If not someone would call the sheriff, and he couldn't guarantee it would be understanding Rick and not dickhead Walsh.

The frozen peas were more or less thrown at Merle.

''Nice place you got 'ere Darleena, just needs a picket fence.'' Merle took the peas and held them to his clotting nose.

''Shut up, Merle. Grab yer coat I'm takin' you to Jacks'' Daryl picked up his car keys, he was nearly shaking with anger. Something about Merle's continuous annoyances got under your skin.

''I like it 'ere'' Merle whined, looking in the fridge and taking out a beer, pulling the top of with his teeth. ''Jacks gotten boring in his sobriety, brother.'' And there came the list of ridiculous ideas- slash the neighbour's tyres, do some speedballs, hire prostitutes.

''No-no, no there will be no prostitutes in my fucking apartment Merle.'' Daryl's voce rose loudly, but that was only a white flag for Merle. The brothers stood nose to nose, shouting unintelligible insults at the other. Then the doorbell went, and Merle felt himself pushed back. He tried to follow after his stumble, but Daryl managed to slip out the door. Sneaky bastard.

Unknown to Merle, Daryl was about to pour his heart out, when he decided to come say hello. Well, I'll be damned, he thought, little Beth Greene on his brother's door step. Everything in his head stooped at the incomprehensible nature of this twist of fate. And his lips said the only thing he was thinking.

''Beth?'' His voice came out husky and questioning. The sight of her pulled the jovial teasing and purposeful annoyance out of him.

She had the same bright eyes, but they were focused and piercing in a way she had never had around him, it made them even more beautiful. Her pouty lips were parted in surprise, painted a light pink with shiny lipstick, like gold glitter was imbedded into her soft skin. She hadn't grown, still small and innocent. But most of all the long blonde curls cascading over her shoulder looked warm as flames, he wondered if she smelt the same.

Daryl's head whipped over his shoulder to look at his brother's appearance, he was going to yell, but then realised what he had said. His head snapped back to Beth, who was just staring at Merle like he was a ghost. Her shoulders tensed slightly, her entire face contorted to a look of total surprise.

''You know each other?'' Daryl's voice felt like it was going to fail him, he had to cough to stop its sharp incline of pitch. He looked at Beth now, perturbed that for the first time in the last ten hours Merle was quiet. She nodded slowly in guilty admission.

Beth was fifteen years old and angry. Her father's farm was falling apart around his drunken stupor. Maggie was a year away from college, willing and ready to sprint out the nest at first chance as Shawn had done. Annette's health was waning, the doctors unsure how to diagnose her. Hershel knew all this, blamed himself and drank.

The youngest Greene spent hours at home, the only other times she left was to go to church for choir and school. Days passed by in the solitude of her room, wearing floral dresses her hair pulled back in a ponytail, homework always done. She conformed to awkward perfection, so that all the friends were the same as her. But they couldn't be talked to about problems, their problems were who would ask them to prom and if green and blue are acceptable ink colours for science notes. The day to day pretending was getting to her, she couldn't lie. But no one takes 'I'm depressed' seriously, when you look as well put together as Beth. Maggie was never around, too busy at friends and parties. Beth was jealous of Maggie being the rebellious one and getting away with it all.

On her way back from church in late June, just before summer break rolled around, in a spur of reckless spontaneity, Beth went to buy herself an ice-cream. The small diner was cool, but she still pulled off the light knitted cardigan she wore to church. The strappy dress showed off the soft expanse of her back, the material hitching slightly over her pert arse. Never had she seen herself as anything more than a girl, nor had anyone else. Then Merle Dixon, out of nowhere, leant over the counter next to her, sizing her up and extending a hand.

Merle was just 26, and had done nothing honest in his life. But he knew what he liked and how to get it.

''Dix, what's your name darling?'' Rule for life don't ever tell them your real name. Girls like mystery. He was given a derisive look, and expected no better when she flipped her hair over her shoulder and pointedly ignored him. Oh, she wanted to play. The chase was set up. As soon as she leant over the counter to pay, he threw down a note. Her cheeks flamed red and she moved the money back to his side of the counter.

''Nah, sweets, it's on me. You can thank me by going to a party tonight.'' He heard her scoff and she covered her face, so amazingly innocent that she apologised for her behaviour. This one was so close to the crop it radiated off her. He shrugged, sauntering off to the door. Three, two, one.

''Wait. I'm sorry, but- well can I go?'' she had run out the shop, quickly coming over. She bit her lip in anticipation.

''Really, think you're up for it?'' time for the tease, make them think they need to work for it.

''Yes, please. I mean if I'm allowed.'' Bingo. She was so easy to string along.

''Meet you here at 8, sweets.'' He turned and walked away, not caring that he had just irrevocably changed her destiny.

She said she was sleeping over at her friends, and there was no reason to not believe her. She doubted Herschel would even notice. She wore the shortest dress she had, sneaked to Maggie's to put on make-up and got there on time. Dix picked her up, never had she thought of going on a motor bike, but hell if that was going to stop her. She simply had to do this. They arrived at an empty field, walked together until they reached a lake. Dix's arm had wrapped around her, and she told herself it was alright. But her heart kept beating.

She sipped at cheap beer, and then moved onto fizzy cider, much preferring the taste. Music blasted loudly, being in the middle of nowhere it didn't matter. Dix watched her dance, the sway of her hips and singing along. Fuck this girl was a light weight, a hot light weight. His friends all slapped him on the back, giving that look. Job well done. He could see the little glimpses white cotton briefs, and only then did he wonder why she was here. But he didn't care too much, not enough to stop himself.

She landed heavily next to him on a blanket. Heart rate escalated to a new high, she couldn't give a damn about home right now. The freedom was so amazing. When he kissed her it was rough and he held her until she reciprocated. A voice told her to stop, but she ignored it. Determined was she to enjoy this that she let him put a rough hand on her thigh and on top of her dress. He didn't push it though.

She went to the next party and the next, each time letting him take advantage of her clothed body in exchange for protection from leering men. They grew comfortable with flirtatious kisses. Not caring about the age gap, she wanted to hurt everything she knew, if her father found out he would die. And then he offered her love, slipping it into her mouth during a heated kiss. She trusted him, and swallowed the small white pill. And all the pain was gone. And she came back for more and more, each time paying anything he wanted.

She cried the first time, lay on the mattress sobbing after he had finished. He smoked near the window, letting her loathe herself on the other side of the room. He didn't need to comfort her, she was dependent on his small white gifts of love. Which is exactly how he cheered her up. A pill before and a pill after.

When she headed back to school that September, Beth Greene was irreversibly changed. Her skirts were shorter and hair down, flying around her shoulders. She laughed more and chattered about anything, it was the key to popularity. All the boys wanted her, they had no idea who she had been before, but knew that there was something of immeasurable value. She would, and could, bat her eyelashes and saunter just that way Dix has taught her- and it got all that she ever wanted.

''You slept with him, didn't you?'' Daryl asked. She hadn't said a word. Neither had merle. But he knew his brother and he knew her past. He was the one who broke Beth. Introduced her to this life. And it was alright for Merle to fuck his life up, but it was not alright that he had touched Beth. Ever.

Daryl's fist caught Merle on the already damaged nose, and then the door locked them both out.

**_Poor Daryl xxx _**


	17. Chapter 17

**_I got a bad review from the last chapter! Like seriously someone really hated it, which is like wow, what way overdue. I was waiting for that message since the start of my fan fiction career, but on well! I'm sorry to those of you who didn't like my choice, and personally, I believe Beth is indeed 'redeemable', and it's my story so ha!_**

**_Hope you enjoy! _**

Daryl slammed the door and locked himself inside. Everything in his head was burning with hatred. How could she have been so fucking stupid? Merle, of all people Merle. That freaking low life ruined everything again and it hadn't even been 24 hours. Had to be the new record. But this time it broke something in way it had never hurt so much before. He blamed Beth. And he knew he was being fucking stupid or it, she was probably no more than 16. That was his type. Get them young and get them hooked. How many others lives had been ruined by that man?

But Beth was better than those low life users he knew. She was meant to be shinier and better, damaged but repairable. And just look at him, he was proof enough that Merle's damage was everlasting. He didn't want it to ruin his image of her, but how foolish she was. And how foolish he was. He heard the stories millions of times, Merle bragging and through gossip. He should have known, he should have told her. But he didn't want to believe it was true.

Turns out he did have a punching session after all. His fist was put under the cold tap, but he didn't have the patience to stay there long enough for it to numb him. He was too hot, fired up and wanted to watch Merle's greatest fall from grace. Wanted him to hurt half as badly as he did right now. He had a chance with Beth, if he had never known that would've been ok. Ignorance is bliss.

_Why did you have to do this, Beth? _Daryl slid down the wall, hiding behind his bed like a child again. And it only made him think of her harder. If you had walked out that guest room when you saw her at AA, you wouldn't be here now. _You should've known there are something's I can't save you from. _Hot tears rolled down his cheeks, he was done pretending he could hold on. He needed to punch something repetitively, but he had no energy to move. Instead he sat here staring bitterly at the wall. _And I'm mad, at you and for you. _And she didn't know, but he hated her for it. The way child logic works. She and Merle fucked everything up, it's the kind of people they were, and he was the kind of person they fucked up for.

Beth listened to Merle knock angrily on the door for minutes. He shoulders just shook and she started crying. They hadn't even started seeing each other and already she had a broken heart and what's worse given him one too. Merle yelled questions at her in a drunken anger, but she ignored him. Going cationic on the top step, just crying and pulling the roots of her hair. Merle left, she didn't know how long he tried to get Daryl to let him in, but obviously sensed it wasn't happening.

He looked down at her, and had mixed feelings. She was the most beautiful thing that he had ever destroyed, and the only one to have bounced back to fight with his brother. He knew who Beth Greene was, how innocent she had first been, but how quickly she relished the end of the pain. He guessed it was guilt, but he wasn't familiar enough to understand the nagging feeling. This could be his undoing. But it wasn't like he forced her either, and after all it was years later and she was still alive. Obviously she never had to learn how fatal those pills can be if you keep taking them.

That summer had been the best summer for him. And nothing would make him regret it, but he wouldn't think of it again without the soundtrack of her high-pitched sobs playing in the back ground. He thought of those long pale legs wrapped round him, and the drug infused smile. Her golden hair spread across his pillow, smelling of strawberries and cream, and she'd laugh at anything and then cry when it was over. And when he left they shook hands, and she flipped her hair in the way that girls do, swayed her hips in that tiny skirt and made for some other guy. And he thought all of Beth Greene was gone. But something had brought the humanity back, as she sat on the top step of his brothers apartment in floods of tears, like that first time.

Maggie was at her boyfriend's house. It had been two long weeks of batting eyelashes and knowing she was better than this. But she relished the love of the chase, dancing seductively and playing hard to get. Made her feel worth something, and the drink made her head fuzzy so she could forget anything else. Beth and Maggie weren't so dissimilar. The parties and en made her forget, and reduced the feelings she had about anything. When she and Nate were together she could pretend she was someone else, and he was safe and rich and wouldn't throw her back to that farm. But she wouldn't stay, she'd never stay. Always finding some excuse to break it off after a few weeks, something wasn't there. Something was missing.

Her phone called out for her, and she apologetically got up from the sofa and answered it. Half expecting a cold caller, but at least that meant she had gotten away from the cosy guilt-ridden cuddles with Nate. The one voice she didn't expect to hear was her sister.

''Beth?'' Maggie turned sharply, her tone had made Nate sit up worriedly, but Maggie simply gave him a 'wait a minute' finger and walked to the kitchen. ''Wait Beth, slow down- I can't understand you if you're crying. No- don't just say that you're sorry, tell me where you are I'm comin', alright?''

Maggie threw the phone into her bag, grabbed her coat and keys. She marched through the living room to the front door, calling out some random excuse to Nate. Nothing was going to stop her. No matter how pissed off she had been for years, because that's what sisters do. And if you don't have a sister you wouldn't understand. The seats were cold, and other cars beeped at her, but Maggie paid no mind. The only thing to do was get there.

Daryl was shaking. His entire body jerked unconsciously as the adrenaline passed through his veins. Count to ten. Count another ten. Count to a hundred. It had been hours, but it felt like days. And infinite amount of time to feel everything, perhaps this is what hell feels like. His mind was starting to numb, the stabbing pain slowing in exhaustion. If he moved his muscles would scream, but he would relish the physical pain. He should've stopped letting people in the moment he met them. His nails formed little crescents of bleeding stress on his forearms, but he couldn't even feel that he was doing it. His mind stated teasing him with other memories of fresh pain, he squeezed his arm tighter and knew he had to call Carol or Rick.

By the time Carol let herself into the apartment, Daryl's thoughts had flooded to his mother. How she looked like a rose but smelt of her fiery death, her hooded eyes and futile attempts to save him and Merle. Then she died, and her plans of escape had been for naught, even if she never would have done them anyway. Carol wound her way through the apartment, hurriedly. Daryl Dixon didn't ask for help. What on earth could his brother have done in half a day?

She found him and called out his name, and he looked up at her like a lost child. So she held him, and told him about her day until he decided he wanted to talk about it. Holding his hand and stroking little patterns on the back so he stopped harming himself. This man was a time bomb.

''She slept wit' Merle.'' His voice was thick and small, she was confused and unsure if she hear right. Who had slept with Merle Dixon? ''Beth, she n' Merle-'' he broke off, putting his face in his hands. Carol felt her stomach drop, it had to be some cruel joke. Beth wouldn't do that, she simply couldn't be that cruel. It must be some hideous prank.

''Pookie, you've got to be wrong-'' Carol tried to sound assertive.

''I ain't. I saw that look she gave him. And she, must've only been a baby- when he- fucking bastard.'' Daryl's fist clenched tight again, and Carol rested her head on his shoulder letting him feel the warmth. Only then did she get the idea of a time span. She knew merle through Daryl's eyes, and had heard a thing or two about him preying on the high school girls. She sighed, Beth really had done the one thing to mess this up. Drugs, drink, abuse- Daryl could do, but his brother- no, there was no coming back from that. Not easily anyway.

There was something else there. He was bitter over her for some other inexplicable reasoning. Maybe Mr Dixon had finally realised how much Beth meant to him. She obviously wasn't some other cheap lay from a bar to leave a napkin-number he wouldn't bother to read before he threw away. Beth had got under his skin, and the rash she caused wasn't going away any time soon. That's not how it worked. Daryl had finally learnt to love someone faults and all, and then discovered some faults are unforgivable.

Beth was like a broken Cinderella. Sitting on the steps in her black dress and mascara down her cheeks. She didn't register Maggie coming up the steps, but allowed herself to be pulled up into a warm hug. Maggie smelt like Maggie always had, that same perfume Beth would buy her every year because it was what some teen idol liked. And it made her cry harder. Maggie held on to her little sister, rubbing her back and waiting for the tears to stop long enough to get her into the car.

Water under the bridge, that's all it had to be now. Because Maggie didn't think she could let her baby sister go again, she was tired of trying to get her to understand what she was doing. For years she wanted Beth to feel her pain, even though she knew deep down Beth felt it too. And now that Beth could feel it and was showing that, Maggie wished that her sister was exempt from all pain. She led her slowly to the car, buckled her in and headed home.

Herschel seemed surprised at Maggie returning, since she'd spent days away. And even more surprised when she got a crying Beth out the car. His father's intuition told him this was nothing to do about the audition, and he prayed they wouldn't bother their mother too much. All the recent worry was starting her shakes again. Weirder still, Maggie had an arm around her sister, guiding her softly to the house. Just like she used to do when Beth fell over and started crying in the fields. Herschel swallowed. Only now could he appreciate what he and his family had gone through, hell and high water, wasn't stopping them. And he was proud, but he was also sad that they had to survive in a world where he promised to provide for them.

**_Haha review if you're still reading XD_**


	18. Chapter 18

**_Another non-Daryl chapter, this is the last of Beth focus before we start exploring Daryl's past! And then we'll start developing more Bethyl fluffiness, not entirely sure what the plan is from here on out- the only thing actually planned was the Merle and Beth thing….hehe…Thank you all so much for the ongoing support btw guys! _**

Beth woke up in the dark plaid blue ''lucky'' sheets. Her sister was dribbling slightly on the pillow, her short hair ruffled on the pillow as she muttered still asleep. Beth lay there, feeling numb again, her head filling with everything she wanted to forget. The look on his face. But the morning offered a chance to think about things rather than to respond to them. How on earth could Daryl be related to Dix? They were the total opposites of each other, but then again Maggie wasn't exactly the mirror image of her either.

She had thought, or rather hoped, that at the end of those three months she would never have to see him again. And after eight years he turns up, just as she decides to go cold turkey and potentially do something positive. Go figure. Life really bit you on the arse sometimes. One thing was certain though, she had to tell Daryl. Surely he must know she hadn't known, and that she regretted it all. But he would never want to see her again. The look on his face.

Maggie snore woke Beth form her thoughts, she couldn't help but smirk at Maggie's ungraceful slumbering, and marvelled in that fact that she still got the better men for relationships. Maggie's uncouth sexiness and boyishness settled well with her hot face and curvaceous assets, but Beth wondered how she managed to get any second dates as Maggie rolled over and slapped her in the mouth. The sharp 'ow' was enough to wake her sister, who started apologising and making excuses a mile a minute. She held Beth hands away from her mouth to check for damage, there was none.

Beth, now fully awake, slipped out of Maggie's bed. The floor was littered with discarded clothing, so Beth carefully managed where she stood, her big shirt covering just below her bum, yesterday's knickers probably on display if she bent over at all. It was all Maggie had been able to wrestle onto a sobbing Beth last night. Beth helped Maggie start making the bed, folding the corners neater and smoothing the sheets.

''Thank you,'' Beth's voice was small, she wrapped her small arms around her, consciously looking up under the fall of hair at Maggie's face.

''No-uh no problem,'' Maggie's cleared her throat quietly, playing with the string on her vest top slightly. She turned to put the throw pillows back on her bed, her tanned legs strong and shapely in her small pyjama shorts.

She threw a few to Beth to do her side, and after Beth idly picked up a few garments and began folding them, she stopped when she realised she had no clue which were clean. And made to leave the room to get breakfast and a shower. Then maybe she would cry some more and try to fix this situation.

''Hey Bethy- I'm sorry'' Maggie's voice made her turn around, her sisters cheeks were going a little pink at the admission.

''I'm sorry too.'' Then they nodded at each other, tentatively smiling.

''You know, we have fresh strawberries in if you wanna make pancakes, and I'll get the coffee?'' Maggie's eyes lit up, and Beth stomach growled almost in response. She hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, claiming to be too nervous to eat before singing. It was harder to throw up if there's nothing in your stomach. Maggie always knew food was for the soul and the emotions not just the stomach, it's the one thing she and Annette adamantly agreed on.

After a breakfast of cartoons and pancakes, Beth and Maggie managed to giggle through the memory of Beth's horse 'Nelly' kicking literally everyone of one afternoon. The noise of which carried Herschel and Annette curiously round from their conversation in the living room to stare in wonderment. Beth lay further down into the tub. She had another night to mope before her new job started. But she felt so small that she couldn't see the point.

Last night's mascara had pretty much been cried off, but the clinging remains were scrubbed off, along with the soft curls. She would have to find Daryl, speak to him. But she was so scared that merle would be there, and she didn't want to talk to him. Mostly she was ashamed of what she had done with him, but even more so since he was Daryl's brother. And Daryl had punched him. She had seen Daryl aggressive before when beating up Zach, but that punch was venomous.

She missed him. Her final rope to safety had dropped her, and somehow it was more painful than existence before. Beth knew he had accepted everything, he offered her a hand up and helped her have hope for the first time in years. She almost felt like there was a future where she didn't die of an OD at 30. She would be with him, ideally, or someone else like him God be willing. And they'd have children that she wouldn't screw up and a window box of herbs and drawings on the fridge from their children and Sophia. Her heart heaved at the loss of that. He had accepted everything, but Merle was step too far for his forgiveness.

He had to forgive her, he just had to. Not even for anything, she needed to know there was a chance for his friendship, if she had that at least she knew it was possible to pull herself up. And she would be someone she was proud of, she wouldn't go back to those little pills or alcohol. Not this time. She had to be good enough for him before she tried again.

Because how could she live in a world where Daryl thought so little of her?

She got out the bath, drying her hair on a towel and wrapping a thick dressing gown around her, cocooning herself in material so she couldn't fall into tiny pieces. Needing to be a lone she slipped past Annette and went to sit for a few hours, until she was found.

Maggie stood in the doorway. The basement was cold, and Beth was curled up on the old patterned sofa from their grandmother's house. Years ago, Herschel had tuned this into a den, with an old TV and games with his mother's old furniture. No one really came down here anymore, but occasionally it would be home to a deep thinker or reader of the Greene family. The slightly stale smell mixed with florally perfume and lemon-scented cleaner. Just like always. In her early teens, Maggie could remember spending many a heated argument over the television with Shawn, always ending in wrestling on the old rug. Eventually Herschel would break it up from the yells he could hear from the kitchen, or Beth could be bribed with sweets to gang up on Shawn.

And there she was now, inevitably holding her knees to her chin, the small checked blanket around her shoulders. The TV flickered an old film but the fuzzy static made the voices impossible to really hear. Maggie wanted to be annoyed at everything Beth had done, she had everything and trashed it all, but still she was on some pedestal she was exempt from. She would never be Beth to Annette, and it was childish but she resented Beth for throwing away such a good hand, even if it wasn't entirely her fault. Frankly she was still pissed, but she wanted to move on. But life doesn't do apologies then instant fixing, they would work at this. And Maggie was willing to do that.

''You need rom-com and ice cream to do it right.'' Maggie finally spoke up, nodding to the TV. She had nursed many a broken heart, and whilst this may not be entirely the same, the remedy must be similar.

Beth looked up to the doorway, lazy eyes catching Maggie's, who just shrugged and walked over to the freezer. She rooted around and pulled out a new tub of ben & j's, throwing it to Beth who awkwardly caught it. Beth raised an eyebrow as Maggie pulled down an old game of monopoly and rooted in the box, producing two spoons. The incredulous disbelief on Beth's face mixed with a questioning humour. Whereas Maggie's clearly held6 a 'what?' expression.

Maggie threw the spoons on the table, going to the TV to flick through channels manually. The remote had been lost in a tv-batttle long ago, when Shawn forgot where he hid it. Herschel had yelled so loudly, but after a while it became a family joke. The choices were limited to an old run of Grease or info-commercials. Maggie swallowed her annoyance and put Grease on, she hated this film, but Beth loved it for whatever reason.

Falling heavily back on to the sofa and handing Beth a spoon, she popped the lid and dug in. hey, it may not be her broken heart but hell if she wasn't having ice cream. Beth was still the kind of girl to dish out ice cream into separate bowels to avoid unnecessary cooties, but with little choice she took small bites on her integrated side of the tub. Together they watched the dancing and singing of Olivia and John, Beth gradually got the heart to mutter along a little bit.

They got the dance scene where Cha-Cha steals Danny and Beth started bawling. Maggie had to double-take and thought about running, she wasn't used to this continuous crying thing Beth was doing, more the sharp insults and running off version. She was about 90% this scene wasn't tear- provoking, so she poked her little sister asking her to talk.

Beth opened up to Maggie for the first time. She told her how she had felt so lonely and down that she let herself get taken to a party, how she knew it was wrong and it had started everything else. She told her about living on the streets and Jimmy, and then how Zach had saved her. And then how Zach had started hitting her, and the way Daryl saved her. And how all that had been screwed up by her past.

''Holy shit- you really like that guy-'' Maggie scoffed licking ice cream off her spoon, throwing it onto the table. Her eyes were wide and she had moved amongst the story to sit cross-legged on the sofa staring at Beth's teary gaze.

''What, no. I just I feel bad-'' Beth avoided her gaze, pushing the tub of ice cream Maggie had finished on to the coffee table with her spoon.

''Oh, you've got it baad!'' Maggie's voice was teasing, and it somehow helped to think of this in a childish way. She nudged Beth who let out a half-sob and half-laugh. She wrapped an arm around her and started singing to the final song of Grease, getting tangled up.

Beth sighed and started singing the real words to the song.

'Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always be together'

**_I'm enjoying playing with Maggie's character, she's sorta like me though with the explosive emotion thing- I'm not a good person to upset either. And I do like ice-cream._**

**_On that thought let's review guys ;) (Not an obligation, a nice gesture)_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_Ok so there's two bits of italic narration, so it may be a tad confusing. Ok, first bit is things being said to Daryl and the second bit are lyrics to a song in the bar. Now, that's cleared up! And thank you to all of you still with me, and this story don't worry guys firmly still a Bethyl fic!_**

Jack called Daryl seventeen blaring times that morning. Daryl swore at the first few managing to half sleep through them, then went into protest to not pick up figuring his father would stop. He wouldn't. And this was why he was now on the fucking road to go fucking see that fucking house he managed to escape.

Being back here, with the peeling paint and never clear table, made him feel like a child again. Hell there were still long empty beer bottles on the coffee table from either before sobriety or a bald-faced lie to the alcoholic anonymous population. Those bottles haunted him. Too close to his father's ready hand to hit them over his shoulder, even his head if he was smart mouthed enough. He had been welcomed in, passed a grimy glass of orange juice that Daryl didn't trust touch his hand let alone his lips. He knew Merle was lurking somewhere, licking his wounded pride and hangover away from Daryl at his father's insistence.

''What's so special, just a girl right?'' Jack's voice was gruff and angry, but that wasn't unusual nor was it as aggressive as it had been. Years of abusing himself and the ones around him, Jack was on a steady slope down, weaker and weaker by the month. And Daryl couldn't find it in him to really give a damn. And the question only made him think of one thing.

Daryl thought back to the first girlfriend he ever had. Sure he'd had crushes before, but right now he was sixteen years old and somehow stuttered out the question to the curly haired brunette in their class. She didn't get much attention because of her thick rimmed glasses and hand me down clothes. He didn't care though, when he made her smile or he made her smile, there was this buzz that ran right down his spine. One day he would learn that buzz was called being turned on, but right then it was beautiful and innocent.

''Finally got a girl have you? Glad to see no son of mine is adman homo. Bring 'er round sometime.'' He thought he had snuck in quietly, but Jack was in the kitchen. Routing around for a cold beer in the fridge along with anything salvageable from mould or expired age. Giving up he turned around to open his beer and smirk at the pink lipstick on Daryl's cheek. The boy didn't answer, looked at the floor not wanting to start conflict. Damn wuss. Daryl tried to grunt out an unintelligible answer and skirt past to his and Merle's room, but a solid hand on his chest stopped him. Trust his father to ruin his first real night of happiness.

''Don't ignore me, boy.'' Jack's voice grew cold and threating, and Daryl hoped he would cool off if he left it long enough. Don't rise up to it, and he might be drunk enough to laugh it off and go back experimentally, the way her eyelashes fluttered the way girls do at guys they like and her freckly cheeks. He heard the noise before he felt the sharp sting of a slap on his cheek. His father grabbed his shaggy hair and pulled him close enough to spit in his ear.

''What you think she'll stay long anyway? She don't love you, she can't. Trash like you don't get loved.'' and it was true. So Daryl let the punch catch his shoulder, and the kick to his knee that made him fall into a metal framed and oilcloth chair. _That hurt, boy? _When he was on the floor, Jack wrestled his ragged top up past his shoulder, making to undo his belt. The bloodlust would kill this man before Daryl dared to raise a finger against him. And he was trapped, like a bird with two broken wings and an axe against a tree stump in view. _Good fer nuthin' unlovable. _

But still he tried to think of Sherry, her gentle curls and the subtle turn of the corners of her mouth after they finished kissing. The first blow struck hard and hot, he tried to imagine the heat was her soft lips on his cheek before he left. _You like the pain, know you deserve it. _And he knew he'd never love her when the pain wasn't numbed at all on the second or third whip, so he changed memories. _No one will ever want you. _And maybe that was true, but his mama had. She had bought him little cinnamon biscuits home from church and would stroke his cheeks softly when she wasn't looking after Jack. And she saved him from some of the pain, or at least the focus of the pain. _The day I saw you, I knew you was worthless. _Perhaps, he'd never be worth more than having to wait for the end of torture. But one foot in front of the other.

And it was always the same when he wrapped himself up in dirty sheets, same thoughts every time. Merle was never around anymore, too busy selling to young girls and boys at the high school and smoking enough to numb the pain of his past. Merle never smoked cigarettes though, only the grassy 'herbs' he stored under his mattress. After his brother once told him it numbed the pain, he tried it hoping it would protect him from Jack like Merle used to do when he was younger. It didn't help, just made it all fuzzy and painfully funny. So he never touched it again, sticking instead to real cigarettes. He wasn't afraid, like Merle, that they would take him like they did their mama. Part of him wanted them to take him in a fiery inferno so he could be out of this place and back with her, and the other part held on to them because they smelt like she had done once upon a time.

He lay on the bed, alone. Always so alone. He must be crazy, something wasn't right in his head. Because if every person on the earth felt how he did, there wouldn't be as many people gruelling it out like he was. He was alive with only a stubbornness to not be dead. Pick any of the first two and a half decades of Daryl's life and that was the story.

Jack had been giving him 'fatherly advice' the whole time he was out of it, and Daryl didn't catch a word. He simply sighed, and like all those years dropped his gaze to the floor, away from the man who had taken so much of him. He non-committedly grunted, felling like he was never leaving the confinements of his father's reach. Just like with the curly haired brunette he thought he had sweet love in some woman, and then he'd be right back here, only six years old and already learning to stop crying. Salvation doesn't come easy for the disfigured.

Taking some of the advice of his father, Daryl sat in a bar drowning his problems. The only thing that man got right, Daryl spat bitterly to himself. The whiskey burned, but so did the rest of him, so what difference was there his throat joining in? He had texted Carol to say he was alright for a night, since she grew anxious for him. Only one who ever did, maybe if his mother hadn't smoked the house down and killed herself she'd be like Carol. He liked to think so. He shook his head, it's why he hated going back to that house. He started think about his mama and how he never visited her grave anymore because it made him want to cry, and Daryl Dixon doesn't cry over such things.

The place was lively enough, just a small way away from the town on the highway, the kind of establish meant for the misfits like him. Cheap liquor and a cheaper motel next door. A small country song played over head and some singles danced to get attention, a mix of lonely hearts and prostitutes integrated in the pool of bodies, their differentiation only in the price that they asked.

A familiar blonde face merged in the crowd, dancing slowly near the centre of girls.**_ This city's just a little less pretty without you. _**He took in the grimy bar stools to the sticky floor where her six inch heels moved desperately. Her face caught the light, bubbled nose hidden by the sway of her blonde hair. **_And I'm here at home feeling blue. _**She smiled and laughed along with friends and suitors, brushing them off with expert hips. The straight white teeth and movement in the light, if he squinted, made her look like Beth. But she wasn't, and it just wasn't right enough. **_These songs I sing are just a little more lonely when you're gone. _**He didn't want to think about her or it, but his cold glare was directed at the cheap imitation of love he once clung to. Andy.

Her eyes grabbed his eventually, smiling at his attention. In the back of her mind she could ignore the nagging and pretend he didn't see the napkin she left, it was under a wine glass after all. **_And I'm trying to let you go 'cus babe the world is your show. _**He knew Andrea would give him intimacy and whispers of care, but she wouldn't mean it, she was too happy blowing steam off from her low paying attorney job. **_And no one can hold you down_**. Even with her career drive, she was somehow less impressive than what he needed. But with her head in that angle and looking through her lashes, there was resemblance still of another blonde beauty. **_And there's other fish in the sea, _**even if they didn't glitter and smash the way _she_ had done.

But he was hurt, and angry he was thinking about her still. So he let Andy come over and kiss him roughly, pulling her by the hair firmly so she couldn't escape. But she didn't want to, she was stuck on the ground where he was. **_Oh, and if you do come back don't you mess with me. _**And her bitter tinged perfume and dark roots concealed the lie to a human perfection, bringing him away from chasing angels that would stab his heart, to easy women he could convince to hold his hand. **_Oh, I won't mope and I won't cry_**. This is what Daryl was made for, flings and nothing promises murmured into sweaty necks. So he let her lead him outside, stopping to push her against the truck as he kissed her. But it wasn't the same. **_You'll be missing me when I'm gone._** His hand reached her thigh exposed in a small tight dress, before he stopped. It didn't feel the same. He pushed Andy off, making some excuse and drove away.

Back to the loneliness of his apartment where he could lie in sheets and chain smoke thinking about why he could do it anymore.

Something was missing.

**_So, I seem to really enjoy the song-fic chapters- what's the view on those? Personally, I like them I listen to the song as I write so I get the mood from it. This was ''Daydream Ditty- Megan Keely'' (who did not open Emily Kinney's show at all…)._**

**_But I'd love to know your opinion, not going to lie still a bit shaken from two bad reviews next to each other in my email account, but got some lovely ones today that made me so happy! Xxx _**


	20. Chapter 20

**_So same warning as the other fic, I'm going to start school tomorrow again and I have a really (perfect and colour coordinated) revision plan that's quite rigorous, so updates may slow down a teeny bit. But I'm alive! Sorry it's a tad bit short! I cant believe both stories have hit 20 chapters though, that's insane!_**

After three weeks, Daryl was convinced that he might be able to move on and put himself together. The revelation came after he opened the fridge, got his milk and made lumpy coffee that made him gag. Turns out milk doesn't keep. And he realised he hadn't really eaten much, only the occasional take away or meal carol brought him, of which there had been several. But still cigarettes had taken over his intake, much to his lungs joy. He had stopped drinking such copious amounts too, not having gone to the supermarket when the crate fell empty, he had even finished the schnapps. And he was sure that was part of this decision to stop moping and try to go back to regular pre-Beth Daryl.

After three weeks, Beth had managed to stop crying herself to sleep, finding freedom in reasserting a younger version of herself, pretending to be someone she might have been. She helped bake for parishioners and helped her father with the animals. Numbing herself to reality that it wasn't enough and she wasn't coping. But every weekend she'd belt it out at her job, slowing making the savings to fly the nest. But this time she'd do it right, so when a guy like Daryl came along she wouldn't have fucked his brother. She and Maggie had salvaged a partial friendship and sistership, which consisted of only fighting over shower times and who ate the last piece of shortbread. But it felt like she was playing a part, because she was. Pinocchio was yet to be real.

He took a shower and steeled himself to go to work and maybe actually talk to someone rather than just glare at them. That was the plan at least, short round had been pissing him off lately, trying to make him talk about his feelings. If he got asked one more time, cornered turned or not, that boy was getting a punch.

She took a shower and steeled herself for Rick's visit and maybe apologise for eating the last of the lasagne to Maggie. That was the plan at least, try not to break down as you sign the paperwork charging Zach and keeping him away from her for the rest of her life.

The man stood a small while away from the car as Daryl tinkered around servicing it, but hey, he understood some men saw their car as their baby. And although that might be a strange concept for some, he worked at a garage and so he saw it more often than most did. And it was a pretty car, matt black with tinted windows and not one scratch. The curvy kind of car for men of booming business and secret agents, Daryl mused to himself.

The man himself was tall, suited and imposing, the right kind of man to drive this beast. But he smiled too much in Daryl's opinion, he should stay mysterious and stoic to threaten others from approaching him. But not everyone wanted to push everyone away, and this man had already boomed out deep chuckles whilst signing in with the manager. The sharp bleeping of a telephone went off, and Daryl was reminded again to thank himself for not drinking. The noises in the garage had made him feel like he was in hell every morning recently.

''Morgan, hey I was going to call you, no man I'm alright,'' the man's voice was loud and laughing, Daryl wished he'd shut up rubbing his perfect smug happiness in his face. He zoned out, intent on fiddling around with this engine. It was a beauty. First MOT and basically everything still shined, the man had said that he rarely drove it far, with working in the centre of town. And this wasn't the kind of car you took the kids to school in or brought home groceries either.

''Got a new singer-oh, you heard? The illusive Miss Greene indeed, bring Jenny and Duane over tonight, promise I'll charge you only half the normal price.'' Daryl zoned back it with pin point accuracy, everything went still in his body, he was almost sure his heart stopped until the man finished to talk about dentists.

Daryl's head whirred with new information, so she got the job. And he was genuinely pleased for her, wishing he had been there to see the look on her face. She had called a few ads from his apartment but they all said no pretty quickly since she never really finished her education. His head was making an idea that he should go tonight, just check out that she was in fact doing ok. Friendly and totally casual. But then he remembered it was him who was angry at her, he didn't get to check up on her or have to worry because he was meant to be calling her a slut instead.

No, he would spend the night at home. He would make himself a proper home cooked meal, from a packet, but nevertheless it would be eaten on a plate not out a plastic tray like a real gentleman. And he'd watch a crime film, or those murder programmes to plan for Merle's demise. Maybe, he could call Carol for a while, even see Sophia if she wanted to. He was aware he hadn't been an upbeat uncle as of late. Yes, the perfect night in, just him and his family (the adopted family not his biological, alcoholic, relapsing good-for-nothings). He wouldn't even think about Beth.

Daryl walked into the bar, inconspicuously alone. It was loud and bustling, large enough to hide himself and let him scowl wondering why he came here at all. The microphone was being tested, and the live music would start up in only minutes. So he got a strong drink to quell his shaking hands, and by the time he had finished paying the bartender, a blonde woman with a familiar smile, the music was starting up. He leant against the back of the bar, a view of the small heart stopping view of Beth Greene, concealed by waves of people shushing up.

Beth shook her head of thoughts and boldly walked on stage, a few people clapped and she smiles gently in their general direction. **_Nobody likes us, at this party. _**Opening her mouth was always the hardest part, but her nerves would stop when her voice came out, singing the words on its own accord. **_The girl in the corner knows about the first night we met. _**On the stage Beth could be someone else, the bright lights filling her with teenage dreams and masking the cracks.

He didn't know if it was time apart or his own imagination but she had never looked more peaceful. She had that lit up face, the same smiling face as those last early morning hours in his bed. Her shoulders were back, playing her part again as some sexy and confident siren, calling to everyone's hearts. **_And I've got my hands in your heart, you've got your hands in my hair. _**But even in a slinky deep red number that stopped mid-thigh, and loose wavy hair illuminated like an angel of rock and roll, there was an undeniable frailness. And it couldn't be anything but adorable vulnerability. **_I don't know these people, let them stare. _**She was at home amongst the strangers, letting them gaze upon her tainted perfection, as he once had done. But they wouldn't be foolish enough to burn themselves on the flame.

He had never seen her in eyeliner before or high heels, but it still made the primal part of him purr in appreciation. He was slowly forgetting why he doubted coming here would be a good idea. And then he realised that was why, because seeing her brought it all back. **_And I've got you wrapped around my finger. You've got me wrapped up in your chest. _**But it was brought back more objectively. It wasn't just 'she screwed my brother' anymore, it was 'she was abused by a boyfriend and stayed for months'. He was giving her a hard time, but really it wasn't like her life was that easy either. And he thought about talking to her,**_ we keep whisperin' 'why aren't we together yet', _**but it was still too sore.

He tilted her head, focusing on letting it all out. Instead of screaming the words, she tried to feed the emotion through each laced syllable, hoping it caught someone's heart. If she died alone, be it said that she helped others achieve what she could never have. **_Should we get married, tonight? _**Because she wasn't jealous, she didn't resent those whole souls because their ignorance made them unattainably beautiful. **_Once we've drank up the wine. _**And someone had taught her how that feels, so that she could no longer begrudge others to receive it. Sitting on his sofa with merlot, or wrapped in his duvet, naked but for his smell. **_Let's get married, baby, married and go home. _**Her eyes flickered to the back of the room, fixing on the old paintings and bustling figures at the bar. With her eyes blurred with infallible tears any figure could be him, and so she asked anyone to forgive her, in hope wherever he was he knew.

Her pouted lips were stained winey rouge with past mistakes and lipstick, he could see them move from here.**_ And when we kiss the stars will cheer and cry and smile. _**If Mere hadn't turned up and he never found out, better yet she had never been with Merle at all, where could they be now? Happily achieving near marital bliss, perhaps. His heart sunk knowing something else would come up, two fractured souls were bound to jar at some point. But for a moment he listened to her and believed it would've been alright, letting her inadvertently sooth him with her angel voice and eyes.**_ Our friends will feel left out, and our parents had no warning. But we'll call them with the good news in the morning. _**And he knew he'd have to talk to her, or that sunshine hair would stain his thoughts in the nursing home. But not yet.

He downed the rest of his drink, pushing the glass and ice onto the bar, and zipping up his jacket. **_Make up lies and say goodbyes and meet me at the door. _**He nodded to the bartender in thanks, and slipped quietly away into the cool night. The air hit his cheeks and it was like coming up for air. He expected pain to hit, but it never did just regrettable sadness.**__**

And we shouldn't be alone.

**_A/N So I feel a tad bit mean! Heheh but don't worry its getting there_**.


	21. Chapter 21

**_So warning, I tried to be a bit of a sarcastic narrator, like subtle humour. Yeah, I apologise for it, I'm sure I do. But I had a long day, worked until 9pm doing revision after school, I stopped once for food and then continued. On the bright side I think I've displaced all my schizophrenia knowledge for my test tomorrow with Bethyl, I think maybe I should care more….mmm Bethyl….._**

Now she was in his mind, every pore of his being screamed for him to talk to her, but his aspiring pride got in his way. He got up the next morning and shook his head of blonde haired dreams. The coffee was too hot but he sipped at it anyway, waking himself up. It was his day off and he was lacking for things to do, still when his phone beeped he groaned.

'Dixon, need a favour- call if possible.'

Pulling on his boots, he hit call and walked out the apartment. The day of rest was over then.

''Maggie, come on- you promised we could go shopping today!'' Beth made the childish whining sound from the other side of the door. Maggie was bushy brushing her teeth and made a restricted, but loud, moaning noise back. She did not promise to get up before eight am. She leant against the door, keeping her little sister out until she woke up a tiny bit. The light was piercing and grumbling she spat the toothpaste out, hating what its minty freshness stood for. It was going to be a long day.

Maggie had snuck off, feeling less guilty about Beth because she was grown up and had a cell phone, besides even Beth couldn't possibly get into trouble shopping. Though she did seem the magnet for it. Maggie could do clothes, bear shoe shopping, but she drew the line at looking at stuffy old school cd collections. Really you could download all that stuff. Her feet needed to rest too, they felt like they were twice the size each step increasing pressure. Beth promised her a soft pretzel half an hour ago, she mumbled to herself. She'd have to cash the promise in when Beth found her, ask for an orange juice too.

The benches were those hard plastic ones, painted in blues and greens for a 'modern' feel, not that anyone cared. They were primarily for boyfriends and old people. Speaking of which, she perched next to a larger man eating a burger. It only made her hungrier and bitterer. This place was surprisingly full today, as if Beth purposely increased the torture by choosing the day everyone came in. Maybe the world was getting fuller. Chubby-burger got up, threw his greasy paper in the bit and wiped his hands on his trousers. Uh, men. As soon as chubby-burger had left a man quickly sat down, taking the only available seat with a heavy sigh.

This guy was Asian and sighing heavily at his phone, poking random apps to see if any messages would come through and to check the signal wasn't dodgy. Phone-tapper began tapping to the beat of the awful overhead music, his head dipping slightly in unconscious time. Maggie couldn't help the small snort that escaped her, he looked up at her suddenly giving her an awkward grin. Her face went red realising he had heard, and suddenly she had to explain herself.

''You were- dancing.'' Her hands held a life of their own, and she pulled a face at herself. Felling she had too many limbs to stop moving. Luckily he only gave a small chuckle, offering a hand out. She took it and shook it.

''Glenn.'' He smiled, squeezing lightly before letting her hand go. Definitely better company than Chubby-burger.

''Maggie,'' she gave a hesitant smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and thanking God that Beth pulled her to all those make-up counters earlier.

''I'm not being cliché, but I don't know you, right?'' he shifted in his seat to face toward her a bit more, leaning slightly in and running his eyes across her face.

''Not at all.'' she smirked, gently shaking her head. Not knowing he wasn't being sweet, and was actually going through his mind for when he had seen her before.

Meanwhile Beth was looking around an old CD shop. Herschel had given her half rights to his truck when he didn't need it, so she was keen to get some decent music in there for lazy summer days when she wanted ice-cream. Perhaps she should go see the doctor, she was turning into Maggie. Think about her sister she suddenly looked up ready to apologise, but she seemed to have left the aisle. Music often made Beth forget to pay attention, but Maggie wouldn't be far, and they could get food after this. Then they'd start on dresses, she smiled to herself.

It was her first time having an income of any substantial value. And although she needed to save most of it for whenever she moved out of her parents' house, she could begrudge herself a large half of the tips for a girls day out. It had been too long. Just as she picked out an old 'steps' CD, remembering how she loved them as a child and could do all the gawky 90's dance moves, a hand patted her shoulder lightly.

''Excuse me, but well- you, I'm so sorry, but I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are.'' The voice was foreign, stuck somewhere awkwardly in trying to be cool and having a high-pitched voice as a man. She turned around to face him. He was about four inches taller than her, and that wasn't particularly impressive since she was in flats. His black hair was spiked up the way guys think is cool, and a bandana was wrapped around his forehead.

''Oh, I uh- thank you, that's awful kind-'' Beth tried to smile but she felt it came out as a grimace, she flicker her head round to look for Maggie, who had wandered off again, most likely to find a bench. She felt awkward getting attention. When on stage she knew it was coming, but it had been a long time since anyone hit on her, since before Zach. Even if it was mister small arms over here.

''Let me buy you a coffee,'' The boy smiled, but there was something off. He may have been a perfectly nice boy, but his left eye twitched slightly. He glanced at her pretty face, and she swallowed down her stomach, wishing there was a socially acceptable 'no'. He smiled at her, jerking his arm suddenly, hand still in his pocket.

''Again, that's a nice offer, but I'm here with someone-'' Beth voice raised pitch a little bit, she looked over her shoulder again for Maggie. She didn't like strangers much.

''I insist.'' He stepped forward a little bit, and she automatically stepped back her back pressing the CD shelf slightly. She told herself to calm down, this wasn't Zach. She was safe, she was good. He would go away if she told him to, he was just a bit thick skulled.

''no really it's alright,'' she tried again, smiling manically now. When his hand wrapped round her wrist, her face dropped and her heart exploded with rhythm. Get off, get off. His palm was too hot and too sweaty, moist against her arm, despite the cold breeze of the air conditioning above them. She subtly tried to pull her arm back, but he went with in stepping closer still. Now he was in her bubble.

He muttered something about it just being a cup of coffee, but her ears were soaring with the sound of her own blood and her own voice telling her to calm down. She wanted to grab her arm back and run to hyperventilate in a bathroom stall somewhere, hell, she'd leave the arm.

''The lady said no.'' His voice pulled her out her daze. The kind of voice that held no argument. Daryl's hand was on the boys shoulder, covering it. Was Daryl always that big, or did this boy just give her a comparison. Daryl's shoulder were squared, his muscled arms nothing to compete with. A nervous twitch fell down the boy's entire left side. He dropped her arm, and Daryl dropped his.

Daryl Dixon put himself between the boy and Beth, a simple icy look was enough to send him off running. And honestly she wasn't too far from it herself. When he turned back his shoulders slumped, no longer in his alpha-peacock look. He looked at her up and down, feeling awkward.

''You alrig't?'' he asked quietly, leaning down slightly to her ear. Her small face nodded. He could see in her eyes she was thinking about Zach, and then he could see the exact moment her thoughts switched to him, and then to the last time they spoke. Her dejected huff of air and slight step away was enough for him to get on his way and leave. He gave her a gruff touch on the shoulder, leaving it burning where his hand had been. He picked up a CD from the shelf at the end of the aisle where he had been when he saw her, and made to leave. He turned when he heard hurrying little fairy steps behind him.

''Wait, I- Daryl-'' her voice was pleading, confused to what she was even trying to say, as all the thoughts were trying to be blurted out fighting for attention. She took in the fact he flinched at her saying his name, as if it was some curse that bound him to stay. ''I'm explain- I mean, shit, I'm sorry and I can explain.''

He looked at her. Her hair was scooped up in a messy ponytail, jeans hugging her tight curves nicely and those blue eyes were larger with out of place eye-liner. It made him think of her singing, and his stomach got all warm. Her stumbling attempt at speaking made her only the more endearing, and the fact that he found it so cute infuriated him. He was supposed to hate her. For whatever damn reason her voice gave her a leg up over the self-built walls of his better judgement, again. And idly he pondered if he would always have to be the knight in shiny armour for her incapable ass. The girl was a magnet to the dickheads. Wait, she slept with you, he thought. Exactly, he replied to himself.

''We can talk.'' He said it simply for her, unsure as to why he said it. His mind must know something he didn't.

''We can?'' Her voice was breathless, small and inquisitive. She sounded like he was offering to give her candy or tell her where Santa lived. That damn hope. Her eyes did that thing where she looked at his face under her lashes so she looked somewhere between sexual and innocence. It fucked with his mind.

''Pick y'up tomorrow, somethin' I want you t'see.'' He waited only for a nod, and walked off, knowing his authoritative tone had ended their little reunion. All he wanted to do was buy a CD and he couldn't even manage that without her. It was going to be a long night thinking about this. About tomorrow. About that damn twitcher holding onto _his_ Beth.

He looked back and she was still stood there a bright CD in her hands and a confused smile on her lips. Her entire body felt lighter and less burdened, knowing he still made it all a bit brighter. Unable to help himself he turned around as he found the end of the queue, she was still standing there, frozen.

''Oh and Beth, wear boots not them strappy thangs.'' He smirked at her pink face, and handed his dollars over to the acne-ridden teen cashier. Wondering what on earth God was doing to him.

**_Hope you enjoyed xxx_**


	22. Chapter 22

**_Here we are guys, hopefully the pace will pick up a bit. I'm sorry it's been busy week and I've been updating less xxx_**

The most surprising transition of the tale of today was when Beth found Maggie. She was actively flirting with a guy. She was leant against the railings of the mall balcony, soft pretzel in her hand and talking with her hands to some guy who only laughed along. Her sisterly instincts clicked in, making her look the guy up and down. He had an old pair of comfy looking jeans on, along with a punny joke t-shirt. I got _over_ my fear of hurdles. Unthreatening really, so she sent Maggie a text, seeing she'd be around. Whenever her sister got around to reading the message he'd call and they'd meet up, but right now she didn't want to have to act excited to talk to a stranger when her head felt so full of unanswered questions.

For instance, what the hell did 'we can talk' mean? That she still had a chance, or he had to reject her properly for his own manly pride? Oh god, what if he wanted to never see her again, could she take that? But nothing, surely, could be worse than this dreadful feeling of him thinking so low of her. She was easy and made mistakes in her past, but she didn't want _him_ to know that. Her head swished with ideas as she flicked through dresses non-committedly, knowing she needed a few extra work outfits that Tyresse would subsidise for her.

Laughing and talking with the sales attendant, Beth managed to pick out what she needed, settling on two new outfits for her performances. She then bought herself a coffee and muffin, choosing to sit in the quiet recess of a bustling place, pondering life.

Later that night, Maggie slipped into Beth's room. She took in her fair haired sister lying on the bed, simply staring at the ceiling and wondered what possible unspeakable pain could cause someone so beautiful to sit for silence in her own head for hours on end. Her cough brought Beth back, the vacant emptiness that scared her vanished to the lie of a living being. But she didn't care it was a lie as long as it was there.

Maggie was dressed in a tight black skirt and silky moss green top, her hair was curled and even makeup was carefully put on. It was the most of a girly effort Maggie could make. Beth smiled, getting off the blue covers to find a glittery barrette. Pulling the hair out of Maggie's face and pinned it to the side of her face.

''Now he can see how beautiful you are.''

A stab of total jealousy hit Beth. Maggie was so honest and whole, she had chances Beth would never be able to make, purely based upon not fucking up the way that Beth did. And Beth fucked up often. Maggie smiled and laughed in embarrassment, checking her phone for the time, probably the fifteenth time in the last few minutes.

As Glenn drove up the road, he thought about the house Daryl had made him visit as a 'favour'. That was weird. Usually favours were to do with being a getaway driver or holding drugs whilst a mate's house was being searched, unless you were Glenn and just needed a ride to the mall. He hoped t-dog had fixed this baby up properly. He couldn't afford to lose this car, it got him a job, and with any luck would get him some action to. But that wouldn't happen unless it got them to A and B without breaking down.

He took the next direction from the text Maggie had sent, turning onto the long driveway. Weird, maybe there's two houses down here. But the road never diverged, the white farm house came into view. And it clicked. Maggie was arse girl, she was fucking arse girl. He knew it, he knew he knew her face. He wanted a high-five, but there was no one to give him one. Now he had to remember why Daryl sent him here again, nothing to do with his date was it? No, it was something else he was sure.

He walked up to the door, knocked twice and it swung open. The honey coated voice of sweet Beth smiled up at him saying something about two minutes, she opened the door for him to walk in. the place was like any other family home he guessed, it certainly had an appealing lived and loved in feel. He took in the girl who answered the door. Her large eyes were swimming pool blue, lips small and pouty, blonde hair like waves. She was certainly pretty, such a stark contrast to Maggie, who he assumed was her sister. Her face held that impossible innocence though the way she held herself made her seem older, trapped in a tiny child's body-just a little wisp of a thing. The wisp.

She was who Daryl wanted to know about. He was contented to hear she was alive, and Glenn was glad she was too, but couldn't help wondering what Daryl wanted with this harmless little thing. It felt weird to be here, knowing it was part of some back story he had been seriously implicated in. but he did what any honest man would do, he zipped his lip and took him date for dinner.

Beth had once been something of a chance for Daryl to change his ways. He always had, and continued to, pick women that were liable to hurting him and leaving him in a state of self-pity. Self-destruction, that's what the shrinks said. That's why he smoked, and drank and picked the girls likely to have some disease if not scarper the night after. But Beth was supposed to be different, she was admittedly broken too, but and woman of his would never have been whole. However, that didn't change the fact Beth might have cured the addiction, resolved the pangs of hunger. Now she was just becoming a new way to get that fix. More dangerous than open fire near children. Beth Greene was his addiction. And each time he got a fix, he needed more, and that's why he pulled up at her house.

She ran out the door, swinging it loudly behind her and taking the steps two at a time. She looked like a fucking five year old, her nervous smile unnerved him, but he nodded to her through the windshield. Unbeknownst to her he could see she had obviously been pacing back and forth by a window for his arrival, he had been doing the same thing back at home, counting the hours to driving.

Beth clambered into his truck, blonde hair pulled up and dressed simply in jeans a t-shirt. Somehow she just suited the effortless style, like anything else that was out there. He saw her smile flicked back and forth, unsure how to read his driving face as he pulled away. From the rear view mirror he could see Hershel at the door a pink jumper in one fist.

He learnt quickly that driving with Beth was nothing like driving with his brother. Merle was any-seat driver, and he sang obnoxiously to words he didn't know, and hit Daryl, and tried to grab the wheel- fuck, he hated Merle. But Beth nodded her head with the music, only attempted a few one sided conversations and looked in awe at where they were headed. He had to admire her curiosity. The road was long and grey, stretching out miles upon miles. Its familiar curves and bumps were pre-empted by Daryl, after all he had grown up around here, and it was the only way on before the high way was built. Usually he hated heading to this direction, it was an inevitable road to the past. But this time he stopped, pulling up onto greying dry mud and shutting the engine off.

''Merle.'' It wasn't a question, it wasn't a request. Daryl's detached voice was a demand, his hands were still on the wheel clutching on even through the ignition was off. There were no buildings or other cars, nothing just trees and mud and tarmac.

''I was angry at my father, so I let _him_ take me t'parties. Thought maybe if I could hurt daddy, it'd hurt less. Or maybe I knew it would hurt more and that's why I did it.'' Her voice was equally tight, and forced. She tried to shrug, but it was jerky and pantomimed. The first conversation she had really had with Daryl since the incident. Beth felt an absurd need to laugh and cry at the same time, but she held it in. Someone else was self-destructive it would seem.

''Don't take much lookin' at Merle t'know he's a bad egg- you ain't stupid Beth.'' Daryl sighed, his knuckles turning white and looking straight ahead into the tree line.

''I ain't stupid, and I regret it. Honest to fucking God I do, but never more than now, Daryl, I-'' his entire body went rigid, tightly coiled and ready to fight or fight her. He didn't want an apology, he wanted an explanation. ''He gave me these lil' pills, got me hooked and so I let him.'' it sounded so cold, so clinical to even her own ears. And it saddened her to think that her first time was with some worthless druggie, and not his brother.

''How many times?'' Daryl spoke after a minute, lips tight and eyes still straight ahead. He tried to imagine a college-aged Beth drinking and partying in Atlanta, but it turned graphic too quickly, so instead he kept his head clear for her answer.

''I don't know, there was a summer, then he disappeared. I never saw him again- back then I thought it was a broken heart, y'know? It wasn't, it was going cold turkey. I went back to school like a new person, I was a shell- do y'ever get that? Feeling like you could crumple like paper if someone twisted you the right way?'' her voice was cold and distant, holding a childlike quality of guilt. Part of him relished her pain, the other resented it. Mostly because he knew exactly what she meant, and Beth wasn't the kind of person born to feel that way. He was.

''How old were yer, Beth?'' He steeled himself, he didn't want to know. But he had to. The questionings painful torture was nothing to what his mind could do late in the night. When she didn't answer straight away he looked across for the first time. He assumed Beth was in her early twenties when it happened, when she was partying out in atlantes, but that look made him think she was in those late teens from the high school. The look of her trembling lip and silent tears were why he hadn't permitted a look until now. Her face made the land few capillaries of his heart the only ones holding it in place before it dropped right out his chest onto the floor.

''Fifteen.'' She swallowed and looked back at him. He felt his heart plummet onto concrete. Never thinking his brother had done something as sick as this, and there was a lot of sick things Merle had done. He couldn't stop the image of a baby-eyes Beth in a school outfit being taken by his fucking brother, eyes doped-up and scared shitless. Nor could he escape the sudden onslaught of colourful swears falling out of his mouth and his hitting of the steering wheel. Everything was red.

As he came back to reality he could hear her shaking sobs and gasping breaths in the seat behind him. But he wasn't ready. So he flung the door open, climbed out the truck, pacing back and forth in a small circle. One hand hit the other as an open palm, trying to calm down. Beth slipped out the car, drying her eyes on her wrist. She tried to apologise, wanting him to calm down and be alright again. But her apology only sent him further into maddening rage.

''Don't you fucking dare apologise. You were a baby, Beth, a fucking baby! And my brother destroyed everything for you- I should fucking apologise-'' Daryl's voice started low and scathing. But quickly he was yelling, throwing his arms around the air, voice getting tighter and tighter. He hit the truck and turned to walk away, continuing his rant as he paced around.

''No-'' her voice was small but authoritative, catching his eyes and making him stop walking in circles.

''No?'' His voice was rough again, hoarse and hurt like a wounded animal. He looked so lost, like a child without his mother. And she wanted to throw her arms around him, protect him from the world at the cost of everything.

''If I ain't apologising for the past, then you ain't fer your brother neither, he ain't you.'' She struggled to keep her voice even, stopping it form escalating to a higher octave. The look Daryl gave her undid the work, sending her voice higher in disbelieving exasperation seeing for the first time how damaged he was. ''You ain't him, Daryl.''

''Aren't I?'' his voice was small, his back to her, but the wind brought his voice to her ears. Her tears prickled the backs of her eyes again, irritating them with un-ushered thoughts and hurt. How could he see himself any less value than he was?

Beth walked up behind him, putting a small pale hand round his thick tanned wrist. He jumped and span round with expert reflexes, but she was quicker. Less calculated, but precise enough she pushed her lips against his, forcing him into a kiss. His hands found her shoulders, and though it was the hardest weight he had ever had to push off he did. Staring at her heavy panting and stumbling form. She brushed some stray bits of hair out her.

''No- Merle wouldn't have stopped me.''

**_Dun-dun-dun! I like this chapter too, sorry it took a while to actually plot out the ..plot…yh Already working on the next chapter I promise, but a review would make me type faster (if you like it) or slower (if you hate it) J xxx_**


	23. Chapter 23

**_I think my inner hippy came out a tad in this one, but I would suggest at some bits you take it slow and try to picture what I'm badly trying to convey. So I really hope you enjoy it!_**

Daryl looked at her, and she simply looked back, lips tight and confident. Her cheeks had bled red from anger, matching her rimmed eyes, making the rest of her seem so pale. The white t-shirt was tight, the logo on the front heaving under her breath. She matched his stance entirely. Letting one another calm down.

Daryl walked over to the truck, slammed the passenger door closed and clicked the lock, the noise echoed in the silence. Then he climbed up the grass verge to where the woods began and gave her a nod. Scrambling less delicately Beth pulled herself up and climbed the small incline to where he was, she looked into the forest ominously. This is what he wanted to show her? The other reason they were here would be so he could kill her and leave her where no one could find her, but she liked to think they were past those thoughts of wanting to kill the other.

She struggled to keep up with him, weaving though the forestry overhead was much more difficult than he made it look. One thing was certain though, she was glad he told her to wear boots, even if they were Maggie's, a size too big and had socks stuffed into the toes. The boots made her slightly more clumsy, eventually she did fall over, grazing a knee. Daryl stopped then the pull her up and brush small stones and dirt of her palm, he was so gentle she couldn't find the words to say she was fine to carry on. Once he rested her hands lightly at her sides, he crouched down. Running a thumb over the hole in her jeans to check the small trickle of blood. She hadn't had this kind of injury since she was a child, and there was something amazingly freeing about that.

''Can I trust you to walk or do I need to carry you?'' His voice was rough still, but his lip twitched in a near smirk. Seeing him lightening up a bit signalled the end of his strop, though if he knew that's what she called his mood swings then he'd go and have another one.

''I can walk.'' She hated how small her voice was, how laced with pain it was. Not because she didn't feel a bit hurt and upset, but because she didn't want him to know she was feeling that. He got up and looked into her face, the eyes searching hers to judge where they were. Seemingly getting an answer he leant back to full height, his hands suddenly rummaging in his pockets.

''Want gum? I got some of the kid's kind- it's cherry flavoured.'' He handed out a small pink packet to her and she wanted to smile at how she had been thought of. But she tried to suppress the smile, folding her arms instead.

''I'm insulted you'd think I would get kid's gum.'' Her voice was obviously false, and it didn't take a second for his grin to match hers.

''What you buy the normal mint kind?'' He raised an eyebrow, mirroring her stance with crossed arms. Her face blushed and she looked away.

''No, I buy apple flavoured,'' her voice came out small and admittedly sheepish at him being right. ''And it ain't fer kids!'' Her voice was indignantly higher, playing the part of a losing argument.

''Tell me where abouts in the store it is then,'' Daryl raised his brows at her one last time before walking off, slowing down so she could keep up easier with him. He smirked and laughed at her explanation of how it wasn't the kid's part of the store just the candy section, which was obviously different. She had taken a piece now anyway, and he could smell the sickly tartness with everyword, he was weirdly enjoying it.

They talked until they reached the middle of the forest. They talked about cars and songs and films they'd both seen. The sound of the highway fading into total silence, the only noise being the noise of crunching leaves and twigs beneath footfalls. The trees grew sparse, a large circle of old firs and maple paying homage to an ancient oak. The sunlight streamed through the light canopy of leaves, bouncing bright greens and yellows across the forest floor and their arms. It took her breath away.

''This is my field.'' His voice was rough and quiet. Her mind instantly flashed to thoughts of laying in the field near the woods back home when she was sad, how she went there for solace and to feel like one person in an empty galaxy. But her field hand nothing like the enchanted potential of this place. The natural greens and streaming innocence of the unloved and unwatered ground. The reaching, aspiring branches of the oak, twisted in age and experience. This was his soul.

''It's beautiful,'' her voice came out as a whisper, soft and airy, as if anything might disturb the peace of the world. She wanted to die right then, so she would forever have the image of this place behind her eyelids, knowing that a person's field as Daryl called it, was the closest thing he could do to letting her in. and she was forgiven.

The place was unchanged after years and years of use. As a child Daryl often came here, whether he be scared or angry, the oak would hold him like a mother should until he was calm and safe. Then he'd go home. He didn't know why he brought Beth here. She was the first person other than him he had ever seen in this space, and rather than it being frighteningly claustrophobic as he feared she seemed to just fit.

It was as if this place had been waiting for Beth, the light refracting off leaves up her small frame, caressing her gentle curves and making her golden hair glow like a halo. The soft breeze brought the smell of open woodland and her shampoo, as if it were some natural combination. She made jeans look like nature, she made his heart ache with the beauty of it all together.

The oak stood out as a single tree, all the others backed off in a circle leaving a ring of bright sunlight around it. It was here that Beth lay on her back, looking into the clouded sky, admiring its cerulean tones. Small white daisies dotted around her like some convoluted tracing of a child. He lay down next to her, silent but for their soft panting breaths and the wind. Out here it was possible to believe you were the only ones in existence, in which society and communities and families didn't exist. It was just the two of them, trapped willingly in time.

''I wish I could live on a cloud.'' Beth whispered still, just saying it because she thought it. Daryl turned his head to face her, she still stared at the soft voluptuous structures. He wasn't surprised, nor did he think it implausible. After all angels were meant to live in the sky.

''I think I'd miss you.'' He was small-voiced and honest, terrified of saying it but meaning it nevertheless. It was silly because he had spent days upon days ignoring her, and years before that without knowledge of her existence. But now when she wasn't here, something was missing.

''You'd come with me, we'd have our own castle of cotton ball brick.'' It sounded so simple, so easy as if that was an option they could take. As if childish dreams were so easily revered to reality and purchasing a cloud home needed only a decisive nod. And he would, but did she, or was it just something she was saying for him?

''Sounds perfect.'' He held her hand gently, squeezing it lightly and giving her a small honest smile. Something about this place had, and always would, take every ounce of negativity and self-consciousness out of him. He never thought that this could be shared, in case this place was simply chalk waiting to be rained on, but Beth brought only more sun.

She looked across at him, eyes dark and content, the little smile as beautiful as it gets. Contentment, like a little cat on a radiator. He held out a hand to her, sitting up and pulling her up beside him.

''You need to see the best bit.'' He got to his feet, pulling her toward the old oak and looked up grinning. The low branch made it easy for Daryl to pull himself up, and the roots and knots made it possible for smaller lighter frames too. He had learnt that as a child, and Beth was slightly large than seven year old Daryl. Her clumsiness worried him a bit, but he stayed close to her, wrapping her hands around nearest branches so she could pull herself up. On the last branch he pushed her up and let her see.

Up here the apprehension disappeared, the fears of falling gone the second she saw and knew why he made her do this. If down there was a proverbial oasis. Up here was heaven. Oceans of blue sky stretched around, looping in a never ending circle of azure waves. She felt like a giant at the same time as being the smallest thing on the planet.

Back on the ground she had a new understanding of a man she thought she understood pretty well anyway. He was at home here, less tense and sure of himself. Holding a confidence that the living took out of him, and she had seen his back and guessed the rest, there was no wonder he hated people. She did too. The sun was leaving its high position, and trekking through the woods in the dark was a danger hazard for Beth. Time was running out.

So he kissed her gently, the warm sun heating her back and his strong arms so tenderly pulling her in. she felt like a princess, so unsure and pure.

It had always been hot and needy with Daryl, she needed the power and he was too used to needing to force affection upon someone. Where his hands and lips once left fiery trails of burning skin in their wake, they now left slow shivering goose-bumps. They took it slow, gentle and everything like it should have been when she was fifteen years old. Her voice cried out softly with pleasure, his head buried into her neck and hair.

He rolled onto his back, chest heaving and heart ready to burst. There had been years of movies and books full of bullshit about how gentle and loving it can be, but now he was thinking it wasn't bullshit at all. Somehow that action had been a promise between the two of them. The smell of grass and sweat wasn't a repulsive one, the layer of glistening sweat might have been her fairy dust, stretching across the delicate expanse of skin. And he realised for the first time how beautifully unblemished she was. In the past she had Zach's hand prints on her hips, cuts and bruises all over. But she was laying here now, head to toe one long unchanging shade of cream, only the interspersed tones of bright pink standing contrastingly in his mind.

He never wanted this moment to end, but life had to go on. And what reason at was there for life to go on without her as a part of that?

**_This chapter is really what I did as a child when we lived out in the countryside with no one else around (except the end bit don't worry), so…maybe a bit uncharacteristic but I think it's something Daryl also would do. Xxx _**


	24. Chapter 24

_**So I am so so so so so sorry. I've neglected this a bit longer than I really wanted to! I have many excuses 1) I got a bit to enthralled in my other tale 2) I loved my last chapter (so humble aren't i) and I don't wanna go downhill and that be my peak 3) I have trypanophobia and had to have a blood test 4) my poor mother wanted to see me 5) my poor boyfriend wanted to see me 6) I dropped cake batter all over my white kitchen took like a year to clean up. **_

Beth felt elated in a way she hadn't in a long time. She was free of everything. The dizzying feeling never left her as she got home and helped make dinner. Annette stared at her daughter, smirking at the recognition of that look in her eye. And honestly, it was such a nice change that she was really rather unwilling to say anything. Her husband wasn't so tactful however.

''What's with the humming, Bethy?'' Herschel took the bowl of potatoes form his youngest child and put some on his plate, looking up at her blushing face after he had finished to wait for an answer.

''The world's real pretty, daddy.'' Beth's voice was light and airy, and it was all she said. Grinning at everyone at the table, making them want to join in smiling at the same time as feeling uncomfortable with the change in demeanour.

Beth continued her happy streak taking two steps at a time up the stairs, dialling Daryl's number as she spoke. The phone dialled and died, she shrugged at the lack of answer, moving upstairs to get ready for work. She sang to herself and smiled at the smudge of mud on the back of her neck, knowing it was him. Did he feel like this too? Like some giddy child lost in a world of confusing admiration, feeling not good enough but unrejectable at the same time. Her heart could be made of glass.

She pulled on a tight blue dress, pushing her boobs up and smoothing over her bottom gently. She felt like she was on fire, the desirous flames in his eyes now licking her body in caressing confidence. She felt like she was sex on legs, and that made her smirk. The air could be his hands, and the very oxygen was him. Gosh, she had to get over herself.

Standing on stage brought a new sensation, this time she felt like she was here because she wanted to showcase herself. In a desperate way she felt the urge to perform because she felt good inside, not because the pain and worries manifested so much the spilled out to songs. But she played the set anyway, gently navigating the playlist and requests with pinpoint accuracy and adorable giddiness.

It felt ridiculous, being this happy over such small things. He might not feel the same, and they both had issues to work through. **It's hard letting go**. She had seen his back, twice now. It was unguarded allowance to seeing part of him he locked away in his chest. And that gave her confirmative ideas that he was rebuilding this alongside her. And somehow it felt good to know someone else was in construction. **I'm finally at peace, but it feels wrong. **He might never forgive her entirely for her past, but few people truly could. Hell, she'd never let herself forgive. **Slow I'm getting up, my hands and feet are weaker than before. **But even upon thinking that the unfathomable optimism coursed through her.

The crowds and slight sways of the audience for her chosen song made her smile. She wondered when this became so enjoyable, or maybe it always had been but she never admitted until now that she liked the attention. **And you are folded on the bed where I rest my head. **She had his attention too, the consummation of that only hours ago. And he was embedded within her now. Where would he be now? Thinking it over perhaps at home on the sofa, in the shower washing off the traces of their fidelity.

And it could all be in eclipsed blackness, but she still thought everyone would see the telltale signs of her glowing. Radiating inside out, in total juxtaposition of her life's choices. **Darkness becomes me. **And it wouldn't, because it couldn't, last forever. But right now she was happy, and contented. That satisfaction filling her like a home cooked meal after a long diet.

She wondered what he would think. About them. **There's nothing that I'd take back, **how could there be? She had that glorious afternoon basking in the light of imperfection with him. She had been let in, the most precious gift he could give her. It intertwined their everything. **But it's hard to say there's nothing I regret. **They say time brings forgiveness with it, but how true can that be? Some scars never heal and some hurts can never be forgiven.

**No matter where I sleep, you are haunting me. **His eyes were in the blue hues of clouded castles and the reflection of her dress in the cocktail glasses of those who cheered her, unknowingly seeing the jigsaw piece of puzzlement that was Beth Greene. And they loved her, but they could never love _**her.**_

And she wondered if he could ever love someone as broken and tormented by demons as he was, because they matched entirely. His back was a reflection of her mind, and vice versa. The scarred flesh was invisibly visible in the light, in the dark, in the question of all this stuff unknown.

**Cause I'm already there. Wherever there is you, I will be there too.**

Beth got off stage, a huge weight lifted off her shoulders, that buzzing feeling still coursing through her veins. As a teen her friends would tell her how guys like liked in Spanish or chemistry would give them that look, give folded pieces of paper across desks that made their hearts flutter as if a caged lark was inside waiting to sing out. She got that now. And so perhaps it was her wishful thinking that the strong muscled arms that grabbed her before she got to the backroom-dressing room were those belonging to a certain Daryl Dixon.

She indeed turned around to face cold icy eyes and a signature bad boy smirk, his voice would be of that un-duplicable Georgia twang, and the clothes were the same. But it wasn't him, and although she may get half points- because this was a Dixon- it wasn't the right one. Merle.

Beth felt her body shift away from him on instinct, her eyes wide and childlike from being off guard. If she were Maggie it would be 0 to glare in less than two seconds. Her discomfort made him smirk.

''Darlin', you're doin' pretty well I see,'' Merle smiled, gleaming teeth reminding her of the kids stories of wolves. What big teeth you've got. And it wouldn't surprise her if he did just that.

''What are you after?'' She wanted to sound authoritative, but it came out as a high pitched squeak. She sounded younger than she was, seeing him made her feel fifteen and vulnerable again. Why was he here? She had thought, and hoped, that after that summer he could disappear for good. He would become a figment of a long lost dream and Beth could have some self-value. As of yet, that plan hadn't worked too well.

''Don't be like that, we used to have fun- remember all the fun we used to have.'' He saw her flinch, and knowing he had cornered his prey he managed to step closer, inconspicuously covering the view of her small frame from the bar, it looked like she had gone off stage when she was meant to. He leant in closer quieter voice with the same dirty sneer whispering, ''does your boss know about your insatiable drug habit, poppit?''

His tone might have been casual, conversational even, but the familiar glint of a master at work was in his eyes. Swallowing felt a lot harder than usual. Shakily Beth opened the door to the backroom, holding open for him to slip in. This could get a lot more private with Merle's innate ability to be uncouth.

She walked in behind him, locking the door with a small click, the backdoor would be better for escapes anyway. She wanted to chide herself for thinking about emergency escapes. Not because she doubted the need to have one in a room with Merle, but because she had this paranoid fear he knew what she was thinking and he'd get angry. Zach's punches she could take, but Merle would break a bone when he was mad. And after all, he had no reason to be nice to her now she wasn't giving him instantaneous satisfaction on a mattress.

Beth took out her earrings, setting the dropping diamanté gleamingly into a small dish, one by one. The mirror was propped up on an only bar stool, she used this to look at Merle, feeling too much like he had medusa-esque power over her if she looked directly at him. Like the sun. Or a ventriloquist with his puppet- yes, that's what she wanted to avoid.

''We should have fun again, angel.'' He smirked and waggled those eyebrows at her, probably already slavering over ideas in his mind.

He couldn't help but notice she had grown, there was a self-dependent element to her now, a contemplation and deepness that escaped her as a flaxen haired teen. Her small curves weren't much compared to others, but the soft transition of them definitely stood out in contrast to her jutting bones as a child. She was woman, through and through. But still looked the part of a naïve and easy prey- it was those round eyes. Even with heavy kohl Beth looked perfectly _**doable**_. And it would be a lie to say he wasn't thinking of how he'd have her first.

''No thank you, Merle.'' Her voice was quiet but firm, expelled politely as she had been brought up to do so. Childishly she hoped it would calm him down and they could treat this as simply an offer and a refusal. Of course, Merle didn't take it that way.

''This because of my brother? - Well, is it?'' Merle looked at her, and the intensity and flash of anger made her shake her head slowly at him, her cheek brushing her shoulder as she pointedly looked away still. ''Don't lie to me, honey. You know his downstairs is tiny right? Ain't gonna satisfy a piece like you- he ain't nothing compared to the original, huh? We don't even got to tell him.''

''No.'' Beth turned around sharply, looking him straight in the eye, ''No 'fun' and definitely no secrets from Daryl.'' Her mind flashed back to his face that day outside, and then she felt anger at the fact that Merle had ruined her perfectly good confession. Because Merle was like that, he ruined things. He ruined her life, her health and her psychological stability- not to mention her chances with possibly the best guy she ever had going for her. Now he was trying to ruin her perfectly good respectable job, she was getting somewhere. And it only made sense he'd be the one to try and drag her down.

Merle looked taken aback, shocked at tone, but she seemed shocked as well. So the little lady wanted to play, well it was her own problem. That blue body-con dress and those baby eyes got everyman in the gut, she was a tease. And she loved the attention. He stepped forward, convinced she was playing hard to get. She took a corresponding step back and it made him a bit hot inside, annoyed that she was doing this. The Beth he created had always been so willing, so spineless, so easy.

He took a step forward holding her forearms gently but firmly, preventing her escape. Her tensing up allowed him to slip one arm around her tiny frame to prey on her ass. Leaning in, he grinned, confidently cocky he still had it going for him. This was going to be the kiss that reunited them. But instead he felt a sharp burn across the side of his face. Beth seemed just as surprised as he did, but her hand was raised still in the air and the noise reverberated off the walls. Anger flashing madly he was ready to do or say something when he felt a steady grip tightening on his shoulder.

_**Daryl's chapter next! We really should find out why on earth he let his brother come here?! Silly, Daryl. Sorry again for the delay!**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Dah-dah! Thank you so much my lovely reviewers and supporters, as always you are very nice. **_

Daryl groaned loudly, his head was pounding and his stomach felt nauseated. He had been drunk, the familiar shitty dizziness told him that much. And what's worse the latter part of the evening was still a messy blur. He wanted to think about it, but the drilling in his temples made it possible to only lie there and try not to throw up. The alarm clock silently flashed 11.11 am at him, but he dozed off again anyway slipping into the familiarity of unconsciousness.

He woke later, a few more hours of the day missed. His body protested at the movement, muscles burning with fatigue and stillness, but it would forgive him when he found the pain killers. A shower and a brush of teeth made him feel clean again. If not totally better the evidence of drunkenness was gone from everything but his eyes and his expression. The living room was filled with bottles of cheap American beer and a clear jar of his father's moonshine.

Trust Merle to get in here and get him drunk. But something seemed weird that Merle had only tried to do that much, in fact the moonshine would always knock Daryl out cold, always had. So why had he wanted Daryl knocked out? Sighing to himself Daryl went to check his wallet for money and fridge for food, both were still full. Ok, so there were two options here. Either his brother had finally turned a corner in his pathetic substance abused life, or there was something else Merle had wanted that didn't have material means.

He pulled orange juice out the fridge, gulping it out the carton. Carol would kill him to see him do something like that, she had little quirks but thank god she hadn't seen the state of him. He sat at the counter, taking another swig and pulling his phone across from where it was plugged in at the wall. And that's when he knew something was wrong.

Ten missed calls and three messages. His heart stopped, he was never this popular. Ignoring the numerous texts he listened to Beth's first message.

_**Hey Daryl, it's Beth- uh, I don't have to say which Beth I am do I? It's Beth Greene- oh dear, I'm sorry I'm being all nervous and stuff, I just wanted to say thanks for the day out- it was all lovely and hopefully we can do it again, unless you don't want to- in which case umm tell me? I- uh-yeah, bye- it's Beth by the way. **_

Daryl smiled at her voice, the clumsy declarations of her admitted nervousness making him smile more than strictly necessary. Hearing her sound so young and happy made him feel better about the next message, she probably called up to apologise for the first message again. Phew, for a moment there he thought something was wrong. Relaxing in his chair and sipping more juice he played the next message from Beth.

_**Daryl- oh- I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry- I don't know how it happened. Merle was here, and I wanted you to know- oh shit that's the last bus- call me. **_

The smile vanished as soon as he heard her tone. The nauseated feeling returned within an instant of hearing merles name mentioned. Why the fucking hell did everything go well until his brother get involved? Not wanting to admit it Daryl was scared to press the little green button and call her back. They had just fixed this and perhaps this was too soon to patch anything up. Ignorance would be nicer for him, but even then he'd be paranoid. So he called.

The dialling tone went on far too long, he itched to shut it off and go to bed where he head could make up some horrendous stories about Beth cheating on him within twenty hours of their relationship. Wait, what? They weren't going out- his stomach felt heavy and his mouth dry at the thought. It brought up too many questions about what they were. Certainly he wasn't opposed to the idea, and she hadn't seemed repulsed either but-

''Hello?'' her voice scared him out of his train of thought. He shook his head violently to dislodge any remaining dreams to focus on getting his heart broken instead.

''Daryl?'' her voice seemed tentative, wondering most likely if he was mad. No, give her a chance to explain what happened first.

''Hey- I got yer message, so im callin'.'' He was biting his thumb nail at this point, already pulling the power cord out to pace round the kitchen island.

''Oh. Well umm I'll just out with it- give me two ticks and I'll be where there's some _**privacy,**_'' he heard her gentle voice heavily stress at an invisible Maggie, then a series of little light footsteps on stairs and the door shutting behind her. ''Seriously woman- anyway, sorry, I'm here. Merle showed up at work yesterday.''

''What does that mean? How does he even know where you work?'' his was aware his voice was rather accusatory and the questions too quick to answer, but his impatience was getting the better of him.

''I don't know do I, its not like I invited him!'' she sounded exasperated at him tone, he could imagine her throwing her hands up with aggressive assertion.

''What did 'e want?'' he sighed loudly, so much that she must have heard it. But he managed to get his voice down to a less forceful tone.

''What do you think he wanted, Daryl?'' she sighed back at him, he could hear her small footsteps pacing in time with his. Sex, Merle would have wanted sex.

''And?'' Daryl was afraid to ask, and afraid to know. He braced himself for the inevitable heartbreak that was his existence, hoping he hadn't had all the whiskey and beer last night because he might need it now.

''And?! You seriously think id fuck him again? Really, after everything I just- uhhh! How can you even ask that of me?'' Beth had never sounded so frantically terrifying, her footsteps had stopped or her voice now covered their noise as she barraged him with hurtful questions. But although he did care that she was mad, he was smiling a bit inside that her reaction was so strong. Beth was still his,

''Ok, sorry.'' Daryl knew he had to stop this before Beth talked herself into a fight with him, it was easy to see how he might have offended her. She was silent on the line after a final humph. ''Look Beth, really I'm sorry. I am. Just tell me what he said.''

''He threatened to tell my boss about some of my past choices unless I slept with him.'' her voice sounded quiet and a bit shaky as if she was trying to play it off as nothing big. The flame of anger grew a bit bigger on the additional details, being fed inside him.

''So how did you get away?'' He leant against the counter, holding the bridge of his nose, the pacing had made him dizzy.

''I may have slapped him-'' Beth coughed slightly, sounding worryingly sheepish. It took a moment for Daryl to change is face expression of total disbelief and stutter out his thoughts.

''Really? Lucky you- what I wouldn't give to give him a right hook about now.'' His voice growled, and he tried to suppress it in case it worried her with its aggression.

''the bouncer lady came in, she overheard some of the conversation- but its ok she's really nice and she got Merle out on his ass.'' Beth huffed out air from where he imagined she had thrown herself onto a sofa or bed somewhere. His mind was trailing off to wondering if she was fiddling around with stuff because she was nervous too, or if she could take phone conversations with a pinch of salt.

''So you're ok?'' he tilted his head with the question, slightly embarrassed to ask but needing to be insistent.

''Yeah I'm fine. Michonne, the bouncer, she sat with me after and told me about her little boy until my next bus was due.'' She sounded calmer, as if telling him took a load off, which it most likely had.

''Good t'hear it, Beth. I'm sorry 'bout my brother-'' he wanted to say so much but she cut him off.

''No apologising for him remember- anyway I gotta go Maggie is being insufferable, she wants the basement for when her boyfriend comes over. '' firstly her voice was chidingly serious then moving to sound teasingly annoyed, as if a plan was already in motion to get her sister back for this.

Daryl said his goodbyes and hung the phone up, staring at it dejectedly. His body was shaking a little bit form the anger, he really didn't think it was a good idea to see Merle anytime within the next ten years. The culmination of what he learnt yesterday and today were going to be playing.

See Merle had been here last night. But he seemed to know Daryl was already drunk on happiness and whiskey alone on the couch to celebrate a good day out with his Beth. And he arrived, and for some reason drunk Daryl let himself be taken in by the long nothing of an apology. The offer of beer might have been the reason. If not the fact that Daryl seemed to always let Merle have another one chance no matter what he had done. He blamed the early indoctrination of being told that blood is thicker than water and you had to protect your family. Even if your family are drunks or druggie who hit you where it hurts repeatedly.

As luck would have it his phone flashed, determinedly telling Daryl that he had another message to listen to yet. He figured it was Beth again after she got home to reinforce the message. Maybe her voice would calm him down a bit so he pressed play. The voice of his brother made his want to stab something but he couldn't turn it off quick enough.

_**Morning Little Brother, remember you're taking dad and me to Dale's this afternoon. Pick us up at 3. **_

Daryl groaned loudly, Merle not only must have come over here to ask him this yesterday when he was drunk and wouldn't remember , just to piss him off. He could've called, but that wasn't destructive enough. Pulling on trousers and a shirt, because he couldn't think of a way out of it if he had said yes. Jack was an arse and Merle was a dick, they made the full set and together he couldn't deal with them so he always gave in.

Think about the positives. And that was the route he took. Merle seemed to realised Daryl knew why he had a slightly pink cheek and smug expression, but chose to keep his life by not driving Daryl to drive them into the path of oncoming traffic. Thankfully, Jack was in the front so Merle couldn't grab the wheel or change the radio stations.

Dale lived about 45 minutes away, but Daryl was willing to drive twice the limit to get there sooner. Daryl had no problems with Dale, in fact found it hard to believe that his father could have a nice brother at all. As a child, Uncle Dale visiting was the best experience. He and Merle would be spoiled by affection and conversation. Dale obviously knew what was happening but he was busy with his terminally ill wife Irma. Aunty Irma was a good baker, from what Daryl remembered, her illness meant that she and Dale went on long road trips across the country in a rickety old motorhome. It was sad to think now how Daryl resented her dying for his own personal reasons- if Dale wasn't nearby they had no one to call. But all that was the past, and the man had become one of Daryl's only good family members.

They pulled up at the small grey house, shutting off the engine Daryl was the first out and inside the house. He gave his uncle a warm hug. Dale for his part patted his nephew's back and looked at him with wise knowing eyes. Something was up.

''So, what's new?'' Dale asked whilst handing out mugs of coffee to his guest. It didn't escape Daryl's notice that he was using the old mugs from the back of the cupboard reserved for potential breakages. He didn't blame him either. Daryl listened to his father complain about imaginary pains he had and the health system and then Merle talk about his latest time inside.

''And with you Daryl?'' Dale asked kindly, passing the last biscuit to him. Daryl merely shrugged, waiting to leave. Were the clocks slower in here?

''Got himself a lil piece, ain't he?'' Merle smirked, unable to control himself.

''You still seeing her after she tore you and yer brother up and she slapped 'im?'' Jacks voice held enough contempt to let Daryl know exactly how he thought of his youngest son, not that he hid it at any other point. Also it told him that Jack knew everything.

''Did you ask why she had to slap 'im?'' Daryl was feeling trapped, lost in a room of conspirators. Trust his father to side with merle.

''If you didn't want me to see 'er then you should'na told me where she works, baby brother.'' Merle smugly chuckled at the shocked look on Daryl's face. A memory was struggling to beat repression, niggling at him that he might have in fact told merle. He was definitely drunk enough yesterday. It wouldn't be a farfetched conclusion by any means to think that the non-material goods Merle wanted yesterday might have been information on Beth.

The two of them were chest to chest, glaring at each other with distinct hatred. Daryl fist twitched wanting to punch his brother so badly. But Dale managed to manoeuvre himself so he got them separate and suggested that Daryl left, and that he would drive them home. Daryl nodded thankful, giving a small smile to the man who occasionally made it better.

Dale walked him to his truck. He patted Daryl's back warmly, not hiding the fact he was his favourite nephew at all.

''You should come up and look at the RV sometime, the engine clicks a bit. Look Daryl, I know I wasn't there when you were young, but I am now. Don't listen to Merle or your father, just go home to this girl of yours. Hey, maybe bring her with you when you fix up the RV, I don't see you enough.'' Dale smiled knowingly, if anyone got what an arsehole brother was it was him. He affectionately patted to bonnet of his truck in an old worldly kind of way, holding up a hand in goodbye. Daryl simply nodded and got on to the freeway.

He reached the edge of town and decided against his apartment instead turning onto the grey stretch of road that led to Greene farm. He pulled up at the white farm house, staring up at it like it was a fortress to penetrate. Now he was here he had no idea what to say or if I was alright for him to just turn up. His palms felt sweaty and his mouth equally dry.

He must have sat there long enough for Beth to notice his truck and run out. She was dressed in small purple shorts and a tank top, a worried expression on her make-up adorned face and half curled hair. She was pulling trainers on and clambering down the steps as he got out the truck. He crossed the space between the porch and his car door, throwing his arms around her. He held her tightly to him, pressing his lips longingly against hers, taking out all the aggression in a kiss.

It took no time for her to wrap her arms around his neck and lean up willingly for more. He pulled back after a few minutes, simply taking her in. Her hair was a mess from where his hands had threaded through it, cheeks incriminatingly red and lips matching. Her small chest heaved, not wearing a bra, but he didn't care right now, because she was perfect.

''I was just thinking earlier, I never asked you out properly, did I?'' He grinned at her, and she simply beamed back.

_**This was so much longer than I thought, sorry for all the dialogue! xxx**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**It has got to the point I have a jar of Nutella and a little stack of bread next to me- just one of those days I guess. So your update-y date- warning I'm away for most of this week in France, I'll be back Monday but there will be no updates, however cause I love you all I will try to update on Thursday before I leave the country and then asap on Monday (I feel like I'm leaving a baby behind) xxx**_

Beth's teeth bit her lower lip to stop the loud squeal of mirth tumbling out, she was sure he was here about the Merle thing, but it seemed to have only consolidated where they were. She tip-toed back to kiss his lips, gently pressing them back together, letting the passion start to rise again. His hand held warmly to the back of her neck, purposely tangling his long fingers through her hair so she couldn't escape. She didn't want to.

Eventually the sharp noise of a wolf whistle alerted her to Maggie. Beth wanted to hold up a middle finger and continue her kiss, but Daryl had shied away at an audience and her father was around somewhere ready to pop out if she swore.

Daryl looked up to the house where Maggie and Glenn were stood on the porch, the sight of his co-worker startled him, and he could see the exact moment Glenn recognised him. Beth's hand found his and instinctively he held back, not registering the gesture or his red face. He wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, even more so if he was involved. But Beth was happy and smiling rather than embarrassed, she led him like a stray puppy up the steps of her enchanted house to trap him inside forever.

Glenn swallowed, his entire body followed Daryl found until the door shut. The he span back to Maggie who, not knowing the issue, merely shrugged and muttered something about little sisters growing up. Beth was like 10! Ok, so maybe that was a bit hyperbolic. But she looked and acted so little, it perhaps didn't help that Maggie always referred to her as about a six year old. But there undeniable depth of age in the way she would look at things and she had to be somewhat similar to the age of Maggie. Still, Daryl. Of all the things he thought Daryl wanted with the little blonde thing he occasionally saw opening the door for him or fighting with Maggie for a remote like kids, this was the very last he suspected. He took Daryl as a 'love 'em and leave 'em' type, if he wasn't in fact totally asexual. There had been many offers over the years in the shop from pretty women, but Daryl made no move, not even on the gay ones. But he seemed softer when holding her, and despite the creepiness, he thought Daryl and Beth might be each other's keeper.

Daryl tried, so very hard not to look at Beth's ass as she practically skipped away. The giddiness that made him want to hold her to him, made her hips sway, so other parts of him wanted to do other things. But Herschel was in the kitchen, the same room Daryl had been sat on a chair and left. The noise of the kettle was the only thing besides the old kitchen clock making any noise. Herschel looked at him, and try as he might it was impossible not to look back. So they were there, staring at each other, in silence. Eventually the kettle whistle lightly, rattling on the hob to give attention that it was done. This was when Hershel turned around, filling two mugs with water and draining tea bags. The smell of peppermint hit Daryl as he decided he should do something honourable.

''Sir, I-'' Daryl cleared his throat, he hadn't ever had this particular speech with a father, so his premise was ashamedly going to be very film based.

''Don't worry about it Dixon, my daughter has done a sore sight worse than you before.'' The elderly man nodded at Daryl, sharing some of that warmth he had when they first met, pre-sleeping with his youngest daughter. Herschel picked up the tray, slowly padding away. Daryl refused to breathe again until the last muffled steps had finished up the stairs and made the floor boards creak above him.

His sigh of relief still seemed too loud in the large empty room. He took the rest of his waiting time to look around from where he was sat. Secretly he had always loved being in other people's homes, usually the people themselves were pretty annoying, but he enjoyed being part of a household nevertheless. He liked to look at the drawings and collected bits and bobs, the need to have coloured band aids on the side board because they were needed more frequently than a draw allowed for. Or the way dust would collect on little stacks of cereals on top of cupboards because it was on offer, again, and you never know when someone will want six boxes of frosties. Even without the Greene's, the distinct feeling of a home pulled together firmly by matched pain and equal measures of love lay present. And he wanted that. But it wasn't something you chose to have, so Daryl took it whenever he could, pretending that he was five again and sucking in the atmosphere.

Beth's loud and odd footsteps could be heard only a second before she rounded the kitchen door, settling her stuff on the table carelessly. She had changed upstairs, now wearing a tight black pencil skirt, heels and glittering beaded top. Personally he liked her low maintenance look in shorts and no bra, but the view of her dressed up wasn't bad either, so he wouldn't complain. That's when he realised she was needing to go to work, it was Saturday.

She set about gently brushing her hair and re-curling sections he had messed up with his hands, and the half she hadn't done when he arrived. He watched in fascination of what she had to go through to go on stage, knowing she would prefer to do it naturally. She caught his mesmerised thoughtful look and beamed at him, leaning to the side to kick him playfully on the leg. He looked into the kitchen mirror to catch her eyes in the reflection.

''You talked to Merle?'' Her voice was curious not malicious, as if she already had guessed that's where he had been since the phone call three hours ago. She sighed at him name in obvious still perpetuating annoyance.

''Yeah, we're not going to talk about it,'' Daryl looked away from her curious gaze, he didn't want to offend her but he was still too close to punching something to relive that particular memory so soon. He picked up random stuff, reading it though it was all basically in gibberish to him anyway. He sighed wanting to open up to her, she couldn't be this person she had to be more. So he pushed himself, and despite the pitiful results he was actually sort of hopeful. ''It's why I came here, got a bit angry. My uncle invited us over in a few weeks if you wanted to go-'' so he kind of did it, but he then led onto another conversation. One that made him feel sure he was going to get rejected like the fat kid asking the cheerleader at junior prom.

''Invited _**us**_? I like the sound of that.'' Beth picked up on his trepidation, taking a small smile from him.

''Ok question,'' Daryl sat up, his fingers stopped clicking and unclicking the top of a lotion bottle he had picked up whilst thinking to fiddle with.

''Answer.'' She smiled at his flash of confusion, before letting him continue.

''what's with your sister and Glenn?'' Daryl honestly had no idea how that had happened, like sure maybe they could work, but last he heard Glenn was only a fan of Maggie's 'Greene Arse Syndrome' (thank the God who gave them that) and not necessarily her personality.

''Oh you know him? They met shopping a few days ago and haven't stop talking since, I swear he's going to move in at this rate.'' Beth smiled gently, brushing her lashes with a last coating of mascara. They went into further casual conversation, her touching up the make-up and eventually just fiddling with her own stuff on the table. They were both aware the time was coming for her to leave, but Daryl offered to drive her to give them another ten minutes at the table and then additional time in the car.

At once the road was less depressing simply for her being beside him, laughing at her own awful jokes and telling him sorties of Maggie's adventurous past. They rolled up to the bar and he parked, letting her lean across to give a devilish kiss like high schoolers before a class apart. She made a small noise of reverberating contentedness.

''You could come watch y'know, then we could go to yours? After all it was you who got me the job.'' She gave him a cheeky grin, opening the car door to not pressure him into an answer he didn't want to give. Inside she was terrified he was going to reject her pretty obvious invitation. However Daryl was busy reminding himself that she didn't know he had been there before to hear her, and for the mean time he didn't want to say that. It would be his style to get an angel like Beth and then blow it by sounding like a stalker.

''Only found it for ya, and sure- I'd love ta.'' His mouth was doing this relentless smiling thing that he couldn't control, but the look she gave him after that statement was a promise of happiness to later come so he stopped fighting it.

Watching Beth sing was chillingly and hauntingly dream like. He wasn't part of himself when that small voice was amplified, and what was better was that the appreciative looks and claps made him feel warm for her and made him feel pretty smug for snagging her too. Beth deserved this. And maybe it was subjective viewing but this time more than the last there was an unmistakable aura around her. She was going to be the death of him.

They practically dragged each other up his apartment stairs like a couple of excited children, kicking the door open and ignoring the smell of stale booze from the array of yet untidied bottles from last night. Beth had practically just finished her show, but already she lay on his bed, panting and laughing as he tickled her mercilessly.

She rolled over, pinning him under her easily. He gave an adorable half smile to her, and made her laugh again as he raised an eyebrow to the sound of her heavy heels landing on the floor. Sitting up straight Beth pulled her top over her head, leaning back to give him a good view. He groaned lightly, subconsciously wetting his bottom lip and tightening his grip on her white thighs. His hands trailed up, pushing the stretchy material of her skirt up with him until he could see the matching set.

''You planned this?'' His hand trailed up the pink and cream lace, pulling at the ruched strap adorned with a satin bow, whilst his other found the apex of her legs. He left a trail of hot kisses down her shoulder, his mind reeling with thoughts that she had got him into a corner he didn't want to fight out of. Hell, he could get used to women wearing their best lingerie and seducing him more often, helps to keep the doctor away.

''Guilty as charged.'' And with that she ground herself against him, pressing her lips hungrily back to his. Because he was the giver of life and she was simply his sycophant.

_**Yeah- it's all smush, so sue me! xxx**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**This is going to have to be quick, I'm meant to be headed to my weekend away, wales, England and France in one week *phew*- I'm so sad about not being able to write for four days, but may not have finished packing yet- can I do this in under 30 minutes? Shall we see?! I'll stop after the time. **_

Daryl had the familiarity of Beth waking up next to him, he wanted to smile and replay last night, again and again and again until the world ended, or they passed out. She was perfectly stretched out beside him, sleeping still with a contended smile on her lips. He could see when she was in the light her skin glowed like that of some ethereal creature, but up close you could make out silvers scars from years upon years of abusing herself and letting others abuse her. He wanted to know every story behind every small silvery unseeable scar. Simply because they reminded him what he was not, he scars were ugly and marred out for the world to see- he couldn't hide his abuse. But hers were there if you knew it.

His finger traced a long silvery line like an old hair across the bottom of her stomach near her hips, it travelled the entire length, straight and precise. It was the greatest imperfection. She wiggled ticklish at his touch, eyes opening blearily to the sight of him lying naked on top of the covers a guilty look on his face and his hand on her stomach.

Beth never had been afraid of nakedness, particularly if Daryl could deal with it. The room was perfectly safe for them both, they allowed each other in here because the walls couldn't share their secrets.

''Where's it from?'' he looked up at her, voice still groggy with sleep. His finger subconsciously traced the line again, slower this time, it seemed to radiate an inner heat.

''Rock bottom.'' She didn't blink, or make any move, as if that was information enough. Even so, she must have pre-empted his curiosity in some way.

''Thought I was there for rock bottom?'' he mumbled looking back at her. She must have seen his confused face because she smiles sweetly, her lips being far too red against her fair skin, shaking her little blonde head.

''That was rock level 2- this was ground floor.'' She yawned, arms stretched over her head letting him appreciate the view. Noticing his eyes she smiled, leaning down to kiss shim softly. He might have thought he saw a glimmer of total sadness in her eyes, but she was clever enough to distract him. Climbing on top of him gently and slowly. They became a messy pile of limbs together again.

The gesture almost shouted the need to leave the topic alone or she'd stop what she was doing right now, so he put it in a box, trusting her to tell him later today perhaps. He understood time, but he didn't want secrets. However, Beth was resolute that particular back story was never passing her lips to him.

After she got up languidly, her limbs all soft and graceful. She wasn't of this earth he decided, her movements were too calculated, precise and ordered as if she knew just what she was doing to the millimetre she did it too. But when she lost control, when her face blotched red and angry and she shouted, arms flying wildly- that's when she was prettiest. By day Beth was like a porcelain doll, and he knew she hated that. But she simply look breakable- and he so badly feared smashing her but at the same time knew that cracked beauty would free her somewhat from all this.

He watched her get her undressed self in the shower, then use his tooth brush without asking. That reminded him of the first times he slept over, how she wouldn't touch anything without asking for total fear. He was happy he ever got to see Beth for what she obviously was. When she wasn't acting, she was hilariously low key.

''Let's go to breakfast,'' he stood in the doorway, watching her from bathroom doorway. His towels dwarfed her and her wet hair was almost brown form the damp water, but he could hear her stomach growl form here. With a mouthful of toothpaste suds she simply nodded and turned back to the sink. He looked at her and then the toothbrush, she looked at her hand and shrugged at him.

''You know where my mouth's been,'' she smirked and happily skipped out. He felt his jaw drop and he felt disgusted and turned on at the same time. Damn that girl. He hurriedly got ready coming out to find her in the same tight black skirt as last night, but she had 'borrowed' a shirt, tied it into a little knotted top and smiled at him.

He rose an eyebrow, giving her a look of obvious wonder what he owned that she wasn't going to use. He didn't care though, that shirt was going to smell of her when he got it back. But Daryl was ignorant to the fact that particularly sleeveless gingham shirt was never going to be back in his possession again.

She looked messy, but in a weirdly hot way. The animalistic side of him loved to see her in his shirt, like he owned her. No one could bridle Beth Greene, but he at least gave the impression he had, he liked that. He pulled on his own clothes, catching glimpses of her darkened face in the mirror, but when he turned there would always be a bright smile.

He hated that she could do that, he couldn't even sense it in her eyes-they were crystal blue and total clear of any guilt or sadness. So he offered her his hand a bit embarrassingly, she took it and they walked out together, ready to face the adventure of a highway diner pancake stack.

_**Ok so that was 30 minutes worth, it's like a half chapter! I'm going to miss you all, and I'm sorry this was rushed and there will be mistakes! xxx**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Sorry for my absence- you wouldn't believe how busy I've been. However, this weekend I was a princess in Disneyland so you can't possibly be mad at my tardiness. xxx**_

Beth's eluding of all problems seemed totally natural to her. By the time that they got into the car and her seatbelt was securely steadfast, Beth was unwaveringly smiling to herself. Daryl pulled his own belt across, roaring the engine to life and pulling out onto the road. He smirked at her quiet singing under her breath as she slowly turned the volume up on the radio.

It was nearer to lunch than breakfast, but it didn't matter, because Daryl had had a brilliant morning. One which left him ravenous and thirsty. The small diner was only going to be a ten minute drive, it was the place he, Carol and Sophia used to meet up at before the cheaper alternative of his apartment came to light. He hadn't gone for a while, hadn't really had a reason to, but it was filling and good if not cheap.

Beth simply continued singing as they pulled up at the small colourful diner, she pushed stray hairs out from around her face and got out the car. He smiled at her almost ridiculous walk-of-shame-esque outfit, but somehow she pulled it off, maybe because she was simply Beth. The heels pushed the outfit into a slutty vibe, obvious to adults what they had done. Daryl, who usually was shy about his exploits, couldn't find it in him to be anything but proud that the purples mark on her neck was his doing. Beth simply brushed off the looks from the older more rigid minded clientele and sat heavily in a booth, sighing at the release from stuttering around in heels.

He smirked at her, and she grinned back in cheeky giddiness. This amount of perfection of a stable life, home and dare he say it relationship was totally new to him, something he couldn't think back to ever having. So he watched her lean back with what he was sure was a sickening expression one has when they're falling hard for the other.

The waitress came over, her blonde hair failing to cover the darker roots, but it was pulled back into a clean ponytail that swung back and forth as she walked over, pencil and pad in hand. It was impossible to notice the roots issue with the tight powder blue uniform that revealed an all too familiar body. The bright red lip-sticked smile was toothy and dropped the second she saw Daryl.

Daryl's face dropped in an automatically twinned way as he looked up in disbelief. The brown eyebrow of hers arched upwards in pissed-off shock, as his mind tried not to remember pushing her against his car and then leaving her in the parking lot all alone.

''Andy- I thought you were working at that law firm-'' his voice was awkward and forcefully repressing the shock. His tone made Beth look up, her mouth a small 'o' and eyes obviously scrutinising the situation.

''I was, I see you read the card I left. The one with my number on it. If you really care, my car broke down and I need to pay to have it fixed, so I'm taking a second job.'' Andrea gave a bitter smile, the look on her face was one of swallowing down all the pride she had. Beth felt awkward for her. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Daryl had slept with this woman, and he hadn't called her back- what a dickhead. Still, she mused smugly, she got a call back.

The three of them remained silent for a few moments. Daryl's head nodded subconsciously with the gaudy music, twiddling his thumbs. Andrea simply jutted out a hip, posed her pencil to the pad and gestured exasperatedly at Daryl to say his order. It would be for the best they ended this reunion before her emotions got the better of her and she shouted at her customer.

''I'll take coffee and pancakes.'' Daryl coughed awkwardly, looking intently at his hands on the table. Beth hid her smile and sweetly asked for the same, trying to stifle her high pitched squeals of laughter as Andrea walked away. Daryl looked up at her with a sheepish but inquisitive look.

Beth simply raised her eyebrows, making him rub his face to make the redness go away. Had his morning really started so well? The wet curls of Beth's hair were bright blonde again, falling around her hair which created a curtain for her hide behind. She took out her phone from her bra, earning a look from Daryl who dint understand how she got it in there, and texted slowly. He silence was excruciating, her cool behaviour throwing him totally off. Women and their games. Eventually he caught her gaze.

''You could've offered to fix her car, it is your job.'' Beth shrugged at him, placing the phone on the table so Daryl could see the word 'daddy' on the top of her text list, making him inwardly smile at her childishness.

''She wouldn't have taken it- we uh, didn't leave on good terms.'' He muttered to himself, taking it the look of 'you don't say' that Beth so eagerly supplied. He was vaguely amused and pissed that she found this thing so hilarious. But inwardly was more relieved it wasn't a jealous reaction, not that she could talk. After all her past lover had been his brother, and there wasn't much worse that one could do.

''Really? That shocks me, she seemed so into you-'' Beth smiled widely, and he couldn't help smiling back whilst telling her to shut her face because Andrea was coming back. The slamming of coffee on the table so it over spilt only made Beth do a Daryl and look at her hands so the waitress couldn't see the smirk.

The little blonde on the table was getting breakfast. What's more she was getting showers and his shirt after a dirty night. She hadn't gotten so much as a goodbye as she removed herself from his bed and left her number on random surfaces. What was so special about her? Obviously she was young and pretty, but that didn't seem enough to make a man like Daryl give up on his old ways of one nighters with the same desperate women. Andrea realised she was staring, shooting laser daggers at the girl who changed him. Sighing to herself she stood up, placing their order.

Part of her knew she had no right or claim over him. It was fair play of that girl (for that's all she really was) to swoop in and take him. But she was bitter, wondering if she was the reason he so cruelly pushed her off last time they met. It was all going to shit of late, so begrudge her begrudging the happiness of other bums like her in the world. He got a girlfriend. The most intimate avoidant man she had ever met found someone, and she was still alone. Alone, approaching her mid-thirties with a slow paying job and weekend career in the diner she worked at when she was seventeen. Great, just great.

Bringing the pancakes over bitterly, her only thought was that he better tip her more than her fair share for the hostile service. This time she put her focus on a close up of the little blonde, she was fair all over and had a distinct air of wanting to hate her for being unhatable. Perhaps it was the vibe of being the cheerleader bitch who stole the best jock for the prom, but Andrea couldn't place her with him. Either she was different than the Barbie stereotype (something she would hate to be true since she was enjoying hating her perfect possible life) or he was into the opposite of everything she had tried to be for him.

Beth ate the pancakes slowly, savouring the amazing feeling of food after rigorous activities. Her loud moan of joy whilst she grabbed her coffee cup made Daryl look up at her. His eyes darkened slightly and she smiled back, knowing exactly what he was thinking. They spoke casually about plans for the day, which consisted of only Beth needing to go to work, and then of little things that had no real bearing to the reality that they lived.

Daryl couldn't help but feel they were still on some tight rope waiting to fall one way or the other. That scared him. Knowing he had secrets and so couldn't confront her about hers. Even if he could barely see that open, broken little thing that sat crying behind a bed in a stranger's guest room. He had never thought this would end up to friendship, or acquaintance- let alone be the boyfriend of such a person. E was made for scared hatred of love and affectionate feeling, was meant to have sex but not commit. It was what he was meant to be, but barely two months after knowing her autumn had come round, stripping him of his green naivety of love and leaving him bare. Winter would have to come soon, and that would be the test to see if this was worth it all.

Getting caught up in his thought once again, since Beth somehow in her quiet but comfortable silence managed to illicit thoughts from his past. His mother had been like her, full of life and a youthful glow. He knew this because he saw the wedding photograph of a couple he could barely recognise by the time he was old enough to realise they were his parents. His mother could be bought on cheap figures and cigarettes, washing it down with straight vodka. His father ruined it all, unable to hold it together for a family or love because his inner demons were too amplified by the volatile booze he was drinking.

He didn't want to be his father. But a man who once held his arm protectively against the auburn curls of a woman he married, became a dragon that ate and spat her out. Beth was kind and sweet, her toughness was a consequence of the world, but her nature held no meanness in it. That vindictive nature that missed her character, was made up for in his own. One day they wouldn't be smiling, they'd be fighting. And that scared him. Because he could do so much more damage than she would without even blinking. She wouldn't hurt him, he'd hurt himself by hurting her.

Depressing thoughts come at the strangest of times. They do not take account of the happiness you feel, in fact they most likely occur precisely at the moment of your highest high in years. He didn't want to count down the weeks, maybe the months or years they had until he screwed up inevitable for good. If it wasn't an old girlfriend, or his own jealousy it would be something. The clock was ticking down, only he had no idea how much time was left until the end.

He looked across at Beth, whose eyes veiled her own dark thoughts. They left them instead, starting instead a conversation about the great abnormality of a chocolate river and how excessive or delicious it would be. Her blonde hair was dry, she was in his clothes and a small smile on her face. His own smile reflected how happy he was with her, including the strange conversations they had. And she smiled, still re-boxing the painful memories he had dragged up that morning into untouchable boxes only a psychiatrist should be allowed to open.

_**Review to tell me your thoughts, ooh the fluffiness before perhaps a bit more drama- actually that's a point, what do you guys want? Fluff or drama? xxx**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Dun-dun dah-dah, I like the idea of this chapter but it's a bit sickeningly sweet in a way- but hey-ho, people voted for fluffiness and so fluffiness it is! xxx**_

On the way out of the diner they ran into the Grimes family. Beth walked straight into rick's chest and was mid-way through apologising frantically before remembering the last time they saw each other and the state she was in. blushing bright red and covering her face she felt like dying of mortification.

Rick simply pretended not to notice, smiling widely and giving Daryl a large bear hug which he tried to avoid unsuccessfully. Daryl looked across at Ricks' family who he had only ever seen in photographs in his police office and wallet. His wife, Lori, was tall and slim but had on a surprised look that thinly concealed the usual sour look. He knew they had their ups and downs in their marriage, particularly concerning Rick's own claimed paranoia over her fondness for life long best friend Shane.

The children were taking a quick interest in Beth, the baby in the stroller holding her chubby arms out and straining again the seatbelt. He wondered idly if that was the baby she had those weeks ago he thought was hers. Lori smiled at Beth upon recognising her, making it seem like such a small world that they knew each other at all.

''Beth, sweetie, it's been such a long time- how are you honey?'' Lori rubbed her arm warmly, obviously knowing exactly what happened to her weeks ago. Beth did a gracious job of concealing her grimace at the pitying tone, pretending she wasn't dressed after a dirty night so that it looked like she was coping appropriately.

''I'm great thanks, how are you and the kids? Hey, Carl how's school?'' Daryl noticed that she barely waited enough time for Lori to give an answer before leaning down to the quiet little boy, who slowly started his own stuttered account of life at the smiling blonde. The vibe was coming off that Beth didn't like Lori almost as much as he was unsure of her.

The women fell into small chatter, which rick ignored as he turned to Daryl, raising an eyebrow and leaning in to whisper quietly at him.

''Hey man, see you and Beth are still making it work- if that outfit is anything to go by.'' Rick smirked and winked at Daryl, who shrugged simply back.

''Yeah, we had a damn sleepover, so what?'' Daryl growled embarrassedly, only now caring his actions of last night were public around people he knew. Rick laughed wholeheartedly at him, but it did little to cover the stress on his face and in the bags under his eyes.

Daryl slowly directed the conversation the same way as the women's, asking about work and shit like that. Rick looked stressed, simply put, he had gained years in the weeks Daryl hadn't seen him. Rick confessed to having a rocky time of late, quietly saying he and Lori had so little time together.

''Kids get between you of course.'' He laughed a bit too loudly, so that his words registered with a shocked and slightly pissed Lori. Obviously she didn't like the honest approach to answering questions.

''If you want some time alone, I could take the kids until 4- I mean, I've missed this little one.'' Beth's voice was light and calming, she ruffled babbling Judith's hair happily, receiving a gummy smile in response. The unwavering sincerity of her offer was palpable.

Lori looked like she wanted to throw the children at her and run, but was reluctant to say so in case it started another fight with Rick. Family time was becoming increasingly important to him as of late, more time was expected together as he desperately tried to keep the family going. Dinners and breakfasts were to be spent together, as well as more time at Carl's baseball games even though he was only the spare on the team and sat on the bench for everything but warm up and cheering.

Surprisingly, however, Rick seemed to be so in his inner turmoil he needed a break to talk to his wife. As of late they had argued or had the kids in the way. He couldn't remember their last conversation, and honestly a day together sounded too good to be true. He was fed up of sleeping on the couch because they could never finish a quiet conversation without leaving it mid-way.

Daryl wasn't sure how exactly he ended up walking up to Greene farm with Beth and two kids, but he was. She left him holding a baby, something he was really comfortable with, especially when she started wriggle. The small bundle seemed to like him holding her even less than he was enjoying it. Her small piecing cries would bring an exasperated Beth downstairs soon- he hoped.

Annette came into the kitchen, smiling at the children and Daryl's lame attempts to sooth a crying child. She got a biscuit for Carl who sat happily with a comic book at the kitchen tale like he was used to being palmed of on his parents friends. Then she came over to clap a fussy Judith's hands together, unable in her frailness to trust herself with a baby. Daryl took the opportunity so close to Annette's face to search it carefully. His trained eyes could see Beth in her despite knowing that they weren't biologically related. Beth had still inherited the softness of expression and effortless elegance in her movements, obviously from years upon years of time together. They had the same small smile on their lips in contentedness and laughed the same melodic tone. If Beth grew up like Annette did, so gracefully and happily, he would be a happy man. Of course, if they were still a thing- you know, not that he wanted that or anything.

Beth walked into the kitchen with a small bag of stuff, throwing snacks and bottled juice into the bag with expert knowingness. She had changed into light blue jeans and a soft grey jumper he wanted to feel against his itching fingers. Judith stopped fussing as he was lifted up and sat on Beth's hip. She did exactly what Daryl wanted to do and nuzzled her little face into the soft downy fabric happily. Beth kissed her mother on her cheek and called out an overly happy message about going on the road.

Carl was the kind of boy that needed his time to find his voice. He was obvious enamoured with Beth in the childish way boys are to any young lady they meet, he held her hand and told her all about the space rangers. She only smiled and asked delighted questions back, sounding somehow enthused in the most boring topic Daryl had ever heard. If he wasn't busy watching Beth, he was quite sure he couldn't do this baby sitting thing.

He still wasn't sure how or why he was still here driving Beth around. The only excuse he could come up with that wasn't the truth is that he wanted to send time with her, not he wanted to spend time watching her so alive and interacting with children.

They bought little ice-creams from those annoying singing vans at the opening of the park as a parent trap to spend more money that they were already being charged for parking, but he was finding it harder and harder to be grumpy about such things. Beth stole some of his ice cream, after Carl dropped his, and so hers went to the small boy to avoid little wet tears ruining the day. They raced along the winding paths, he still winning despite pushing a laughing Judith in the pram.

Eventually at the heart of the park, they found a bench to sit on. Daryl took claim, happy to watch from here as Beth made them all drink up so they didn't dehydrate. Carl grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the little gated, colourful play ground where all the children thrived and danced in happy harmony with the perfect day.

She gave them all a run for their money; chasing around the grassy verges of the park and swinging higher than everyone else on the swing sets. Daryl was used to being left with a baby now, jostling the pram slightly as she occupied herself with clapping and dribbling over the sight of dogs running around nearby. From the bench he could see the childish lines of her body more clearly, supple under the lack of the weight she normally carried around.

It was obvious that Beth was made to do this kind of thing. Have her own family and spend weekends in the park. But that made him question why on earth she was with him. He couldn't really offer that. Two hours with a baby scared him a little bit, let alone the idea of her having their kids. Oh, dear- he was thinking about them having kids. This had to slow down. He breathed in and out sharply. Children, no. marriage, no. little yapping dog to have to walk, no.

Beth and children and marriage and little Fido, maybe.

She was walking up the small hill in long strides from where Carl was playing with a tall bean-pole glassed kid with a football. Judith was happily picked up, being held and lightly jiggled above her head. The happy shrieks and softs coos were a nice soundtrack for the sun and afternoon. He watched her dance around with dipping Judith gently and playing little pretend dropping games to the giggling child. Her movements were precise and soft as they always were, and her large smile was only negated by the same glazed look he had seen earlier in her eyes.

She sat on the bench next to him when Judy got tired. The baby had a pouting face on her shoulder, little pink lips pert and pretty. Beth's hand unconsciously stroked the back of the little floral romper suit, twirling tiny curls with her fingers in total adoration. She leaned into Daryl a little so his arm wrapped around her other shoulder, sandwiching them together like some mismatched family. Her eyes stayed on Carl like a trained professional, occasionally flicking down to the sleeping baby or to Daryl's own softened expression.

''You'd make a great mother.'' He didn't know why he said it, it must be obvious, even to her. But Beth simply looked at him with an unreadable expression of melancholy confusion, her lips a thin white line as she tried to hide it by looking back at Carl. She let the statement hang a while, sighing heavily she turned and looked at him.

''I'm not having children.'' It was a statement. Her blue eyes were ungiving and it seemed weird for her to have a serious expression on her face.

''That's stupid I mean-'' he tried to sound upbeat but his stomach felt strange feeling of something not being right. She wasn't sharing again, and it worried him how gently firm her statement was. It seemed an unnatural thing to say, he couldn't comprehend her message and that's why he kept talking, muttering out the obvious things in his head.

''Please drop it.'' Her voice was small and cold. Her body shifted away from him, standing up and lowing Judith into the reclined seat of her pushchair.

He watched her sad expression in guilty shock, unsure what to do or say in the awkwardness. He sat up properly as he tucked the small child in under a small white woollen blanket and turned to go get Carl. It was almost half three and their games of playing house were coming to a close.

_**Hope you enjoyed it my lovlies xxx Review if you want to make my hell of a day into a good one *little blinky kid face***_


	30. Chapter 30

_**I feel like we went very off track with smushyness as of late, and I almost can't relate the recent chapters to the beginning ones which is my fault– but this now doesn't fit with the newer ones….thank you for the reviews, but I don't think I'm quite at the stage of writing 'm', I only started writing at all at Christmas…. This got super dark…..**_

_**so ok second note, I took this down after I put it up thinking it was OTT and a reviewer also said so and so I doubted myself got all upset and I still kinda agree with them, BUT all the things I planned at the beginning like this (merle, drugs etc. ) have gone down badly with some and greatly with others. I feel this is too important in Beth's character to not do. so I'm sorry, but its happening- oh god... **_

They dropped the kids off whilst singing the alphabet and nursery rhymes at baby Judith, well Beth and Carl were, he was driving. As expected Rick and Lori thanked them and sent them on their way with a promise to call if it got too stressful again. The journey back to Greene farm was silent.

Where usually Beth might interject with a small anecdote about a friend of hers over the crappy years or a stupid question about something endearingly obvious, she said nothing. And somehow the nothing in which Daryl was a regular inhabiter was strange and deafening to him now. He wanted her to talk, or sing or do something. But she didn't. He hoped for the courage to do it himself, but that wasn't happening according to his dry throat.

Beth pressed a small chaste kiss to his cheek and said thank you, sliding out the car and walking toward the door. He realised he had had her for over 24 hours now by his side, sleeping, eating and whatever else. Being alone was lonelier now, but filled with unanswered wondering as to what they were now and why she was being such a goddamn woman.

Beth shut the door behind her, leaning heavily on the wooden panel and slumping with a loud sigh. She had no reason to keep cool composure now. She took the steps two at a time, slamming her bedroom door behind her like a pubescent girl. Her hands were shaking, though she'd be unable to tell you why. They only frustrated her further, making her swear under her breath as she combed her fingers through the small waves of her hair to clip bits back out her face.

She looked pale and sweaty, pores all visible, and her eyes bulging slightly. Just how she knew she would look. Taking a deep breath she pulled her jumper off over her head, pulling the jeans down to her ankles and kicking them vaguely in the direction of the laundry basket. Stood in comfortable daisy print knickers and a tight white bra, Beth looked at herself with scrutiny in the long mirror. She was too pale all over, like that of a dead person or some mime. Her hair didn't help in its ashen paleness, only making her dark eyes and underwear stand out. She was monotone. She was monotonous.

Standing closer to the mirror in this light, the light of half-closed blinds and afternoon sun, she could see what he did. The little silver hair line fractures of her being. This one from riding a bike. That one was when nelly kicked her off into the thicket. Some from Zach. Others from herself. The long thin line, like a hair, stood out staring at her.

Beth hadn't wanted to do what she did. A lot of things that she had done. Sometimes it was easy for her to pretend she didn't remember, and what was funny that recently she just honestly hadn't. Every moment of Zach's smothering volatile love she deserved. And she did deserve it, and at the time she knew that too. Then Daryl told her she could do better, and she forgot what a lowlife she really was, and let him make her into some martyr figure. She wasn't. And when the memories came back they killed her.

She pulled on the wine coloured dress, smoothing it down gently. Once again looking in the mirror as she flicked on heavy eyeliner and lipstick. Paint your face on, it will hide the pain. They both smudged, and then smudged some more at the attempts of her shaking hands to fix what their shaking had done. She was more glass that the looking glass in front of which she stood. Barely holding it together, barely able to move to breathe.

She was a cheap lay. Short dress and sinful lipstick, flirty legs and a luscious pout. Reel in the men because that's what she did best. She looked down at her hands, still shaking. She thought of what they had done to men for her own gain, how she had touched them for money and for food. She felt dirty. Contaminated once again by the catch up of her past, it wouldn't leave her alone. It is how the world works, you think one bad thing and the worst of all your memories come back to slam you to the ground.

She felt sucker punched to the stomach, head too light and too full all at the same time. She thought of Judith to calm her down, and then Daryl, and then she stopped. Because both of them only brought her back to this cycle of trying to run away from the inevitable memory she was avoiding. You can't run from your own head.

She had a number still. An old friend form high school she may have or may not have dragged off the beaten track with her. He supplied her with little white pills a few weeks ago, just a few as a favour to an old friend. But she couldn't- could she? No one would know, it could be like a onetime deal. She had to perform tonight, for the sake of her job she should take some- no, no. you don't need them, and you don't want them. Jut breathe.

So she did, fixing her makeup and pulling on some low heels. She smiled then, testing out the look in the mirror. It was seamless almost, she could see what was wrong but years of experience told her no one else would. No one else would look at her and think that she sold herself for the first real meal in a week, or slept with a married man in some lost fantasy that she had in cheap motel rooms. They would never see it, but it was right here.

She sighed again. There was nothing she could do to cover the waxiness of her skin or the obvious sadness in her eyes, but a bright lip sticked smile would fool at least her father as he dropped her off. In the car she caved, and made the text.

Beth's voice stayed reluctantly strong for the first three songs, she could almost see the tiny pink pills making a difference to her mood. Everything felt less shaky, and so much calmer. The room swayed with her, the audience clapping at the end of her song, waiting for the next. It was their busiest night, Saturday. Her drowsy eyes closed as she started the first line of the next song. Her blonde hair cascading over one shoulder in the tranquillity of her own voice and expression. She was so, so calm. This was so much better than before, this was so much nicer-

Michonne stood near the bar, observing the entrance and surveying drinkers to stop them if they got rowdy. They never did, not really, especially whenever the performance was going on. The kid had a voice, and a following of bikers by the look of it. But she was sweet, and young, and there had been worse prima donnas working here over the years. She watched the girl's eyes flutter closed softly, her voice fade into a gentle dream like quality. Almost feeling there was something too perfect about her soft voice. And then she was falling, and she was falling. And before the first gasp hit, she was sprawled on the ground, golden hair like a halo. The most beautiful real life princess she had ever seen.

_**Beth woke up. Bleary eyed and thick throat. She couldn't tell you how long it had been, or what day it had been that she was last awake. In fact very little of her life was coming back to her as of yet. She inexplicably knew her name, she remembered middle school and church. Then it got foggy. Beth groaned, or she thought that she did. And then the sound of confused noises and shuffling like little mice. A hand touched her, warm and solid, like an anchor to reality. But she didn't want to go back yet. Something told her she didn't want to go back. A pinch of a needle and then soothing numbness. She went back to sleep. **_

_**She vaguely hoped they'd all forgive her for selfishly heading back to blissful unconsciousness, whoever they were. There could be anyone in that room right now. Her eyes twitched, and the light hurt. As if the heavy inside lighting of a hospital shot her it all came back. Jimmy was gone, she was on the streets, it was winter, she collapsed. Shadows became misty figures. They became the family she hadn't seen in so, so long. **_

_**It was quiet, no one had seen her wake yet. It had been two years, almost exactly since she had come home, in an act of angry defiance she had left to leave permanent hole in their hearts. So why were they here? Hoping she would die, most likely. Maggie's hair had been cut short, a small bob in sometime between when she last left her collage flat. Shawn was holding a cup of coffee, playing with the rim with him thumb because he didn't actually drink it, sure enough the shadowy line told her the cup was still full. **_

_**Hershel was rubbing his neck, holding a bible in his other like a shield against the world. He leant against the wall and she had never seen his so sad. In fact she had never seen any of them look so sad, particularly not her mother. Her dear mother who only ever smiled even in deteriorating health, she felt guilty when she saw how bad she was. Annette was thinner, tired- near exhausted. Sat close enough for Beth to smell the same perfume she had always worn. She let it hold her, like when she cried over falling into brambles as a child or watched to sleep but stay up with Maggie and Shawn. **_

_**What were they doing here? Was she dead, was she dying? After all the horrible things they had said to each other, nothing less could possibly bring them into this room, waiting and waiting for her to wake up- or not. **_

''_**Bethy?''**_

_**She thought it was Maggie, but she didn't know. The voice seemed far off and almost a sensory overload in its simplicity. The darkness enveloped her once again, this time less willingly. Knowing what the conscious world held, made it inexplicably more desirable in its drab pain to the comfort of nothingness. **_

_**She eventually fought her way back again, some days later. They had all changed their clothes and a doctor was waiting, as if knowing she was waking up now. Of course he knew, he's the one who put her under in the first place. The comfort of family soon turned cold. She didn't feel physically able to fight right now, maybe if someone gave her a beer. **_

''_**Miss Greene, can you hear me?'' she must have nodded, since an earthquake started in her head. ''I'm doctor Subramanian''**_

_**The same thing happened for a few days, until there were hours when she could keep herself conscious. The amount of drugs she was on now didn't escape her, and the pain in her stomach didn't either. **_

''_**What happened?''**_

_**And then they were told. She had no time to beg that her family didn't hear it but they did. The doctor said how she had overdosed on little white love pills and cheap liquor store vodka in the street some two weeks ago. How she was found and rushed in for her stomach to be pumped. She was too thin, not eating enough and her liver was showing signs of the abuse already at age only 22. She had vomited for days before falling into a coma form the injury sustained on her head as she fell in that parking lot days before. They kept her under, monitoring the damage done to herself as her family stayed right by her side. The emergency surgery she had under gone for the abortion. **_

_**She had lost the baby, she never knew she had. **_

Beth woke up, eyes wet and a sob in her throat. She was alone again, surrounded by people who would never understand the pain she was feeling. They asked her pointless questions about needing a doctor, but she didn't care because Maggie had been right all those weeks ago when she said it- Beth was a murderer.

_**Ah so this has been waiting to happen since the beginning I just got a bit too carried away with smush for a while- sorry, don't hate me xxx**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Can't believe it's over 30 chapters! That's insanely insane guys, thank you all for your continuing support, even if it means I'm not writing my Macbeth essay ;) xxx**_

It was nearly eight 'o'clock when the landline phone began blaring out its call. Daryl grumbled, swearing idly at the idea of cold callers and random selection for dodgy insurance deals. He pushed himself off the sofa, beer in hand. It had started off as such a good fucking day, then he said something or he did something that ruined that. He couldn't even face going to the bedroom to see her head print in the pillow still. Answering the phone he listened, then he nodded, then he leaned back against the wall.

His keys were on the counter, he replaced them with his beer and pushed on his boots. In less than sixty seconds Daryl was in the car and headed for the small hospital on the edge of town. Maggie was in the hallway, her entire body shifting and fidgeting waiting for him. Her hair was mused from running her fingers through it, and she had the wild look of someone trying not to punch something or break down into tears.

''What did she have?'' she was quick upon seeing him to walk up, questioning before standing intimidatingly close.

''Wait, what- Herschel, Herschel said she collapsed at work-said he needed me to-'' Daryl's mind wasn't making sense, she wasn't making sense, this whole place was so confusing. Beth was somewhere, Beth- he was here for Beth. He couldn't even focus on Maggie right now.

''Yeah, so what have you two been taking?'' Maggie's voice was cold and calculated, the amount of venom in it made him snap his head up to look up at her.

''Taking? We were just at the park-'' his hands were moving around on their own accord and he knew there was this pitiable expression on his face.

''You didn't see her swallow, snort, inject anything?'' Maggie's voice was low but less accusatory, she saw Daryl's shocked expression shake his head. And she wrapped her arms around him, because he looked like he needed it and she needed it too. And they held each other for the pain Beth caused.

And then Daryl understood why Beth was here. He covered his face with his hands and ached so badly to hit something. Why wasn't he enough to stop her doing this? Which was ridiculous because he came from a family of addicts and nothing, even as great as even having your family to support, can deter you from the pull. He wasn't important enough.

He sat by her bedside to make small talk for her couple of days in hospital and then the family prescribed ones of her family in her own bed. He left for work and occasionally took up Herschel's idea of a blow up mattress, once the aging man saw the youngest Dixon wasn't going to move until she was responsive once again.

It had been a shock for them all. Beth seemingly just crashed, and he blamed himself. What kind of father agrees with his daughter that she shouldn't get therapy after all that happened? But she had said she was fine, she was smiling. He sipped at whiskey, feeling the guilt and shame of the broken promises of AA, but not giving a fuck because his little girl wasn't his little girl anymore. Beth Greene smiled as a child, she went to church and did everything by the book. By the time he noticed she had gone AWOL it was too late, he had been focused on trying to deal with a rebellious Maggie who seemed so much bigger of a threat. But Maggie was explosive and adventurous by nature, she made her own way back to normal compliance of house rules when it was out of her system. But by then Beth had disappeared and it had been two years since he'd seen her.

She didn't eat in those months, wouldn't talk about anything with gravity and took up the look of recently deceased person as she wafted around the house. She had told him little about what happened before she wound up in coma, but it was the one time Herschel had snapped and shouted at her, said things he didn't mean. He needed a response. And she was better, she was better he was sure of it. She smiled and danced around the house now. Then this. He was her father, he should've known. He should've fucking known. The whiskey burned pleasantly as he knocked it back.

When you're young and you drop a glass so it shatters all over the floor, your father tells you to move away, to wear shoes as he tidies it up because he doesn't want you to deal with painful glass shards. Then there comes a time that you drop the glass, and you're too old for anyone to pick up the pieces up but yourself. Even if he wants to do the job forever, eventually you have to learn the pain of not wearing slippers where glass has fallen.

Beth was pale and insisted upon being totally fine. She fought nail and claw about seeing someone for her issues, saying she had none, but everyone else was united in making her go. For the first time Daryl saw how he must've looked to those head doctors saying he didn't need any help when it was more than obvious that he did.

''I don't need your help to take a shower, Daryl.'' Beth finally snapped when he moved to help her get her towel from across the room. The agitation had built to a boiling point from days on days of being pitied. As soon as she said it his face dropped. She knew she was being irrational, that he was being more than she deserved. ''I'm, I'm sorry- I didn't-''

''No, its fine, Beth. Go ahead, it's not like you overdosed a week ago or anything-'' his voice held a bitter edge of someone on a lot of stress and a lack of sleep. He knew he was being mean, that she didn't need him adding to her guilt, but he couldn't help himself. He was angry, he was so fucking angry at her.

''I didn't plan on overdosing ok? It was a onetime thing!'' Beth's voice rose just as quick as his did, she snatched the towel from him. Her mind flashed to her own stupidity, they weren't meant to hurt her, just give her a little high until she forgot this whole business. But of course she got the dodgy batch. And now the world and the dog knew her business and was treating her like a lost child, because that's exactly how she was acting.

''Why couldn't you tell me?'' Daryl looked her in the eyes and her entire body slumped in surprised hurt. Her bottom lip quivered, and he thought she might let him. But instead she turned around, blonde hair swishing behind her and bathroom door slamming shut.

She was like gas-filled air. He breathed her in and relied upon the breathing, it was natural and instinct, but she was killing him with this. He sat down on the bed, head in hands, because he was so exhausted. He just wanted to know when and why this all turned to them snapping at each other and concealing things. He wanted to believe her, that it was a onetime thing. But even then, something happened to make her do it. He knew how they worked, they fought and pitied each other and then had aggressive sex and it was alright again. But this wasn't that, taking her couldn't fix the bridge they made.

He sat on her bed staring at the ceiling in a room of Beth stuck in time. He loved being here, everything belonging to her somehow and connecting with him simply because she owned it. The white ceiling had those little patterned swipes in it, so it was textured and bumpy. He always wondered why people did that. He thought about it and missed her slipping into the room, wet hair and giant pyjamas on, and she closed the door behind her.

''I had a baby.'' Her voice was soft, eyes downcast in ashamed pain. She looked so small and tiny that he wanted to hold her together, but at the same time her words didn't make sense.

''What?'' he turned his head to her, knowing he must have heard incorrectly.

''She was a little girl, and I-I lost her.'' Beth swallowed, her voice thick as she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, picking at the floral duvet cover with her shaking hands. There was a vast amount of implied guilt in the way Beth held herself. And as if all the pieces were falling into place.

Beth thought about the silver line that meant she was no longer a mother, about the look on her family's faces. The twisted looks they held and her own response. She had vomited straight away, and then simply sat there feeling numb but feeling everything for hours ,until the nurses station changed over and new staff got her ready for bed.

''That's why you changed in the park.'' He was slowly sitting up, his mind trying to jigsaw it all together. She nodded slowly, taking a shaky breath, because once she said this, she didn't want to have to say it again.

''I didn't even know I was pregnant. Even without the hospital medication the baby wouldn't have survived on what I was taking. This, this can't move to a normal relationship- I don't want kids with you, not just you- anyone.'' And then she broke down, denying herself everything she ever really wanted. Her shoulders racked and her cried became awkward squeaks.

Daryl had never fathomed having children until he saw Beth with them. I shouldn't have been a big sacrifice but it was somehow, he always imagined it would be backwards. He should be the one refusing a woman a child, and she should be upset with him that he didn't want it to happen. It messed his head around. But still his arms found her, pulling her back to sit in between his legs, her back against his chest so he could encase her from the world a while.

''We don't have to have kids. Spend the money on travelling and a cute little house.'' He whispered it into her hair, not caring if she heard it but wanting it to be said. He could imagine him and Beth in a little white picket house age 90 with ice tea, even though he hated it, and little homemade biscuits. And it worried him he thought about the future so much when she was around.

Beth sniffled a little bit, then the weight of her head was on his shoulder, the smell of apple shampoo filing his every pore. They sat like that a moment before her shaky voice came out uncertainly.

''You think about that stuff?'' she thought she was the one who imagined this thing as much longer and serious than it should really be in. Daryl clicked into an instinct part of her, though she never would've known he was her type had their past not have been their past.

''Sometimes.'' He hid his blush in a small voice and weaving his nose into her little waves to nuzzle the back of her neck. She felt and heard his breath her in, as if he was committing her to memory.

''I love you, Beth.''

**xxxx**


	32. Chapter 32

_**Hello guys, this document froze halfway through and I lost it, I think I died. Like my heart broke a bit, but it is ok I managed to recover part of it! Xxx turbulent times…..**_

Beth and Daryl tangled themselves up in a warm hug and slept right through to morning. Somehow they patched the next few weeks together. She went to her therapy sessions and took like green and orange antidepressants, managing to apologise and keep her job at the bar with a little grovelling and a few tears. She and Daryl would fight, and they'd say it was over. Whoever's house it wasn't would storm out and return within ten minute for heated kisses and whispers of 'I'll never leave you's. And it wasn't perfect, but neither of them expected that. But its imperfection worked for the two of them.

Daryl had never met anyone who got under his skin in such a good way before. She simply would smile and dance around with the most stupid of ideas. Hey, we should make pizza with bolognaise not tomato sauce. Or what if car windscreen wipers had anti-freeze in them too so you don't have to de-ice your car? And he'd laugh at her then. The next day she'd be slutty and sultry, wearing only his shirt and finding ridiculous reasons to bend over (not that he cared THAT much). And then she'd be crying and hysterical, but even those times he didn't mind because he was close enough to smell her shampoo.

He was in the shop fixing up some busted old motorcycle that reminded him of Merle's old obsessions, when Glenn came in whistling. Daryl frowned at him, throwing an oily cloth at his face for being so chipper. T-dog made a grunt of humorous intent from across the room and started sipping his coffee sourly, he was going cold turkey on pot and tobacco. Daryl personally thought he was being an irritable git, but hey, he was probably worse.

''What you smiling bout, Glinda?'' Daryl put down his tools and stood up from where he had been sat on the floor, groaning like an old person though probably doing more cardio nowadays than ever in his life…..

''I don't think Glinda is a name, maybe Glenda, old man.'' Glenn smiled at Daryl, dodging the wrench that was thrown far enough to not hit him anyway. It landed with a loud twang on the floor, earning a yell from the office.

''Yeah, it is. The pink one from wizard of Oz-'' Daryl stopped himself form the deadpan looks he was getting from the men he wanted to respect him as a man and mechanic. He honestly hadn't filtered that. Though Beth would've been proud he remembered her part in the school play, even if he only remembered it for the freaky-ass name. He coughed, looking slyly across. ''So why you chirpin'?''

Glenn opened his mouth, and then closed it again, and then he fought an awkward smile. He held up a finger and ran back to the door, they could hear the bleep of his beat up car being unlocked and then the footsteps of Glenn jogging back to them holding a small box.

''Going to ask Maggie to marry me.'' Glenn's smile burst out again, only this time it stayed a permanent feature.

Glenn was naïve of a lot of thing, when people were lying was one of them. Surprisingly Joe was the first to push his grey hair back and make a noise of what could be construed as an awkward laugh or disbelieving snort depending on your level of optimism. He held his hand and slapped the young boys back with a big fake smile and some words of congratulations.

Daryl was swallowing all the thoughts he had about this. He gave a half smile and patted his back also so he didn't have to look at Glenn's face. T-dog took Daryl's lead and looked like he swallowed a whole bucket full of reasons to not marry at all ever never ever oh hell no not happening don't do it.

At the end of his shift Daryl sat in his truck, he promised Beth he'd come over and watch some shitty TV and idly talk about what she had said in her session that day. But he was thinking about Glenn, and so therefore subsequently Maggie. They had been together, what, like a month now. A month. He was no relationship guru, but a month? Someone should've told the poor guy, he should've told the poor guy. Now he was going to be heartbroken and it was all the guys at the shops fault for simply saying 'it's too soon'.

They seemed happy though, as far as couples go. He didn't see them argue at all and he was always encouraging to Beth if not a little bit awkward with knowing what to say. She didn't mind, in fact she made it a game to make him feel really awkward and Maggie would teasingly tell her little sister off. And there were no hidden secrets with Glenn. Number one, he couldn't lie to save his skinny little arse. And number two, there were no crazy past stories like his and Beth's. He was a sound guy and there's no reason he shouldn't get married, one day.

And maybe that why his chest felt tight and his head refused to want to drive to Greene Farm but drove him home instead. And he somehow got upstairs without thinking that he wasn't Glenn. His back story was fucked up, and Beth's was nothing but worse. They could never get married as happily as that. Maggie and Glenn snuggled every night damn it- he and Beth spent half their time snuggling the other yelling at each other of some small shit. He knew that he loved her, but that might never be enough.

After this realisation he realised that he was legitimately thinking about marrying Beth someday. What the fuck? They were no better than Glaggie over there, what like three months into knowing someone you start theorising a little picket fence. Only she was expecting that fence because he fucking told her he'd get her one. By now his breathing was erratic, he felt trapped so he opened up all the windows.

The idea of monogamy was a weird one to him. One person for the rest of your life, bound to them by legal documentation. His parents were never the type to parade fidelity around when they snuck their partners in when the other was out. In fact other than Uncle Dale and Irma, he didn't think he couldn't think of any other couple that were just happy being married for that amount of time. Marriage made you twisted and cruel. Marriage took the life out of you bit by bit. And no one else for the rest of his days? Was that what this was now, he wasn't allowed to go to the bar and drink and fuck. That had been his favourite Saturday night experience. Saturdays from now on were going to have to be watching fucking Bridget Jones as he got his menses.

The idea of solely being with Beth didn't repulse him as such. He just felt trapped, very, very trapped. Like that little rabbit that walks into one of his snares and think 'oh shit, I should've hopped the other way'. And he was trying to find his car keys, but everything seemed to be everywhere in his vision and head. He was nauseated and couldn't breathe, it was so hot in this place. His phone bleeped a new message, Beth pulling a face with her cheeks puffed out blew up on the screen. He ignored it, taking in deep breaths.

He could walk to the local, take in the fresh polluted air as he went. Then he could have a beer like the good old days, on his barstool with Bill the Stoner. He knew he was being ridiculous, as guys like him didn't get girls like Beth and here he was literally running from her for no reason. Obviously the pros of their relationship should outweigh all the cons that they also had. He had Beth, he had sexy, innocent Beth Greene. The girl that guys gave their number to when she sang in all her finery, but would lose their numbers in the bin to wear sweat-pants on his sofa.

The beer was good. And the place hadn't changed one iota; the lukewarm piss they served to loyal customers who frankly didn't come for good alcohol, a clean environment or classy company. But it was a second home to Daryl, the kind of place he spent his father-son bonding time from the age of five upwards. It was comfortable settling with bums like him. So he drank his beer.

Eventually the novelty of cheap watered down refreshment got the best of him and he forked out for too expensive and too diluted whiskey. It burned on its way down as it should, taking him away from the sting of his mind and the vibrating of his phone on the bar counter. He knew he was late, past the level of alcohol consumption being able to text coherently and explain, let alone drive there. But he had nothing to say, he wanted to throw the phone across the room because it tied him to her, but he couldn't fathom why that was a bad thing and why he was so, so afraid of that.

And he watched the way the long tall brunette walked up to him, how she winked and tossed hair over her caramel coloured shoulder. She was the kind of girl that offered as many issue as Beth did but none of the sincerity. She smirked at him watching her, using her friends as a ploy to do some slutty dancing in a bar with no dance floor to give him an excuse to lock eyes on her hips.

Her entire bogy was fluid and moved in the expert art of seduction, straight sleek hair over her shoulder, covering one smouldering eye. She had the sexy sway and the slight pop f her arse to a t, but Daryl couldn't find it the sexiest dance her had seen. For some reason his mind insisted on walking past his bathroom door to make them coffee to find Beth dancing. She was just out of his shower, droplets of water on her shoulders and awkward cliché moves being done to her own song about applying face cream. She had scream when she saw him, looking the perfect picture of mortification for twirling around his bathroom in a towel. But it somehow got him more stirred up n side than this by all means perfect slut goddess in front of him.

And he sighed. Because he didn't want to admit that he and Beth were serious, or that they would be together forever- because that was too scary to say aloud. But at the same time he didn't want anyone else, not at all. His mind and body betrayed each other. Wrongly too, he thought. His downstairs moved only for the feel of soft familiar Beth, but his mind was trying to break that and find some cheap lay like the old days. He could fuck someone, fuck it all up and then maybe he would know how to cope with his feeling for Beth.

He the thought what it would be like if he grabbed the tanned Barbie and kissed her roughly, pulling her accepting into his whiskey tasting mouth, ignoring the feel of Beth's final message on the phone in his pocket. But he didn't want to be that man anymore. But he didn't want to go home either. So he ordered another drink hoping it would suffocate the thoughts in his head for the night.

_**Thanks for reading xxx also my pizza and car ideas are real questions I've asked my daddy in the last few days, so if anyone has an idea or anything cool to share I wanna hear….**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**This may get a bit distracted, masterchef is on and I literally don't know why I can't help but watch it. I'll try not to talk about food too much. Thank you to my lovely reviewers we're almost at 200! What is with that guys? *crazy happy laugh* xxx**_

Beth looked at her phone. She was sat on her bed upstairs cross legged and hugging a large pillow to her chest. Her chin slowly sank to her chest in the drowsy feeling the drugs were giving her of late, making her need at least as much sleep as a new kitten. Hershel and Annette were out at Shawn's, having dinner with them before their family started. It seemed the issues stemmed after him and simplified down the line.

Her hair was pulled back and she had taken her makeup off hours ago to wait for the inevitable doorbell. When it became evident he wasn't turning up anytime soon, Maggie had asked politely if she and Glenn could watch a film with her, and of course she said yes. Then it became evident the tow of them were going to be too busy kissing each other's faces off to care that she was next to her, she relocated to the kitchen table. And there she stayed hugging her hands around a warm mug of sweet green tea, until the flash across her vision turned out to be a bra. And now she was upstairs, way from the door but also safe from the envious feeling of adolescent hormonal reactions at parent's absence being fulfilled.

Now she was sat here, nodding off and promising herself she wouldn't touch the phone until it flashed at her. The little light was still. So the waiting game continued. She had observed everything in her room that she could, noticed every little rip in her wallpaper where posters used to be and gone so far as counting the number of books on the shelf above her desk. Then she moved to imagining every possible reason Daryl hadn't called. He was kidnapped. He was working. He fell asleep on the sofa. But the longer she waiting, the more her mind floated to the scenarios where he scoffed at the phone and ignored her because had finally had enough. She didn't think she had done anything.

When she next woke her neck was painful form the angle she fell back on, her shoulder forced into her cheek so the muscles bunched. A loud shout had awoken her. It took a few bleary seconds to realise it was Maggie screaming 'Yes! Yes!' repeatedly. She grimaced and childishly covered her ears with her hands, screwing her eyes up like it might possibly make any difference at all. She was grumpy and feeling more irritable than she should, Daryl shouldn't call her, not tonight.

Beth pulled herself out the bed to the bathroom, she brushed her teeth tiredly, leaning against the wall and staring at herself in the mirror contemplating. Her shoulders hunched when she stood like this, so she stood up, much preferring the tight slender neck she got when she pushed her head like so. Then she made a conscious effort to open her eyes a bit further so she looked alert and awake, spitting toothpaste out and giving herself a sweet smile. It wasn't horrendous, there was no way she was possibly so repulsive that he suddenly only recognised that in her. Maybe it's because she had gotten too comfortable. Wasn't that a thing with guys? Like you stopped dressing up and wearing make up and that makes you one of the guys- oh shit, was that it?

She hurried back to her room, slamming the door in protest to her sister, not resisting the urge to press the centre button of her phone to see the screen light up with no new messages. But she simply threw it onto the bed so it bounded off the other side. A quick stop in the mirror to suck in her stomach, push up her boobs and nod at her body being equally not as disgusting as her face. Then Beth got to her desk. It took a few minutes and the discovery of a lot of crap she forgot that she had in the first place, to pull out a few conservatively hidden copies of cosmopolitan magazine.

Herschel would have died if he knew Beth brought such material into his house. Even more so if he knew how long they had been there, and at what age Beth had bought them with her friends. Once she kept them in her locker, but at summer they been risked home because this was Beth's rebellion, and until about a week later there was no equal sin her fifteen year old self had yet done. But right now she was glad for the inspiration. Here she had three glossy magazines, and so on the nearest one she sat in her chair and flicked through.

Any article on men she read, dismissing most of them on their ridiculousness and contemplating ideas of others. 'Why is he Mr Sunshine?', just skip that one entirely. By the end of the first magazine she was slightly disheartened, at one point this had been her friends bible for looking at boys they liked. Now the only notes she made were on sex tips from riskily positioned Barbie and Ken dolls, before she pushed it underneath the others to start the process again. The next two were largely the same content. Other than a few pairs of shoes she had no reason to wear and no store that still made them, the magazines were a bust idea.

Restless in her tiredness, she wandered back over to her bed, rubbing her face and lying down. Her alarm clock told her it was just after 1 am, so she pulled the blankets over her and fell asleep in record time. She dribbled slightly in her sleep, head lolling to left of her starched white pillow, but she didn't move until morning.

The morning brought the noises of a bustling scene downstairs, Beth groaned pulling herself out of bed and pushing the strays out of her hair toward the direction of a gravity defying chignon. She padded downstairs, morning pout still on until she got her coffee. The kitchen was full of her parents, Glenn and Maggie. Remembering last night her cheeks pinkened a bit, but it wasn't the first time she would hear her sister's amorous activities, although she hoped it would be the last. Her mother was cooking what smelt like something and bacon, and she didn't care what the something was but she'd take a plate of the bacon.

Surprisingly Maggie was the one who handed her a mug of coffee, exactly the ways he liked it. If one ignored the embellishments of it being served in a mug depicting a badly-tempered Disney dwarf it might have almost been out of character. The next was most definitely out of character, Maggie brandished a chair at the table for Beth, smoothing out the woven-art place mats they made one winter from a Christmas kit and then standing behind Glenn with her hand on his shoulder. She was smiling madly, and it was honestly a bit disconcerting. What's worse everyone's eyes seemed to be on her impatiently in their excitement. Beth looked up, noticing the piqued tapping of Maggie's fingers on Glenn's shoulder making that stupid reflection of diamond bounce of the walls because it was angled just so. Wait- wait, diamond. Beth looked up, settling the mug a bit heavily on the table and pointing at it. Maggie squealed and lunged across at her little sister.

''Glenn asked me to marry him!'' Maggie's scream was edging into a pitch only dogs could hear, her arms were practically around Beth's neck, pulling her up to dance around with. In a daze, Beth managed to make her body comply with a quick jumping up and down session. Beth pulled her sisters hand to her, inspecting the ring as if it might disappear, then made her own small scream and widely grinned.

''Mags!''

''Beth!''

Herschel laughed, patting them on the back and helping his wife bring a celebratory breakfast over. They all chatted happily, Beth mostly trying to eat her fill and curb any curious questions by turning them subtly right back around. On her final gulp of orange juice, Glenn and Herschel went to the garden 'to stretch their legs and let the women talk about dresses'.

''How did he ask then?'' Beth's voice was curious, she was wiping dry the plates and settling them comfortably in their cupboard. Annette was busy tidying things into the pantry, and Maggie was hands deeps in soapy suds.

''Well- ok this is a bit embarrassing, so don't tell mum- or dad- but he asked last night- in bed-'' Maggie smiled devilishly, winking at Beth and hastily whispering the cover story. Annette came back in so Beth loudly said how lovely it was that Glenn was so romantic, to which Maggie flicked her with water. Beth squealed and dodged away, stretching and making excuses to go get dressed.

She somehow ended up outside, not really sure why but her trusted old trainers were walking out toward the field. There was no sign of her father or her sister's fiancée- oh that would take some getting used to. It seemed weird Maggie getting married, of course she couldn't say that to her face. And she didn't know if it was being bitter over her own lack of stability or it really was true, but wasn't it a bit soon to be marring Glenn. He was nice and all, cute in an awkward sort of way. But he was nothing like Maggie's usual type.

Maggie was in fact, in the nicest way possible, a man eater. She got the hottest and roughest guy, spent a long weekend with him and moved on for lattes with her girlfriends come Monday morning, it was her way. And any relationships were with these same men only with a life goal. They'd own their own gym, or have a future in advertising. They weren't small time pizza delivery boys and part time mechanic interns. Not that she didn't like Glenn, she did, just- uh, it was weird! And it was far, far too soon.

Beth got to the field, but the grass was dap for early morning rainfall which had turned to sun so she couldn't sit. So she kept going, edging into the woods for the first time in years. It was quiet here, some sort of weird enclosing space. Like a bubble, you stepped over the borderline shrubs and were enveloped in this silent stillness of another world. And it hadn't changed, in fact the bright primary colours of some plastic toys still remained hidden under leaf fall where they had been neglected years and years ago.

She wanted to be happy for her sister, and she was, just more cautious. This led to thinking about Daryl, and the fact he never called back, even though her phone was still upstairs somewhere. Beth really hadn't been alone in a while, other than sleep and washing. She always had her family or Daryl around. But it was nice. The silence of the place made her feel she could melt into water and be absorbed in the overarching braches to die as brown crinkled pieces of youth on the ground to be trodden on over foot. It wouldn't be a bad life, it would be a nice life.

_**Wanted a Beth chapter so I did one…. xxx**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**My morning started with French croissants in bed and then went from strength to strength from then onwards, so I don't know if I'm gonna be able to be serious enough to make an attempt at the depressing story that is PUOM….thanks for sticking with me guys, this story is slowly on a close actually so Max. of like 10 chapters to go, alright? :D xxx**_

Daryl hadn't slept, he had stayed staring at the wall for long enough to be considered sober enough to drive. He strode across the dew-clung grass in quick strides, surprised to see an absence of Beth in the field. It seemed weird for her not to be there, little footprints told him she'd come this way. Her void seemed unsettling and saddening. All morning he'd been terrified of seeing her, and only know the idea of not seeing her was worse.

You could tell where she sat. A circle of missing daisies amongst a field of white polka dots was her throne, but it was empty. Daryl had always been a runner, and maybe that's why he could find her so easily. She was runner like him, so he could stalk her down and bring her back to his side. Running was getting harder and harder, particularly once you realise you're no longer running from valid reasons. Beth had waited for him, and hadn't shown up. He ran, he ruined it. He hadn't given her an explanation, and he hated explanations but she deserved one.

The shrubbery was prickly and bare, obvious in its hidden disturbance, enough for him to walk and climb over. He smiled at the little leaf covered relics of childhood, carefully stepping over the ruins of a den from once upon a time. The leaves led off a little way, not far. She was stark and bright against the orangey brown leaves, head back against a greening tree staring into space.

He moved to where she was, settling himself on the floor against a parallel tree. She gazed at him in awkward silence, breaking her trail of thoughts to look at him like he was a stranger. He let them sit in silence, not knowing where to start of what to say. Ten feet could be a thousand miles of words unsaid, 'hello' was his own Everest.

''Did you hear? They're getting married.'' Beth smiled at him, pretending the stinging tears weren't welling in her eyes. He looked away so she could wipe them away, nudging a plastic watering can with the toe of his boot.

He could hear a detached thickness in her voice, supposing that she had taken the same view as he had. Beth was like that, she'd find it as ridiculous as he did. She shook her head as if shaking out a bitter comment about the whole affair. But it didn't matter because she started the climb for him, bringing his voice to a place it could be heard. He knew it didn't have to hold weight to start this. She was his Beth, she wasn't inaccessible.

''Yeah, didn't miss it upon stepping in the house-'' he tried a hollow chuckle, thinking to the strong patting of his back and the calls for a toast. He had remained around long enough to take a sip of already open cava, ignoring the fact that Hershel was drinking, to congratulate Glenn as if he didn't already know. Then he was able to shimmy out to find Beth.

''Where were you last night?'' her voice was direct, the weight of her focus staggering like some sort of bullet to wound him. It wasn't an accusation, but that's how his guilty conscious took it. He looked away again, biting his lip. Eventually she looked away, but he missed her heavily dejected look, and selfishly that was all he wanted to escape.

''I'm not Glenn, Beth.'' He blurted it out without being able to filter through his thoughts, her head snapped up at his blatant tone and bluntness. She made a surprised questioning noise and hit him with dark blue eyes.

She stood up then, shaking her head as if she was trying badly to get her mind in gear to understand. He understood that, it wasn't much of an answer. She pushed her hair back with a small white hand, keeping it there to hold onto her forehead and shut her eyes. He watched her pace in slow steps, jeans clinging darker to her where she had been sat and around her ankles with the cold watery rainfall.

''I'm not going to propose.'' His voice was small, but he simply knew she had heard it. He moved himself up too, wanting to groan at the sleepless ache within him, suddenly a night sat in his hallway was a bad idea. Beth opened her eyes to look at him. He could see the swimming hurt and confusing in them, but he knew he meant it, and at looking at him she knew that too.

''I never asked you to.'' She had an equally even tone, and that scared him. Her face let the rest of her down. Where she stood stock still facing him, perfect and confident, her eyebrows knitted together painfully close. He wanted to disappear at the loud frustrated noise she made, covering her face with her hands before looking back at him. Her face was pink now, cheek burning the heaviest, but she stopped pacing at her tree, leaning back slowly as if to check she wouldn't fall straight through it all.

''Why didn't you come, yesterday?'' she repeated her earlier question, the one he thought he had dodged with a harder tone. She kept her eyes on his, pinning him there.

Getting agitated her wrung his hands together, fighting the tell-tale urge to bite at the skin on the edge of his thumb. He could see that if he didn't answer soon she was going to explode like a ticking time bomb. He wasn't sure anymore if he was protecting her with the truth, or protecting his own cowardice.

''Daryl, please, what's so wrong with me that you can't just say?'' She sounded halfway between majorly pissed and pathetically hurt. It hurt him to hear that, it was almost as if the straws he was holding were falling to the floor one by one. He could feel the panic welling, and there was nothing he could do to stop the near-shouting truth from being blurted out at her face.

''I hate being reliant on you being here. I hate thinking about being monogamous with you. I hate being there for you regardless. '' He wanted to take it back, her face morphed form surprised at his tone through to total heart break.

''Then why are you here?'' she shouted back, hiding behind anger with a bitter tone. Still clutching the tree behind her as if it were the only anchor she had.

Her words did their job, they stung like a knife in his gut. But he knew those things, even if true, didn't mean he didn't want this. He needed this. Because when were things were good, he felt like he was lost and finally in a heaven of some sort. And when things were bad, he felt like he was falling to the earth and surpassing even that to the open jaws of a fiery, painful, personal hell. He stepped forward, standing about a foot in front of her, starting at the cold ground.

''Because I'd die without those things-'' his voice was no more than a whisper again. He was ashamed to need her so much, and horrified to see that she had fallen just as badly as he had, because that gave him way too much potential to hurt her. Like he just had.

''I don't want to be some regret, Daryl.'' Her voice was thick by now, her back hurting against the rough bark she pushed herself into as he leaned closer. His breath was hot and loud, but neither of them cared. One look in his eyes and she thought if she looked away she might break.

He prised her hands gently off the hard bark, brushing off little clinging pieces of wood to solidly unite them with interlinked fingers. His other hand trailed up her arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, until he gently slid under the weight of blonde waves to hold her neck. His head rested against hers as he pulled her gently to rest against him. She resisted for a while, but slowly weight leant against him, further and further in some psychological trust game.

He was numb with cold by the time he moved, but it didn't matter because he was still hers. He pulled her away, staying in the woods relying on his own intuition. They came out the trees near his truck, wordlessly slipping into the passengers seat, Beth looked out the window. He started up the engine, and drove.

Neither of them spoke until they parked outside of a small house off of country lanes, the woods edged round the entire place and Daryl held the steering wheel. She looked at him expectantly but carefully, sensing the tension. And then he turned to her and told her about the worst day of his life.

His mother had never been much of an anything. She was beautiful and young, auburn hair like a constantly flaming candle. She barely made thirty before the light was extinguished, and much younger when he light began to be smothered out of her. But she was like Beth, and that scared him. When he was sick she would manage to become a mother and play the part, buy him soup with cigarette money and pat his head like he was something special. His mother, and Merle too at that time, were a bubble in the only world he had known. The world of abuse. And he was only a baby, he didn't know daddies shouldn't hit mummies. He hadn't known she'd need protecting, least of all from herself.

He had started school in the autumn two years previously, he didn't like the confinement of classrooms, it didn't mesh well with his reckless need to be free. Even at a young age the only solace for him was being alone, outside, preferably in the cold so it all went numb. He was sent home early, they didn't care so much around his school, unlike nowadays, he had walked out after failing yet another test. And then he set out into the woodland shortcut to get home without being seen and ratted out to his father. Hopefully he would avoid a beating that night.

The smell of smoke was nearby long before he clued on its reason for being there. Maybe if he had known, he would have walked quicker, hell maybe he would have run. Perhaps it was possible he could do something if he had got there. But when he arrived there was a hole where his parents' bedroom had been. The walls were charred black and the loud sirens were deaf, because all he could see was the body bag.

He sat through his father drunken struggles, the shouts and cries of a man heartbroken despite his actions. Daryl pitied him for what he was. A murderer. His mother was gone and now he could never believe there was a chance for anything better than the all-encompassing flames he was used to. Sometimes he looked at their wedding photo, a picture of strangers and thought how things could have gotten so bad. The groom was a volatile drunk lashing out at what he loved. The bride a self-destructive woman with a relishing passion to pay for love until it broke her. And he was scared the names would be so easily transferable.

Beth sat beside him, her head at some point had wound up rested on his shoulder. Though it looked like he was holding her it was the other way round. She said nothing because there was nothing to say, and nothing he wanted to hear. It was a while they were sat there.

''What are we doing here?'' Her voice was small again, and he realised she had cried for his childhood. Normally that would piss him off, but he didn't care if she did. Beth was from the same dark place he was, her sorrow wasn't pity.

''You're going to meet my family.'' He looked at her, gently unclipping his belt and opening the car door as a hint that she should do the same. He held her nervous hand as he walked her to the front door, knocking.

The door opened and dale looked out his house.


	35. Chapter 35

_**I know, I know I've been awful and absent! Just having a hectic time and to be honest I've been replacing writing time with extra sleep to tide me over to Easter break! This chapter took a while due to having my own row with the bitchy sister (we have never liked eachother), but it's okay better for writing I guess ;)**_

Dale opened the door to his house, wide eyed look at seeing Daryl there, at seeing Daryl there with a girl. It was Sunday afternoon, the day Jack came over. And Daryl knew that, it had been that way since he was child unless he was away or Jack was in prison. He stepped out, closing the door to behind him, just in case Daryl had in fact gone insane and was here on mistake.

''Hey,'' welcoming his nephew into an awkward hug, Daryl's cheeks tinged pink and Beth smiled a little bit knowingly. Dale then in turn moved to hug back, smiling widely at her. She hugged back as he gave Daryl a look over his shoulder. Daryl shrugged and took her hand slyly as they entered the house.

Sitting in the main room, were Jack and Merle, sat on blanket covered sofas. They were staring and shouting at some game on the old television, mostly because there was nothing better to do. Merle was large of course, but in juxtaposition the man who had caused her Daryl so much hardship was old and small. The way he stiffened still was enough to let her know that the man held real potential for anger and to be wary.

''Darlin'!'' Merle looked up, eyes in real surprise that she was here. Little brother had balls it seemed. The noise he made in turn made Jack look up sharply, eyes narrowing on her. Beth felt like hiding somewhere pathetically unsure if it was those same weighty eyes Daryl had inherited or the knowledge of what acts he committed that made her feel so skittish.

Dale welcomed them in, ushering them to take the empty seats. Beth awkwardly perched on an ottoman, leaning her leg against Daryl's to feel he was still there and calm him somewhat. She wished that she was more impressive, the jeans and t-shirt she pulled on for a day of moping and unbrushed hair weren't going to help make a good impression. Nor were the small red eyes she still had from their conversations in the car. She bit her lip slightly, gnawing it to pretend no one was scrutinising her right now.

An awkward attempt at conversation was made. A lot of quick question and grunted one word answers. Beth remained quiet, pretending that she didn't exist and hoping it could remain that way. She wasn't entirely confident her voice wouldn't play at top octave at the moment. But the tension was mounting, the conversation straining to that of clinging strands of conversation. You could cut it with a knife.

''I'll go make some tea-'' Dale stood up, nodding at the awkward tension and bustling off. The man was used to dodging bullets on the basis if his family.

Beth made a quick noise, getting up herself and following Dale out the door. Daryl thought she was the smartest person he knew, most people tried to make friends before realising he was a jackass. Beth jogged down the hallway, stopping in the door way of a white kitchen. It was tidy enough to look lived in, large enough for one man. Dale smiled at her, filling the kettle with water. She got out a tray from beside the cupboards, brushed off the crumbs and emptied the biscuits he gave her onto a little plate. The small tasks took time for the Dixon's to talk stuff through, which by the sounds of the raising voices they were.

''Why is she here?'' Merle's voice was there, obvious in its distain. It only seemed to him that Daryl was trying to make a point. Perhaps that was the truth, he didn't know why he had to do this, but he did. Beth had to understand.

''Believe it or not, I wanted her to meet my family-'' Daryl's voice was low and gruff, still reeling from the flux of emotions of late. He had never felt so deliciously unstable in his entire life.

''Admitting you're one of us are you?'' Merle sneered the on the sofa, sitting back comfortably. Now that the two of them were together Daryl felt like he was being auditioned for a role he had no idea about.

''Merle, don't talk back to y'brother.'' Jack looked sharply at Merle, who only looked bewildered. They didn't have a father who gave a damn about the beating each other up, in fact form a young age he encourage it as character building. But it seemed Daryl's acceptance of the family name and in some way southern courtesy of meeting the parents didn't go over his head either. Daryl was trying, so Jack was trying to try too.

His father nodded at him for the first time in some sense of appreciation. He hated that it got to him at all, he wanted to hate him. But still that childish need got to him, wanting some sort of appreciation from a father figure before he died. When he was old enough he said it was pointless, but now that fucking flame was back inside of him.

Dale watched Beth make the tea and coffee to the specifications he told her, her little moments seeming so gentle ad feminine. It had been a while since there was a woman's touch around here. He had spoken to her a little, generic questions that she smiled and asked politely. She was visibly nervous, twiddling with blonde hair over her shoulder and chewing her lip incessantly. Normally he was the kind of man to say something, try to reassure her- but he knew his brother and agreed that she should be nervous.

She took initiative of picking up the tray, he was sure that he heard her steel herself under her breath. Dale made his own little prayer in his head, she needed help getting though this. Had Beth been of an average size or a feisty nature like most women the Dixon's knew, then they'd be no issue. But this one looked breakable, small and fragile to an extent.

Beth slipped into the room, a horribly fake smile on her face, fighting its grimace like nature. She held the tray out to Jack and even courteously to Merle, asking if he wanted a biscuit like he hadn't fucked it all up for her. It was impressive. She sat back on the ottoman, cradling her own warm mug with two tiny pale hands.

''So, Beth-'' Jack said her name like it was something sticky in his mouth, ''what do you do for a job?''

''I'm a singer at the moment, but I used to help out with my daddy's farm-'' she smiled nicely, her soft voice being a strange thing in a room that was more often filled with the gruffness of two crappy disowns and the two good ones.

''So not a real job? 'spect you'll be wanting kids n'ta stay home wit' them? Darylina y'hear that?'' Jack's voice was more calculated now, his eyes narrowed trying to get a response from her. Daryl moved uncomfortably ready to jump in under Jack's knowing eyes. But she stopped him, leaning in to look him dead in the eye.

''I never went to college, the climate ain't good for jobs. 'till then I'll help my daddy and do what I'm doin' now.'' Her brightness and calm seemed to only rile Merle, who stared at her with blatant surprise and a tad bit of respect.

Beth refused to let him pin her, on her way to the room seeing Daryl increasingly tense, she had decided this was a time for a forced stubborn streak to come though. Maggie and her arguments were going to come in handy here. Her act of defiance was something difficult, but years of hiding her own issues and fears made it somewhat easier to portray herself as a blasé figure. Daryl's hand crept into her own, holding it steadfast in a warm squeeze.

''If you're sleeping with my sons fer stuff, y'picked the wrong men- they got nothin' fer a woman like you.'' Jack had really said it now, crossing totally over the line so Daryl jumped up straight like a dog sensing danger. Beth squeezed his hand a tiny bit painfully so that he would try to keep holding himself back.

''I may be blonde but don't call me dumb. Sleeping with Merle was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The only thing that makes it any better is meeting Daryl. I love your son and I don't give a damn if I have your approval. We came here to be civil, so sip your coffee and eat a biscuit.'' Her cheeks flared red, but other than that her eyes remained narrowed and cold.

Daryl started at Beth, along with the rest of his family. Where Jack and Merle looked dumbfoundedly angry, his father was turning purple slowly, Dale was hiding a proud smirk behind his own mug. Daryl sure knew how to pick 'em. Daryl's hand was on fire from the pressure in her squeeze, being the only one to know that this wasn't as easy for her as she was making it look.

She bit shakily into a biscuit, pushing a crumb off the corner of her mouth in an attempt to act nonchalantly. Daryl's hand was still on hers, but his eyes were carefully watching his father's face. Jack, being as old and unhealthy as he was, almost scared Daryl into thinking he was going to have an aneurysm. He sat straight, leaning in and breathing heavily though his nose.

''What you sayin' girl?'' Jack placed his cup in the coffee table that separated him and the little harmless thing he thought he could break so easily. She raised an eyebrow at him. ''You sayin' I aint a respectable father?''

Beth knew she had two options here. The first option was to be scared, jump back from her earlier confidence and never come back here again. Or she could continue to aggravate this man and potentially loose Daryl for over stepping her allowed social boundaries. Figuring Daryl had never been one for the standard etiquette of social normalcy and with a quick glance to him she opened her mouth.

''My daddy always taught me you earned respect, Mr Dixon, and you haven't earned mine or your children's.'' She held her breath, looking up at the mottled face and protruding forehead veins. He looked like a fish, and Beth wondered if she was the only one who had ever bothered to say the truth, at least in such a calm manner.

Before Jack could speak beside a speechless Merle or Dale could make some excuse to remove his more expensive items of furniture from the room, Daryl made his move. Watching his father wait for how the youngest Dixon would react to such a blatant statement of dislike, and knowing that there was mountains of pressure to tell her she was dumped and it was over, that Dixons don't let other Dixons be dissed- he turned to her. He looked her straight in the eye, looking past her sheepish face as she stared at his impassive one.

And then he grabbed her roughly, kissing her with as much dominance as he could muster. Her little hands found his cheeks holding them to her so she could return the favour. Separating they gave each other a heated look with dilated pupils, she bit her lip and he pulled her up by the hand.

''I'll fix your RV on Tuesday.'' Daryl got up, same time as his father and brother, but was swift enough to manoeuvre him and Beth to the door. She had a small dazed look on her face, and had somehow reverted to the introverted stick she had walked in as.

''Thank you for having me, Dale. I had a lovely time and you have a lovely home.'' Beth spoke quickly, smiling gently at the elderly man with a genuine toothy grin. Her manners were cut short by Daryl tugging her down the hallway to the door. From there they both raced to the truck, smiling and winking at each other as they headed for a secluded space somewhere.

_**God this chapter, not moaning but weekend having to put up with my sister is making me sad- reviews will make me happier and therefore be more encouraged to write…..**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**My sister is still here so I have started drinking (I'm part French I can handle it) so I don't fight with her…so if my writing suddenly goes you know why. =.= ….aggravating times…hope you enjoy!**_

Daryl pulled Beth across to his side as soon as he flicked the engine off. Her lips met his no less readily, struggling to undo her belt and climb across to straddle him between his chest and the wheel. Her arms wrapped around started nipping at his lips. The small growl made her respond gently with little mewls- the ones that drove him 'bat shit crazy, woman'.

The teenage actions of making out in a car only fed into the dirty thoughts that currently fed into Daryl's head. He gripped her tightly totally not caring about hurting her or stopping her breathing because it was so necessary. The endless stress poured out fervently, his hands clawing at her little back, but the red scratched only made her moan louder. Growing increasingly frustrated Daryl rocked against her, eventually giving up to fling the door wide open and help her untangle herself from his lap to land gracelessly on the pavement. Once again he grabbed her hand, tugging her breathlessly up the steps to his apartment only half sure he had locked the truck let alone shut the door.

He pushed her roughly to his bed, pulling her top up and off to reveal a twinned grin. Making another gruff noise he leant down nipping gently as she wiggled under him. He pulled off her jeans and knickers in one, doubling back for her small cotton bra. The mood wasn't right for a long romantic night, it was time to be feral. Knowing this, Beth arched her back, stretching out deliciously on his bed in all her naked glory. Catching both her ankles, the phone started blaring loudly.

He swore. He swore loudly. Muttering loudly and shouting down the hallway. From Beth's position on the bed she could hear his small grunts of response and a few 'yeahs', so she closed her eyes, enjoying the crisp feel of cold sheets against her back and thighs. Daryl came in raving about Carol being sick with some sort of flu, she asked him if he could take Sophia if it didn't settle down in the next few days. He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down.

After listening to the story Beth, nodded and rubbed his back as he perched on the edge of the bed. She playfully bit his ear, ready to go back to the earlier attentions he had been getting. But he arched away instead, standing up and leaving her confused on the bed.

''Sorry-I'm sorry,'' he looked at her pouting face, ''Carol sounded….mucusy…I just it's in my head.''

''So you won't sleep with me because you're thinking of mucus?'' Beth looked incredulously at his face, quirking an eyebrow at him and folding her arms defiantly.

''Yeah-'' Daryl mumbled, shuffling from foot to foot slowly.

''I'm naked,'' her voice was blunt, a little hand flickering to gesture her nakedness.

''You are.'' He looked her in the eyes shyly, hiding behind his hair still.

''And you're thinking of mucus?'' The last question was asked and answered with a deft nod in her direction. She made a frustrated strangled noise, by rolling over to her stomach and releasing her slight groan into the white pillow.

After composing herself she got up, pulling his hardly used dressing gown on. It swamped her in large blue pinstripes and the smell of Daryl Dixon. Her hair was down, and the edge of his robe was practically on the floor. She left the room, making his follow her like a lost little sheep dog.

Stopping in the kitchen she pulled out spaghetti and some tins, before rummaging in his fridge. Beth cooking was something he had been spoilt to, and other than the sex and her face and her company and her prettiness and her compassion- it might be his favourite thing about her. The first ready meal after the broke up would certainly taste worse than they had in the past. He was going to die of obesity from her left overs or starvation because she left him and nothing tasted as good anymore.

It seemed weird to see Beth so at home here. His mind flashed back to seeing her for the first time fumbling around to find thing to make pancakes, how Carol had come in and she had seen potential in a girl he had only let sleep over because he wanted her to be safe. How indifferent he was then, but intrigued always intrigued. Still, no part of Daryl all those weeks ago would have foreseen her being part of his life- what's more for him to have decided he wanted her around.

She sang as she cooked, he liked that. It made everything seem like he were inside some stupid-ass 60's sitcom where nothing at all could go wrong. She was a gentle force, like the waves. Earlier her tempests had pulled his from safety, defended him from the biggest fear in Daryl's life. She had seen the dark side of him, what he could be- and she hadn't left. She didn't leave, and what's more Beth fought ceaselessly to save him form his own dark clouds. And the suddenly she was calm, singing and lulling him gently to sleep like a sailor too many months from the last time on the salty sea.

They ate bolognaise on his sofa, fighting over answers to some crappy quiz show. She laughed at all the lame jokes and puns, smiling widely and winding up laying with her feet in his lap. He massaged them lightly, kneading the tensions from her feet absentmindedly. Watching her lay there, laughing to herself over the TV, Daryl was quite positively lost. Her fair hair spread across the armrest and lightly across her shoulder, really it was a sin for her to ever put it up.

As if reading his thoughts were further away from human bodily slime, she let a small moan at a particularly hard squeeze on her foot. He slowed looking up at her with darkening eyes, his hands carefully went back to squeezing her feet, but his gaze remained fixed on hers. Eventually he lifted her small foot and kissed her ankle softly, raising the other to do exactly the same to the other one.

Then he shifted moving to his side, her feet hanging loosely on each side of his hips. He bent down, kissing down her calves with heart-breaking amounts of care. She kept her lazy gaze on him, letting him move the thick towelled material out of his way as he kissed the light exposed skin. He was slow, tenuous in his own need for her, but implementing it anyway. Just after mid-thigh he stopped, leaning up to slip the belt off her tiny waist, pulling it off where it wrapped twice around her small frame.

She shrugged off the material, moving up so he could push it to the ground with a small thump. Going back to kissing up from her naval to her neck, and then up both arms languorously, he smiled at her. When he got to her neck he buried his nose in the blonde mess, nuzzling the comforting smell of something floral meeting something distinctively fruity. He called the smell Beth, the same way Daryl had become the rugged fragrance of woods, spice and a hint of the petrol oil smell that clung to him from work.

She pushed him up, pulling her legs up underneath her so she could kiss him softly on his lips. They kept there, slow and paced evenly as if they had the whole world's endless time for this. Gradually tentative steps were taken, her lips stung but the charming torture was over when his tongue met hers. She pushed back a bit more aggressively, but he could take it, matching her movements with roaming his hands idly over everywhere she needed it.

Beth swung a leg over him, biting and sucking his neck with an awful precision of euphoria. He didn't think he could answer the simplest of questions right now, and then her hands trailed down his chest. He heard the noise of her playing with his belt buckle, felt it squeeze as she expertly used those nimble fingers to undo it. Her lips didn't even falter for a second.

His mobile blared and vibrated in his pocket. Moaning loudly, he removed her hands from where they still held his unbuckled belt, pulling the device form his pocket. He wanted to throw it across the room, watch it smash into a billion tiny pieces against the wall and go back to his ravaging. Her face was one of the same thoughts. But upon looking at the small screen he sighed, opened up the call. He listened for a moment, then gently pushed Beth off of him for the final time that evening. Her compliant body curling up in the warm spot he left as he paced the room hearing the other voice on the line.

He sighed putting his phone down, walking back into the room with that serious look on his face, and Beth knew that there was no way she was getting satisfaction for her needs tonight. The only thing that made her feel better was the look on his face that told her he was as frustrated as she was right now.

''Carol again?'' Beth was on his sofa, once again bone naked and sipping her glass of water with inquisitive eyes. Her voice was authoritative and grown up, far too sensible for a nearly-fucked-twice woman on a late evening. But he only shook his head, walking out the room to grab clothes and throw them at her. He went to find his car keys, talking over his shoulder.

''No…Rick-'' his voice wavered, already pulling his boots on and gesturing for her to get dressed. As she pulled on some clothes and awkwardly shuffled out the door he spoke to her. He flicked out the light, locking the door and jogged down the stairs to where she was waiting already by his truck. He bleeped it and she got in, no time wasted between the call and moving because Rick's tone told Daryl not to, and Daryl's voice told Beth not to.

''So let me get this right, we're going to a police man's house to break up a domestic dispute?'' Beth clicked the seatbelt in place, pulled down the mirror and started scraping her back into a more respectable looking bun. The jeans and his shirt weren't going to fool anyone into hiding their activities, but it was a lot less in your face than her other attire (or lack off).

''Yeah-'' he shrugged, roaring the engine to life, ''it's a first for me too, come on Sergeant Greene.''

_**This turned out steamier than I had planned…phew…Review to tell me your thoughts on that… xxxx**_


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